My boyfriend has an ex-wife who at the moment is in jail. They have two girls together who are with him. They are 14 and 11. The ex is crazy and she plans on hurting me when she gets out and she won't leave him alone. She was the one who did drugs and cheated on him. What do I do to protect myself and the family?
2006-10-16 05:51:17 · 26 answers · asked by lakajunprincess 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I hate to say this... but this is NOT the man for you.
This woman will be in this man's life FOREVER because they have children together. There is no way to separate them. There is no way for any woman to live the life she wants with a man in this position. This is a war you cannot win.
You need to do the best thing for you and your family at this point. And that is to peacefully remove yourself from the situation. To cause any more drama would put you at further risk.
Don't you think you deserve a man who can singularly, devote himself to you - where you are the one and only woman in his life??? Of course you do!
He's out there waiting for you... now go find him! Good luck!!!
2006-10-16 06:00:30 · answer #1 · answered by DaBoomvang 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would move into a whole new area with him, if you are living together if not then i suggest that you both move and just do not tell her where you are living, if she is in jail she already lost all rights to the kids. Also just to be safe I would get both you and your boyfriend a restraining order. Good Luck, i know its hard im going through the whole crazy ex wife thing with my boyfriend to the lady is a druggie and alcoholic but shes a news reporter and is on t.v. in FL so its completely phsychotic that she is like that. Take care and keep you and your new family safe.
2006-10-16 05:57:14 · answer #2 · answered by Nezza 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
1st. comes love.. if you love him and live together, then 2 find peace of mind, move 2 another state.. 4 the safety of all involved.. the police can't babysit your house.. i would take her threats very seriously.. keep pepper spray handy.. easier said then done.. i would think he would have 2 notify the court, if leaving the state, with the children.. and the ex-wife, will have 2 have his new address.. hmm.. maybe getting a guard dog,, like a Rottweiler.. and take the dog with you, when you need 2 go out.. staying in the same town, would be like being a prisoner in your own home.. have security camera's set up outside.. won't stop a bullet tho.. hmm.. wish i did know the answer 4 you.. bummer eh.. keep us posted.. would cha...
2006-10-16 06:18:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well dont live with him till you are married. She could use that to say he is unfit... If you are with him and not married then you are being immoral. If she does or says anything threatening, make a police report. Let him deal with her. You keep your nose clean... dont stay at his house overnight unless you are Mrs So n So, and keep filing police reports, if she keeps threeatening you or whatever, she will go BACk to jail. You picked him, now you can deal with this issue. I personally would lay low a while and tell him if he really cares for you then you will know by his actions. Are you always the one chasing him? Does he go to your house? Are you like the pizza delivery boy only you AINT DELIVERING PIZZA? Worry about YOU and your goals and dreams... if he has goals and hopes and dreams that involve YOU then he will make sure you know it.
2006-10-16 05:57:21 · answer #4 · answered by Hillary Dillary 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since ther are kids involved this is tricky. I would say move somewhere she can't find you. But if moving is too much- then go to the police. If you are just dating... with no plans for the future- then don't go making decisions that involve you and him. I mean don't get your name on any of his legal papers. If you do plan to be in his life for a long time then take prompt legal action. Get a restraining order and tell the police what her plans are.
2006-10-16 05:55:26 · answer #5 · answered by JoHanna 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Get a restraining order, make sure those little girls are in a healthy loving enviroment, get a court order that she is only allowed supervised visitation and is not allowed near you or near your home. Good luck, get a lawyer today and contact cops today. It takes a while to get all this going.
2006-10-16 05:53:57 · answer #6 · answered by Barbara C 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you live in the USA, get an order of protection (you need to show proof of her threats) for yourself. Since you are not married to your bf and they are his children, not yours, he will have to take care of any protection order against his ex that covers his family. Good luck.
2006-10-16 06:06:29 · answer #7 · answered by kja63 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a restraining order if she has threatened you. If she shows up, have her arrested.
Does she have custody of the kids? Is the boyfriend willing to stand up for you?
Good luck.
2006-10-16 05:55:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask youself, is he really worth it? I was in a similar situation, but he had THREE kids & the drug using ex wife who kept threatening to take the girls & disappear, etc. It became crystal clear to me that I would always be last in his book. I decided that it totally wasn't worth it & I dumped him.
2006-10-16 06:04:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a restraining order against her and stay aware of your surroundings at all times. Don't be caught off guard. If you live in a state where it is legal to carry a weapon, get the proper documentation and weapon and keep it with you at all times(with proper safety measures of course). If it's not legal to carry a weapon in your state, take a self defense class and carry some mace or pepper spray. You won't be living in fear, you will be living prepared.
2006-10-16 05:56:07 · answer #10 · answered by eehco 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋