is when he has his kids on the weekends and i think thats just because he wants a babysitter.His work closes at 5 pm they never get out till 6 we live 10 mins from there and he doesn't make it home till after 7 in time to eat and then he falls asleep on the couch 3 or 4 nights a week im lucky if we have sex once a month i really do not think he is having an affair but im not happy living this way i have talked to him over and over and nothing changes maybe for a day then it goes back to the same..I asked him to move out last night when his house is finished but i do love him and he is a good person any ideas on how to get him to spend more time with me or should i go ahead and divorce him
2006-10-16 07:11:44 · 14 answers · asked by Amy M 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
dont divorce him yet esp if you still love him, find things that he likes to do and try doing them with him if that doesnt work rent a good movie and try snuggling up with him , one night make a really nice dinner wine and all it takes alot of time but ive been there and because i spent alot of lonely sexless nights i decided to gat into things that spark his interest. my husband and i have been together 17 years now
2006-10-16 07:25:08 · answer #1 · answered by indy r 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has he said anything as to why he isnt spending anytime with you? Is he depressed, stressed or something? Have you ever taken inititive and said I made these plans lets go? Or something to that extent. I dont believe that divorce is a good route I believe that you can definitly work through this. Why does he sleep so much? Does he work in a highly labor job? Be patient and take more control of the situation. Surpirse him at work go there after and leave your car there and go out to dinner or something, that way he doesnt have the option of eating and going to bed you can hold him hostage. I think there just has to be something going on with him emotionally and you should really look into that. Is there other things that are going on that you may not be aware of? I know that I get lost into my emtions because of something my spouse does that I dont keep track of his feelings because I am concentrating on mine.
2006-10-16 07:23:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he depressed? When you met him was he different?
I may have been the same way. When I met Wife #2, my current love, I was crazy in love with her. Then we got married, and then I got stressed and depressed. Stressed about work, buying a home, paying bills, etc. Plus I felt guilty aout leaving Wife #1 and my two sons.
My current wife would say the same things that you do currently.
We talked about couples counseling. But I figured I needed help for my depression. Then the med the Dr put me on made sex unappealing to me. I just got my meds changed and I see my wife diferently now and I see life differently too. I am attracted to my wife againa dn things seem less stressful.
If he movs out then there will be 0 communication.
Does he drink? Does he have an alcohol problem? I did but now I am sober 180+ days.
Good luck. Make him the same guy you married.
2006-10-16 07:20:18 · answer #3 · answered by Steve P 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't be so quick to rush off to a divorce. That is what my husband and I were doing, until a friend gave us a book to read called the Five Love Languages. It helped a lot. I would say try some type of counceling, whether it be a book you both read and implement, or actual counceling. The US has a high divorce rate, let's try to keep that down.
2006-10-16 07:16:58 · answer #4 · answered by chellie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't really see why he does not get home until after 7 pm. Ask him exactly what happens with the one hour that he is missing. I'm sorry to say, this is really odd. He has "interest" some place else. You need to be ready with your decision if nothing changes.
2006-10-16 07:17:20 · answer #5 · answered by Wondering myself 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get him to move out and tell him that you want a separation. Also make it clear that if he would like to date you'd be happy with that. If he makes the effort to see you than you know that you can try to work it out. If not than you are open to meet other guys and see if a little jealousy could spark him into action.
2006-10-16 07:15:28 · answer #6 · answered by Phaylynn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he has another woman on the side that sounded exactly like what i did your situation. i wouldn't come home for a couple hours after work i'd go mess with this lady i met from work then go home eat then sleep. if he can't look you in the eyes without saying he's not messing around then you know it's true.
2006-10-16 07:18:12 · answer #7 · answered by chronic_alcholic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not try a seperation. You might find that the grass is not greener on the other side and you do not want to regret giving up a good man who might just be tired.
2006-10-16 07:16:03 · answer #8 · answered by lynddd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you find something else to do after work?
Quit taking the responsibilty for them. He should be taking care of his kids, not you. I have the same thing, but i let him take care of his kids. What ages are they?
Do they spend any time at their moms?
2006-10-16 07:17:22 · answer #9 · answered by Ellyn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is a life i don't envy! why so late getting home from work if you all live 10 mins. away? i don't think i would put up with it!
2006-10-16 07:15:44 · answer #10 · answered by kierstead 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋