2006-10-16 07:33:33 · 60 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
Yes. Because when you marry, it's WYSIWYG, or What you see is what you get.
2006-10-16 07:35:14 · answer #1 · answered by shlomogon 4 · 1⤊ 4⤋
Search your feelings. A close friend of mine was in this exact situation, pretty much. Had a somewhat serious girlfriend who was on the chubby side, ate bad food, didn't exercise. He kept going on and on about how he was concerned about her health and her future, but in truth, he was turned off by her eating and by her body. I suspect that this is how you really feel, and there's nothing really wrong with that as long as you are honest with yourself. BUT, people don't change through manipulation, and you cannot have a healthy relationship if you are counting on the other person to change at all. Assume that she will not. Will you still love her if she gets fatter and fatter and never does anything about it? Do you love her now? If you try to get her to change, she will resent you for it - she is the only one who can make herself change her lifestyle in a major way, and she will do it for herself. Down that path lies pain and suffering and her self esteem will come crashing down, and as her partner, you need to be honest and non-judgmental at the same time. Tell her first that you love her, second that you don't want to be with anyone else, and third that you're concerned about her health. You'll have to decide the best course of action (joining a gym, buying fruits & vegetables and cooking at home, walking/jogging together) from there, but the most important thing is to maintain the emotional connection & trust. She needs to trust your motives (i.e., that you truly care about her & the relationship, and aren't ashamed of her).
2016-05-22 06:48:19 · answer #2 · answered by Joanna 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When two people have a relationship, sometimes the relationship has problems. If she became fat because of problems in their relationship or problems with other family members' burdens, then I think that he owned at least part of the problem. Ditching her could have been a way to "dump' his family problems on her. She may have her own family problems to deal with and may be carrying a double load now. I believe family "politics" causes people to gain weight.
2006-10-16 07:41:16 · answer #3 · answered by lightellen3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on what relationship they had...First of all it's kinda wrong, but try to see my point of view.
If my boyfriend told me that he doesn't like fat girls, why on earth would I then become fat. And on another note, if she got fat, it means she didn't exercise, which means she has no self respect or a very low self esteem.
If she has no self respect, I can see why her boyfriend left her, but if she has a low self esteem she's better of without him...
Tell her to find a guy who will build her up and tell him that next time he should rather just motivate his girlfriend and even go and workout with her, this way their both staying in shape and building a fun active relationship with one and another.
2006-10-16 07:41:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Cause" she got fat is what you meant right?
How fat are we truly talking here? was she 110 pds last month now she is 180pds? Or is he a stupid f uck to begin with? If he is plug ugly (which he is) he needs to get all the putang he can now. He will just end up paying street hookers for sex in a few years anyway. Don't feel sorry for him folks. Feel sorry for any woman that has the bad luck to get into his bed. I hear roofies are his type of foreplay anyway. There will be times he is paying by the 1/2 hour in that case I hope she jacks his wallet and gives him a raging case of the clap.
~Ciao~ Losers.
2006-10-16 08:04:23 · answer #5 · answered by Spay-n-Neuter-Your-Pets 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
that's wrong in so many ways. how shallow is your friend!!!
weight matters nothing to what personality should matter. if i was dumped for putting on weight i'd realise straight away that the guy was not worth bothering with.
why are men so obsessed with looks and weight. not every girl wants to be anorexically thin like Paris Hilton or some bird from Girls Aloud. Bring back curvey girls, as the average size for women in the uk is actually a 14 !!!
Men need to see whats underneath and stop obsessing with womens weight - no wonder a lot of women get a complex about theses things !!
2006-10-16 07:43:10 · answer #6 · answered by Miss Tickle 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm morbidly obese myself, so I feel qualified to answer this.
When I was in college, I dated a very handsome young British student who later apologized for breaking up with me, saying, "I know it's not supposed to, but your weight interferes with my ability to feel good about dating you." I told him the main thing was honesty, and I appreciated that he was being fair, but that I knew some people just can't find fat people attractive. In fact, most people can't.
A person who is overweight does not want hypocrisy. She does not want people to avoid the fact that it does matter. Your friend was probably doing the right thing to tell her that it bothered him, although I don't know if he was as kind and gentle about it as that dignified Brit. Still, he remained a good friend, we just ignored the sexual part. I hope your friend has done that, too.
Another way would be to make a real effort to help her lose the weight. If she was ready for that, it might work.
2006-10-16 07:39:01 · answer #7 · answered by auntb93again 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she was TRYING to lose weight and he wasnt being supportive during the long time it takes- then no it wasnt right. If she didnt care if she was overweight and it honestly was an issue for him then I dont see the problem. Attractiveness between partners is a big part of a relationship and if it bothered him he doesnt have to stay. And she should find someone who loves her for who she is. There are always dealbreakers- regardless if you agree with them or not.
2006-10-16 07:44:12 · answer #8 · answered by AGNY 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well maybe he was not right for her anyway but the question has to be asked why is she letting herself become so fat. It is unhealthy and although I do know some very attractive ladies who are overweight most of the over weight ladies I see every day (and I live in a town noted for it's obese ladies) are not attractive at all.
2006-10-16 07:39:05 · answer #9 · answered by Maid Angela 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would like to know what his definition is of being fat?
a few pound on top the average.. or a size 14 ????
2nd. he has a problem with himself.. he probly classifies himself by having a woman at his side who is slim which doesnt mean she is sexy! I think, it wasnt fair at all but she is better of without him. I just hope he doesnt get too upset when he gets ditched by a girl who tells him... you are too skinny
2006-10-16 07:43:04 · answer #10 · answered by stephangie2001de 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope he wasnt rude about it.
They werent married or engaged,they had no real commitment. Everyone has a preferance how they like their partner to be. He dosent like fat girls,either does my husband and I try to stay thin for him. Why should someone continue a relationship with someone they are unattracted to,unless of course theres a real commitment,like marriage. Some ppl have other hang ups about looks and personality,fat is his. If someone like rocker giorls and then she turned hip hop,that attraction may die,no difference.
2006-10-16 07:37:41 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋