Terrified of giving birth!?

Question

I am 26 years old & my fiance and I have talked alot about starting a family soon, but I'm terrified of the birth process (labor, etc). I've always wanted to be a mom and have children & I'm perfectly fine with pregnancy. But I am horrified about actually giving birth - i've heard nothing but terrifying stories about the pain. What can I do to get over my fear? I have no mother to ask and would really appreciate a response from those who have been there.
Thanks!

Answer 1

Honey, at the beginning of my first pregnancy I was terrified of givinig birth too. My mom was no help to me because her birth with me was a horror story.

I read a lot when I was pregnant. It helps to read positive stories. Do not read "what to expect while you're expecting"
Some good books to read are:
The Birth book by Sears and Sears
Childbirth without Fear by Grantly Dick-Read
Birthing From Within by Pam England
Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin
The complete book of pregnancy and Childbirth by Sheila Kitzinger.

I also took the Bradley method of childbirth classes when I was pregnant. It was totally worth it. At the end of the classes the fear that I had at the beginning of the pregnancy was gone. I amazed myself by giving birth naturally with no drugs. Afterwords I was so inspired by the birth of my daughter that I became a birth doula so that I could help other women also have positive births.

I am now pregnant with my second child and this one I plan to have at home with a midwife. I am at such a different place mentally as I was then.

Good luck to you. I know how it feels to be so afraid of childbirth that you may not even want to have children. I hope that you are able to read at least some of those books and take an empowering childbirth class. (The ones sponsored by hospitals are not that empowering. They teach you to do what you're told and not to question anything)

Answer 2

With my first child, I was terrified, BEYOND terrified. LOL. Watching movies and TV shows and the women are always screaming bloody murder like it's the worst most unimaginable pain to go through. It's painful, but once it's over, you forget about the pain. The closer I got to the end, the more I dreaded pushing the baby out. I kept thinking what would happen if I didn't push the baby out? Of course I was very young and didn't realize that you have that feeling like you have to push and if that doesn't work, emergency C-Section.
First baby was all natural, and it wasn't that bad. Considering I suffered 7 hours of labor in my house before I actually made it to the hospital.
Second baby was a C-Section, I'll take natural over that anyday, 13 years later and the scar still itches when it rains.
Third child, epidural, really light. The pains were less intense but I still felt the little twinges and cramps to let me know that my labor was progressing and I needed to push when it was time to push.
Fourth child, epidural, extremely heavy. I fell asleep. The Dr. woke me up and told me it was time to push. I told her I couldn't feel anything and that she would have to read the monitor and let me know when I had a contraction so I could push. No pain what so ever, but I had to wait for the feeling in my legs to come back.

Just remember that everyone's threshold for pain is different and not everyone has a horror story when it comes to giving birth.

Answer 3

Well, it's def an experiance but well worth the pain. It does hurt like a b*tch, I won't lie but once the baby comes out the pain goes away and all you can think about is the baby. You're heart melts and it's an incredible feeling. If women remembered how bad it really does hurt then no more kids would be born after the first one. You seriously forget what it feels like and don't think about it too much once the baby is there. I say go for it. I'm pregnant with my second baby and can't wait to have it because I know what it will be like right after labor. The emotions you experiance are amazing. Of course I'm not looking forward to the pain but at least there are meds they can give you to help with it. Try not to worry so much about the pain and such. Once that baby comes you'll be glad you did it. Good luck hun!

Answer 4

Most women are scared the first time around. But the journey of labor is only part of the process. Don't be terrified be knowlegable. Do your research and take really good Childbirth education classes, not just the ones the hospitals offer. Try not to watch to much Baby Story and that kind of thing it only makes you worry more. Just remember that your body was made to give birth and many woman before you have gone through this mirarcle and that is why we are all here. You are a strong woman trust in yourself and your body. Go on www.dona.org and look into about .com go to pregnacy and find the information you need to empower yourself. Good Luck And God Bless

Answer 5

I was 24 when I had my daughter Lilly. Like you I was sooooo scared of the laboring process, but honestly at the end of the 9th month there's nothing that you want more than to not be pregnant anymore. You're so uncomfortable and tired you just want it OVER!!! I was in hard labor for about an hour before I decided I needed the epidural, and Thank God for that option because it came to good use. Once the medicine took effect I felt NO pain whatsoever. I didn't even know when I was fully dialated because I felt nothing. I didn't even feel her coming out..., it was great. I recommend the epidural!!!! 100% And if you chose not to get the epidural, remember that one day of pain is worth a lifetime of happiness. Good Luck!!!!

Answer 6

Every woman is scared at some point, even if she felt prepared before she got pregnant. You can get an epidural or get drugged up, but I would highly reccomend hypnotherapy. This is a relaxation technique that allows you to reinterpret your ideas of labor and pain months before the birth. It will teach you skills to handle labor while staying calm and relaxed,which will cut down on the pain you will feel. It will help ease your mind and give you confidence,and no, you will not be hypnotized during the birth and unaware of what's going on. Also, you can still opt for drugs with this technique.
One woman described it as training for birth (usually you begin 3 or 4 months ahead of time). As she said, you don't show up for a marathon without training first, why do it for a birth?

Answer 7

It only human nature to be scared of the unknown , especially childbirth , during the pergnency, you will worry about everthing , especially who , or what he/she will look like , will you have a hard time , all sorts of questions , just remember it must not be all that bad , if it were , this world would not be as populated as it is , from the beginning til the end , it will scare or worry women for years to come , I have 4 beautiful daughters and i was absolutly petrefied every time i was pregnant , so it is normal, just let it happen , it is all good !
Does your husband feel the same way , is he supportive and as concerned as you are about your fears , if not , you really need to let him know, so he can help , when you first feel life and the movement , it is so awesome , you wont believe it , you start to not worry as much about things as much either . and the pain is a pain that will go away so fast , you dont actually dont remember the pain itself , but you do remember it hurt , but the happiness of the fruit you will bare , overcomes everything else ,

so please dont worry too much , it could keep you from conceiving when you decide to start your family .

best of luck , with your family plans and your worries , i assure you are all quite normal , AND PLEASE TRY NOT TO LISTEN TO ALL THE HORROR STORIES , !

Take Care ,

: ) LB
P S that is what God designed us for , and He knew what He was and is doing ,!

Answer 8

Just remember God only puts on your plate what you can handle, and I think that includes the pain of delivering. But once it is over, you will be so proud. With the epidural, the pain is alot less, so if they offer medication, take it. Don't let this keep you from one of the most exciting moments you will ever have in your life. Giving birth to your child will make you feel exhilirated. I can honestly say it was very bad pain ( i did not have an epidural) but it was worth every thing i went through. Good Luck!!

Answer 9

I was scared too but got pregnant anyway. I watched Birth Day on the Discovery Health channel every day so I would know what to expect. They cover a lot of different kinds of births so I knew a lot of the common situations that could happen. I felt a lot more prepared for the actual event when it came time.

The main thing to remember is that by the time you are 9 months pregnant, you are so sick of being pregnant and so uncomfortable that you are willing to do just about anything to get that baby OUT. Also, no matter how much it hurts, it is only temporary and you will get through it one way or another.

Answer 10

Cut and paste from one of my previous answers... It describes ways of helping make labor less painful etc... There is always going to be a certain amount of pain (pressure discomfort) associated with labor.... They wouldn't have called it LABOR if it wasn't work... But it also doesn't have to be scary, excruciating, and a horrible experience either...


While giving birth is painful it's not excruciating... And you will likely forget the pain very quickly as alot of it is masked by endorphines your body will produce during labor...

If it gets to be too much ask for a muscle relaxer/ pain killer.. Something to take the edge off... It's ok to want/ need pain assistance during labor.. Pain assistance can range from a muscle relaxer to epidural (spinal block)...

While labor isn't a stroll in the park it doesn't have to be 15 rounds with the heavy weight champion either..

There are exercizes you can begin doing now that will assist you in managing labor.. Kegels (pelvic floor exercise) The next time you go to the bathroom to pee try to stop peeing in the middle pay attention to what muscles you have to tighten to accomplish this... The tightening of those muscles is a kegel.. Once you understand which muscles to tighten try doing 10-20 2-3 times a day they will help build up the muscles you are going to be working during delivery... (Side benefit is to your sex life kegels tone vaginal muscles and you can learn to have very good control of those muscles something you can use for pleasure during sex for both you and your partner..)

Once you reach your 8th month do some perineal massage

http://www.childbirth.org/articles/massa...

It will prepare your perineum (the bit between your vaginal opening and anus) for the stretching it will be doing during delivery.. (It also feels pretty good especially if you can have your partner get involved in the massage)

Take a lamaze course and learn some relaxation, focal and breathing techniques... Remember you can change the techniques to fit your needs use what the class teaches as a guide not a cut in stone way... ( I use the general lamaze techniques but used a mental focus planning my dream vacation every detail, while in labor ,down to the color of the sheets and the color of the room at the luxury hotel....My mother-in-law was on hand to keep me focused on the planning by writing down all I said and reminding me where I was should a contraction throw my concentration slightly)... I know it sounds odd but it worked for me and you can use the Lamaze general techniques to do something that works for you...

Visit your local hospital they may have home videos of other deliveries in a library you can check some of them out and see how other womens labors went.. If the hospital does not have these they should be able to put you in contact with a lamaze instructor or someone else who does.... It's not the horror and stuff you see in the hollywood movies that is usually over dramatized...