I don't have a libido. I take effexor for depression and anxiety. my husband has known this the whole time he's known me. now that were married it seems he wants sex more. I feel bad cuz I'm never in the mood and I'm worried its going to destroy our marriage. anyone have any sugestions on anything to take to get in the mood????
2006-10-16 06:18:01 · 13 answers · asked by princess011181 1 in Health ➔ Women's Health
Been there, felt that. Here is what I did; talk to your doctor about the medication you are taking, the side effects may include the loss of sexual drive. In addition, although I found this very uncomfortable at first, I began exploring myself and soon found that spot that sends me into another world. When I felt my husband might be in the mood, I would pleasure myself earlier in the day to jump start my playful side. Masturbation has really helped my sexual drive. My husband and I went through long periods of time with no intercourse, BUT I never let my husband go to sleep without pleasing him in "some" way. In other words, my husband NEVER heard the words, "i'm not in the mood or NO". There are a lot of things "YOU" can do, even if you're not in the mood, to please your husband. Remember this is not "his" problem but soon will be, if you don't start stepping up to the plate, so-to-speak.
I can honestly say that now that we are seperated, which just happened recently, we still have a great sex life because of my unselfishness and willingness to please "him". Don't be afraid to do things with him that you really don't want to do because of your mood. I don't like admitting this, but I also own (1) adult video which I have used to jump start my intimate side. He doesn't know about it and doesn't need to know, just the mere fact that he is receiving pleasure from me is enough. Also, if you drink alcohol, you might want to give it up for a while. Alcohol is a depressant, you don't need any more of that in your life. Exercise helps too. The more active I was, the more that drive was there. I only know from my experience that I never wanted to be accused of not pleasing my husband and then later finding out he went elsewhere. To this day, we are still intimate and from time to time he will say to me, "thank you for being a good woman". I hope this helps.
2006-10-16 06:42:33 · answer #1 · answered by BrnEyez 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course you husband wants more sex...you are married now...Give you husband what he wants when he wants it (within reason (2-3X week) - what is the big deal? So what if you are "not in the mood" BooHoo...... If you want to keep your relationship you really had better try to keep your hubby happy in the bedroom. Of course he has an obligation to keep you happy by doing stuff around the house and being a good guy. Its a tradeoff...it is how relationships stay maintained. Try to get off those damned antidepressants! - as you know it is that what is killing your libido....as long as you are on those things you will not have a sex drive - sorry....you might try switching meds, but all the SSRI drugs will probably have the same effect on you. At least talk to your Dr.
2006-10-16 13:30:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're on meds that are affecting your libido, then nothing you can take will help. Try watching sexy videos- try In the Cut or Unfaithful- try a long hot bath and let him give you a full-body massage with warm oil. He has to work at helping you get there and not just expect you to be ready just because he is. Good luck to you.
2006-10-16 13:21:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your doc about trying a different medication to treat your depression. There are tons of kinds out there--there must be one that doesn't strain your new marriage.
2006-10-16 13:21:13 · answer #4 · answered by melouofs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
antidepressants can unfortunatley decrease your libido. you should talk with your doctor about maybe switching to another med which doesnt have these side effects, there are a couple out there. good luck to you.
2006-10-16 13:20:57 · answer #5 · answered by Boop 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Damina and wild yam are good herbs for women..you will need to be careful and ask your doctor if they think it is safe to take with your medication. You could take it at different times, like close to nighttime.
Good luck!!
2006-10-16 13:25:18 · answer #6 · answered by daisy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See your doctor. If it's the drugs that are causing it, there might be alternatives that don't have this side effect.
2006-10-16 13:21:03 · answer #7 · answered by langdonrjones 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe switch your medication, I switched from Zoloft to Wellbutrin cause of that problem. I havent had any problems w/ Wellbutrin. :)
2006-10-16 13:22:39 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you could look into a better diet.......you'd be surprised at how our diet plays a key role in behavior. you can start by cutting out the junk food and starchy foods.....good luck.
2006-10-16 13:22:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to the Dr. and tell them your problems.
2006-10-16 13:20:31 · answer #10 · answered by salter 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋