My 14 daughter has been seeing a boy now for 2 months?

Question

the problem is his mom does not like my daugher (even though they have never met) everytime she calls his house his mom says that he is not home or can't come to the phone.. his mom has made it obvious that she does not want my daughter seeing him (he is 15) their dates consist of group movies or group swimming etc. Never have they been together by themselves.. I know my daugher really likes this kid and is upset that his mom lies to her about where he is. What can I do. Call the mom? my daughter is a good mature kid. I can understand his mom not wanting them to date..but to lie thats not right. Any suggestions

Answer 1

Wow, this is a tough situation!

If your daughter will let you (mine would freak out), I would call the mom. It would be a very uncomfortable thing for you to do because you've got to basically accuse her of lying and if the conversation doens't go well, she could REALLY put the smack down on her son.

Try for a "well, our kids are friends and really like each other. I thought it would be time for us to get to know each other a little." Then bring up your concerns and say something like "My daughter gets the feeling you don't like her and is very bothered by this. Is there something she has done or are there concerns you have that we could talk about?" This way she wouldn't feel like she's being attacked and will come away from the conversation that you and your daughter are handling things maturely and ethically.

If she gives you the "They're just too young to date" routine, agree with her! And add that he's welcome to come over to your house - not to date, but to hang out and watch movies etc. where they will be supervised.

Good luck.

Answer 2

Hi when I was 14 and my boyfriend (now husband of 12 years) was 15 it was my mom that did not like him. She had seen him but not really got to know him. SHe did not want me with him no matter what I threw a fit and when she did meet him she loved him to death. He was the "rocker" type and had long hair (this was in the 80's) and she did not want any part of it. Now she knows that you cant judge people by the way they look you need to get to know them before judging them. I would call the mother and see if there was a way to get the four of you together whether be over for dinner or something. This way his mother can see what a great daughter you have and maybe will change her ways of treating her that way. Maybe she can see that these kids are not 5 years old and that dating is part of growin up she could be having problems with just that. She may not want to think of it as her son growing up. Just figure away to have all of you meet and hopefully she'll come around. I have been with my boyfriend that my mom did not like at first since I was 13 years old. We have been together almost 16 years and married for 12. He is my soul mate. Believe it or not some actually find their soul mate at that young of an age.

Answer 3

That's her choice. If you didn't want/like your fourteen year old daughter dating a boy, wouldn't you feel offend by the boy's mother if she intervened? It's important for kids to figure this stuff out for their own. If they truly like each other dating can wait or they can figure something else out. Most likely if they were able to date, the relationship is going to end at some point. It's not guaranteed but it's very likely As for the lying that is between the boy and his mom. It has nothing to do with you or your daughter. That is their relationship (the boy and his mother) and you'd be best to stay out of it. I know it's hard to see our children go through these things but when dealing with personal situations such as this one it's important to not get too controlling. Your daughter will meet tons of guys--this is only the beginning. Boys will break her heart and other people won't like her--it's irritating but true. If you constantly take her life into your own hands (on situations like these) she will never learn to cope without you. I believe it's every parent's job to make sure their kids grow up independent.

Answer 4

Set your daughter aside and explain to her that some mothers just can't let go of their little boys. If she ever gets serious about this boy all she will have is an unhappy boyfriend and a miserable future.
The best thing would be for her to explain to the young man what his mother is doing and that she cannot go on dating someone who's mother is less mature than she is. He can call her once his mother gets a grip.

Answer 5

It's really nice to know you want to help. My friend had this situation and her mom did nothing. I don't know what you can do, but before you interfere, talk to your daughter and ask her. Kids don't like their parents to meddle without asking. She may have some ideas and it seems she is open to group dates, (it may help take the pressure off of the dates for both of them is what I mean.)
Sorry if this didn't help, but I think you are a great mother to want to help. My mom would let the relationship take it's course.

Answer 6

Perhaps you can try to break the ice by inviting her and her significant other over for a weekend get together. Try to find a way to break the ice and allow her to see you and your family's lifestyle. I would think that this would help in either getting the ball rolling or seeing that it's a waste of time and perhaps should not be pursued.

Answer 7

You can't control her or her son. Keep tabs on your daughter and make sure she is protected from pregnancy and diseases. The kids will get together one way or the other if they want to. Keep communication open with your daughter and remember the # 1 thing. Teenage boys only think with their penis.

Answer 8

Oh my god how can you let your 14 yr. old date even with other kids present, just think you were a kid once The mom is most likely concerned with age, I personally would not let my kids date so young. Your daughter is young just tell her to get over it there will be more boys in her life most likely.

Answer 9

Parents have different beliefs, so you probably need to sit down and have a talk with your daughter,her boyfriend and his mother and see what the problem is.

Answer 10

I would call the mom and talk to her. If she doesn't want her son to date, respect that but do suggest that they be friends.