My husband already hates the 2 that I have and say's, "I didn't sign up for a girl covered in ink." It's not like I want somthing big and obviuos - I just like tattoos (and wish he would get some).
Also - he says if I get a tattoo - he's getting a motorcycle (which aside from the fact that we can't afford one, I told him he can have a stupid motorcycle after we start having kids {so he doesn't die & leave me w/ none } )
2006-10-16 08:49:04 · 36 answers · asked by autumn 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
In a marriage you really need to pick your battles. Try to decide just how important this is to you and weigh that against how strongly your husband holds his opinion. I would really stay away from ultimatums (the if you then I'll syndrome) it is a slippery slope.
Most important, make sure whatever you decide that your husband feels that you have heard his view and considered it in your decision. Good luck
2006-10-16 09:01:24 · answer #1 · answered by Robyn C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you want a tattoo and it's nothing huge and consuming, why not. He should love you with or with out tattoo's. My husband and I went in together and had tattoo's done. It's just a little rose with his name in it and he has barb wire with my name in it. I could care less if he gets more and it's his body, he can do what he wants with it. He feels the same way about my body.
Now the motorcycle thing was an issue in our marriage, I fought that bike tooth and nail! He came home with it one day and I was so upset considering we had a baby on the way and a 4 year old already. It was a faze he went through and nothing I did or said changed it. He got tired of the bike and considering we could not afford the payment anyway, after 1 year we had to sell the bike.
Marriages are full of fazes and trying to stop your spouse from having their faze is just going to result in rebellion. He should allow you to have your faze, so long as it's affordable. This is the rule my husband and I now live with, "if we can afford it, go for it".
Good luck to you. I hope you get your tattoo.
2006-10-16 09:01:29 · answer #2 · answered by Michelle Lynn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, how about you barter him down from the motorcycle to something more reasonable? About the same monetary cost, possible bloodshed and pain?
About the ones you already have, too frickin' bad. That's just the way it is. If you had them before he came on, then he DID sign up for a girl with ink. So nyah.
I love my fiancee's tattoos. She has two, as well.
2006-10-16 08:54:08 · answer #3 · answered by Phoenix_Slasher 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In marriage 2 become 1. You should not make the decision independently. But bargaining is fine...So maybe you should say, it's a deal, you get the bike and I'll get the tattoo. Or really, you could probably use a much smaller more affordable bargaining chip than that and still get your way.
(P.S. Do you really think your being a childless widow is somehow worse than your child having a dead father? I don't get that one)
2006-10-16 08:55:39 · answer #4 · answered by z 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you get a tattoo, make sure the tattoo artist does all the spelling for you. That being said, it sounds like your combined ages make you slightly too young to be married. He's punishing you for getting what you want, and you're only concerned you get what you want from him--children. Well, it's the old story of children having children. Good luck to you both.
2006-10-16 08:53:28 · answer #5 · answered by heyrobo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, In my first marriage, I told my husband I wanted a tattoo, he said "Not over my dead body". Well we divorced (not because of the tattoo). My second husband, went With me when I got both of mine, he did not make any suggestions as to what I would get. A tattoo is very personal to you. What ever you have put on you, will mean something to you. I am not saying divorce him, I believe that it is your body and you have final say over what is done with it.
2006-10-16 08:57:02 · answer #6 · answered by wallcritter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it on your face? He can have an opinion but only a say if the tat costs a pretty penny that may make you decide between it and eating.
Let him get the Motorcycle. Help him save up (don't go in debt for it) but he is compromising so you should too.
2006-10-16 08:56:24 · answer #7 · answered by Lotus Phoenix 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
absolutly YES. a tattoo is permanant and he has to look at it every day. if he does not like tattoes, then seeing it on you will bring resentment.
It is fair to trade the tattoo for something he really wants. maybe not a motercyle if you can't afford it, but try to think of something else you could bargain with. there has to be something he wants as much as you want a new tattoo?
2006-10-16 09:15:06 · answer #8 · answered by Crazy dog lady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, you guys really need to grow up. For one thing, think about your body. You are not going to look like you do much longer. No matter who much plastic surgery is out there, your body will sag. Your husband must really like you the way you are, besides why do you want to mark up your body anyway? I suggest counceling. There are so many other major issues to be dealing with. Good luck.
2006-10-16 09:17:12 · answer #9 · answered by cookie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's nice when couples can share their views on getting ink done. I have a couple and my fiance just got another also. She wanted to get an ivy up her leg and I didn't like that idea so we compremised and she got her ivy with her three kids names on the small of her back and it is much tinier than I thought and actually looks great.
2006-10-16 08:52:48 · answer #10 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋