Did u ever feel this way? Read this poem and plz tell me what u think?

Question

Ive got my dependency confused with love,
my underconfidence with my humility,
my needs with my nicecity,
my fear with my anger,
my weaknesses with my depth,
my selfishness with my bonding,
my skin is like a reptile's,
its dead from the outside,
Im waiting for it to shed,
but beneath is too soft and tender,
I dont want to reveal myself.
Im too sensitive for that.
I still have hope,
I still pray,
U laugh?
What else can I do?
I have to keep going,
although I khow,
Im only.... moving in a circle.

Answer 1

That's a nice expression. I liked it.

Well, I think you should take this example:

A glass of water is in your hands. It has some water in it. You can say: It's half empty.

You can also say: It's half-filled.

Either way you will be right!

Friend, you are taking two aspects which go together or in a paralleled way. As you have done in: "my weaknesses with my depth"

I liked your last line : "Im only.... moving in a circle"

So, "keep going" and don't stop. You will arriave at a certain point where you will find all the answers of your questions or the solutions of your confusions or inner-conflicts.

In the lines:

U laugh?
What else can I do?

you are looking so much helpless. :(

But again you have hopes... "I have to keep going"

I think I liked what you have written or given here.

Well, I don't want 10 points. But can you still give me a smile? :)Thanks! Now keep it there on your face! :)

Answer 2

Interesting concept for a poem. I was wondering if you can change the last line to include another reference to the reptile and snake imagery you have going on. "Slithering" in a circle might be enough, or you can research on how the movements of a reptile or a snake are described in more detail. More imagery with that extended metaphor would be stronger with more emphasis on the other senses - sound, etc. Really good start, though.

Answer 3

u should try to make urself happy.
of course u could just move on.but maybe you will run in circles for years....so i think it would be pleasant to u if u`d do something really exciting.at least you ll have a real bad time,so u can ENJOY the life u r talking about in the poem.

Answer 4

I like it I think alot of us feelthis way but I would like the ending to say I continue to keep, keeping on in this life that was intrusted to me for a moment. Just a suggestion. I like to think positive regardless of how bad thinks are I know God's in control.

Answer 5

in the past i have felt this way. it is a good poem and ithink you should attempt to publish it. never give up on your dreams. they are what keeps us going.

Answer 6

I like it and I can relate to those feelings!! You know its good when others relate to it.

Answer 7

Oh, that poem is just beutiful!
I love it