in a nut shell i didnt have a great childhood...i had the abcense of fatherly love....so as soon as a male showed me the littlest bit of love and attention i grabbed on to him and never let go...i feel like i used him as a crutch in the beginning to fill that missing space in my life...i am now still with the same guy going on 4 1/2 years...i know he loves me to death as do i love him....he has become much more then a crutch like it started.i put my all into our relationship and sometimes i feel he doesn't care as much as i do. I have been insecure forever, i guess since my stepfather has made me feel worthless since i can remeber back but i tend to take out my hurts of the past on my boyfriend. since i haven't been told how beautiful and special i am to someone until my bf came along, i think sometimes i dont believe it when he says it...i get very mad when i catch him with porn, or looking at other girls when im with him,i just feel that my confidence is killing us sometimes..help!!
2006-10-16 05:45:07 · 8 answers · asked by Life....it blows! 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
baby girl, this is hard. and the tough road ahead of you is harder. if you still looking for a father figure from you bf. you have to know how to treat and be treated by a male figure. your bf is your bf nothing more. don't look into him for a comfort that a father could give, it would destroy your relationship and leave you and him confuse of how to handle it. console with him only for a bf would need to be. you need to know for every situation calls for. it will be tough, it will force you to grow up faster, and be stronger.as far as catching him watching porn, yes, it's okay to disapprove of it. and you have to let him know it. there is more issues that you have to deal with. seek counseling to relieve some of your insecurities.
2006-10-16 05:57:10 · answer #1 · answered by harmony 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get professional help to deal with those issues. If you don't, he will get tired of it and leave you. Don't let it get to that point. You just may have your soulmate and can drive him away with insecurities. You can't depend on someone else for your happiness. If you can't be happy by yourself, you will never be happy with anyone. True happiness comes from within. A life partner is an accent to that.
2006-10-16 05:59:02 · answer #2 · answered by eehco 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as he tells you that you are beautiful and that he loves you, then it's time to let go of the past. If not, then not only will you ruin this relationship, but you'll also destroy all others. And it's time to get into therapy and stop blaming everyone else for your shortcomings. I find placing blame is unfair.
2006-10-16 05:50:01 · answer #3 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know how you feel am actually going through the same thing missing dad in my life as soon as i meet my partner of 3yrs i clung onto him i never like it when he gos to the gym cause theres woman there i also hate it when i catch him looking up porn to makes you feel uguly and worthless and makes you feel as though what the hell am i doing herebut i guess we have to learn to trust them more as we cant cling onto them forever other wise they will feel suffocated and will end up causing a rift between you but its obvious that you are scared incase u lose him like you lost your dad just talk to him he might supprise you that he will proberly never leave you if you just give him some breathing space goodluck.
2006-10-16 05:56:06 · answer #4 · answered by baby dust for me 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to love yourself. Love yourself first and then and only then will you be able to love anyone else. Move on from all the men that failed you. Do not think about that. So you think that if you do not love him enough he will leave. If you get to needy, love, he will. Relax. He loves you already. Just start to love yourself too.
2006-10-16 05:50:25 · answer #5 · answered by Osunwole Adeoyin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
properly first of all you gotta understand its thoroughly popular for somebody to get apprehensive approximately it I recommend he did cheat and thats reason sufficient to whats happening. i individually think of that the terrific way of doing so is to easily ask your self whether you have confidence him. in case you extremely do have confidence him then leave it on my own yet whilst no longer then purely attitude him and tel him the style you sense with regard to the situation. the factor of a courting is to be able to speak on your bf/gf approximately what youre feeling and artwork by way of it :-) If u or ne1 else want ne help on different issues u might email me and attempt my toughest that can assist you :-)
2016-10-02 08:48:46 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to a love shop together... or buy ur own porn and stare at other men if this is obvious to you ,,surely it will be to him,, at least there will be some conversation to be shared...more communication... when your all done with that go to movies and lo lit dinner out,,all the attention is on you hun
2006-10-16 05:56:32 · answer #7 · answered by debbi67 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need counseling. Go work on yourself. We have all had crappy childhoods, but get help, and get over it.
2006-10-16 05:48:51 · answer #8 · answered by Stasi 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋