Me and my husband have been togeather for 8 years and he used to act like I was the best thing that ever happened to him and we both loved eachother, now I just had a baby and trust me I lost all of the baby weight. well now he says he has everything he thought he wanted and he isnt happy he said he knows he loves me but he needs time to be by his self and do things for him. is this normal or is he just stringing me along until he makes sure he doesnt want to be with me anymore
2006-10-16 07:53:34 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
it could be that the baby is a new thing to him and maybe he just needs some time for himself, so allow him that for a while but if you notice that things are really going south then it's time to start talking
2006-10-16 07:58:03 · answer #1 · answered by waynekirsten 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
There are two ways this situation can go.
1) He could be either cheating or intrigued by the idea of getting with someone else, temp or permanent. A lot of people feel this way after being in a long term relationship....marriages included. He might be wondering if the grass is greener (it's not) and after he's done his running around he'll probably discover he'd rather be with you. It'd be up to you to decided if you felt the same.
2) He really just genuinely wants some time away. You have just had a child and I know this must be a stressfull time for the BOTH of you...if he honestly feels this way it would be good for both of you to pursue yourselfs for awhile (while taking EQUAL care of your child).
Either way, I'd ask him which way he's feeling. He may not tell the truth, but it's good to keep in mind for future reference. Consider whether you'd be better off without him or not.
2006-10-16 08:03:20 · answer #2 · answered by randompersoness 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don;t think it is normal - uve been together a long time and just had a baby together - although this is a very hard period of time in a relationship it is still usually a reasonably happy one - sounds like true responsibility has hit with parenthood and your husband is having trouble coping.
Talk to him about what you fear and ask him to be honest. If he does need some time and you are preapred to give make sure you are very clear on the terms of it - I.e. will you see/speak to each other? How often? How long a separation does he need - you don;t want it to be an undetermined amount of time. Will he help with the baby etc etc
2006-10-16 08:01:22 · answer #3 · answered by misscynic 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow hard to say really...you can't say what is fact for one person is fact for another...I do know that some men go a little "weird" (for lack of a better word) after their wives or gf has had a baby...some younger husbands sometimes feel after a while they might have missed out on something...some men (and women for that matter)...need to separate to realize what they want...doesn't always mean he is cheating....
You have know this man for 8 years...I am sure that you have some feelings on the matter...listen to your heart...talk to your husband...tell him how you feel, what you think about the situation, make some rules about the separation if you decide that is what is needed...follow your instincts...you will make the right decision...have faith in yourself :)
2006-10-16 08:08:55 · answer #4 · answered by Luv_bunny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to grow up and act like a man! He "needs" time,please, REMIND him he's MARRIED and HAS A BABY(he's an idiot)!!!! He just needs to deal with what is. And also tell him if he needed time then he should have thought about that before he unzipped his pants and got you pregnant !! If he still feels like he needs space, dump his @ss-he's a loser. You can do much better, there's plenty of good men out there! Good luck and congrats on the new baby!
2006-10-16 08:01:47 · answer #5 · answered by ~fUnKyCoLdMeDiNa~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most of the time people say things like this because the want to be sure of their feelings for you and to see if they will miss you, but in your situation, I think you have been through a lot and he if very selfish to leave you right after you had his baby. You and your child deserve better. I say threaten divorce and if he still acts funny, get a lawyer, custody, and hit that man up for child support. Hopefully that isn't what it will take for him to see that he screwed up, but it might be the best thing for you and your child. good luck, hope all works out for you.
P.S. Pls answer my Q "Is it just lust or something more?" I need help!
2006-10-16 08:00:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
He is definitely stringing you along. But don't act like you don't have a choice in the situation. You can either BE strung along or you can let him know that you won't be taken advantage of like that. This is a decision that he should have made 8 years ago, not right now.
2006-10-16 07:56:52 · answer #7 · answered by Please use other door 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
New fathers are some of the stupidest people on the planet.
Maybe its something about facing their own mortality.
Or thinking that its closing the door on the past.
2006-10-16 08:04:13 · answer #8 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he might be having a mid-life crisis. I think we have all had those times in life when we have the things that SHOULD make us happy, but don't. I would suggest that he go to counseling by himself & with you.
2006-10-16 07:59:17 · answer #9 · answered by Nunya 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
hey sis this time u must be very care full coz menz habbit like dogs but i think u r hubby must be kidding only then also give the love how u ppl r brfore the marriage oktrust me do this u dont have to worry.........
2006-10-16 07:58:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋