My husband lost his mother three years ago and his father has since remarried. My father in law (FIL) and his new wife (NW) have been cleaning out personal items from the house that belonged to my former mother in law (MIL) . Each time we see my FIL he has a box of items that he has cleared to give to my husband. Some are priceless; old scrapbooks, letters and photos, but many are gifts that we had given to my MIL. We have felt odd each time, but can understand why the NW might not want these items in her house. Unfortunately, we don't want them either, they were specific gifts to my MIL that suited her tastes and collections, but not ours.
Recently my FIL has started to return gifts to us that we purchased for HIM. Apparantly his NW doesn't like the items and asked him to get rid of them. My husband and I feel insulted and hurt. A few of the items were gifted to him last year.
Is it acceptable to ask my FIL to stop, or is he right in returning the items to us?
2006-10-16 08:33:52 · 3 answers · asked by nancyj1985 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I think he's giving his new wife too much control in his home. To make him return gifts that his children gave him is rude! Just ask him if you're allowed to buy him a gift for Christmas this year.
2006-10-16 08:37:04 · answer #1 · answered by Michelle *The Truth Hurts 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This is a tough situation. If I were you, I would tell him to stop. I personally can't stand when a friend or family member does not respect the gift that I got them, especially when I try to spend so much time and effort in choosing the gift. If they no longer need or want these items, they should give them to charity. The truth is I guess you can not force anyone to like a gift. It is so rude to give the gifts back. I had a similar situation happen. Last year, I was talking to my sister on the phone while she was sorting through items to give to Goodwill. She interupted our conversation and ask me if I minded if she would give the shirt that I bought for her birthday to Goodwill because it was not her taste. Now, if she didn't like the item, fine. I guess I made the wrong choice, but she should not have told me!!!!! She should just have given it away. Some people have no respect. Ever since then, I just stuck with gift cards for gifts because that was so rude of her. Good luck to you.
2006-10-16 08:45:59 · answer #2 · answered by Angrygirl5 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the new wife is trying to run things. Talk to your father in law and calmly express to him what things look like to you. Then ask him something like "dad i was wondering - should we buy you anything for Christmas, Birthday this year, etc.?" If he says something crazy you respond with "oh, I was just wondering because I notice that you're giving all of our previous gifts back" or the next time he gives you something say "oh, dang I take it you really didn't like the gifts we gave you" or "geez, all you had to do was let us know these weren't your type - we would have understood"!
Good Luck !
2006-10-16 08:42:13 · answer #3 · answered by A Lady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋