Ok, I have lived with my boyfriend for about 1 month now and I love it. One problem. I have had a lot of problems with jobs and now that im pregnant it is harder to find a job cause no one wants to hire a preg. woman right? Dr appts., classes, and def sickness. So i havent worked and i havent brought in any money. he has been angry and i didnt get my check from my last job, they ****** me over and i cant get it. he is going to be SO mad and im scared he will make me leave. im tyring and i do other stuff like ALL the cooking cleaning laundry errands, and im ok with that. hes not. he has been on me about working and im stressin alot! doc said it wasnt good, its our first child and i want things to go well i feel im a burden to him and ever since i moved up here i have ****** things up...am i a burden, or is it all in my head? BE HONEST. Tell me what you think.
2006-10-16 05:41:16 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Ok heres the deal, as for elynns answer, i didnt plan this, i was on bc. and im not looking for a free ride, i am trying, but if you havent been preg, then you dont know.
2006-10-16 06:04:31 · update #1
Honestly. Having a child is not easy and finding a job while pregnant is very hard. I dont know how serious your relationship is but if he loves he will not think of you as a burden. When a man is provider and all the money comes in through him, he will feel like all the weight and pressure is on him. It isnt your fault it is a guy thing. He probably just wants everything to workout ok and that can make a man frustrated and sometimes angry. You really should talk to him and give him assurance if that is what he is looking for. If he loves you then he will not consider you a burden. I would not personally. And dont stress yourself remember no matter what he thinks you are still pregnant.
2006-10-16 05:53:51 · answer #1 · answered by joh_nathon 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look your just trippin because this is your first child. you need to work just a part time job, something expendible that you can let go freely if you need to. Part of being a good mom is making sure you can take care of this child by yourself cause if hes just trippin over little stuff you may have to do this. And if you think your stressed try thinking of how he feels with only one income to support you and the baby. Don't use your pregnancy as an excuse not to work, use it as a kickstart in the *** there are plenty of people that will hire pregnant women and you can ask your local health department for some resources. My first pregnancy I was left holding the bag I found a job and went to school to be a better parent.
2006-10-16 05:54:41 · answer #2 · answered by stephanie m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I can understand why you feel the way you do but at the same time you did not make that baby all by your lonesome so he has to take on some more responsibility because your body cannot do the same things that you did before you got pregnant. Even if you already had a job before you got pregnant, there would definitely come a time that you could not work anymore and he would still have to pick up the slack so really its not your fault and you must stop stressing it could mean life or death for you and your baby. Good Luck.
2006-10-16 05:47:36 · answer #3 · answered by blessedbytheluvofjah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its both of your "faults"(not in a bad way) that you are pregnant.... He cant be mad at you for that. He cant expect you to be able to get a job while pregnant either ....because people dont want to hire someone like you said who is goign to be geting sick..and taking leave and stuff. If he is going to make you leave and be mad at you for that then honestly he isnt worth it. He is prob just stressed... TEll him this though.....When a woman is pregnant... If she becomes overally stressed/anxious/depressed..it puts the baby in danger because the body starts to think that that "foreign object" in the body is the source of your anguish..usually ending up with birth problems or miscarraiges. Let him know how you feel and let him know that theres nothing you can do about getting a job really. Unless maybe you find some odd type jobs to do that dont include physical labor.(maybe you can get a short term job delivering something?) Anyways pretty much you have to make sure he stops stressing you out or the baby might be in danger
2006-10-16 05:47:42 · answer #4 · answered by swyftsilver84 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off relax, second watch your mouth, foul language never got anyone hired. Businesses can't discriminate against you for being pregnant, and if you have a paycheck coming to you and the place is with-holding you have a law suit against them. If you have a while to go with your pregnancy you could look at a temp job in retail. There are also a lot of support programs out there, just get on-line and do some research. You also need to look at his behavior, maybe living with him will make you see that he isn't the right person for you if he can't show you the support you need... Good luck with everything!!
2006-10-16 05:46:44 · answer #5 · answered by akelaamy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should support you no matter what. When I found out I was pregnant, I was working and going to school. I had to quit both because I was high risk. My husband supported me all the way. Never bitched about a thing. The twins are 21 months old now and he doesn't want me to work because he wants me to take care of them myself instead of a daycare. I would love to go back to work. He said when they get old enough....like maybe 21....lol. I feel so bad because I'm not bringing in any money. He says that I have the most important job, taking care of the babies and the house. So do you. Taking care of his unborn child.
2006-10-16 06:07:31 · answer #6 · answered by Donna 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is all in your head. If you are trying to find a job and can't that is not your fault. I think carrying his child and cleaning up the house and stuff is a job. He is being an a$$hole and if he kicks you out then he will kicking out his baby. That will also show that he doesn't love you or yall's baby like you think he does. He is sounding sort of mentally abusive anyway, you may want to see about getting you and your baby out now, before he gets worse, or the baby gets brought into it. Babies can sense stress and they don't deserve to grow up like that. Good luck and congrats on the baby.
2006-10-16 05:56:30 · answer #7 · answered by la_southern_femme 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His baby ? Tell him to get a second job.. and a book on parenting.. he has 8 months,,, get over the job for you..and don't put you or your baby in any other stress.. If the company owes you money for time worked ,,you need to read your laws and recover those..
There are many mom's groups through churches..FREE
go and take a class so you don't feel alone if your networking is lacking support You should be getting excited of every phase of development of your baby ,, involve each other Take a prenatal class.. call it date night ..whatever works
2006-10-16 05:50:43 · answer #8 · answered by debbi67 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should work while you are pregnant. It will be good for you both self esteem and physically. Being pregnant is not like being sick at all, unless you are having problems. I can't believe that your Dr. is against you working. I agree with your boyfriend. Get a job.
Did he(boyfriend) want you to get pregnant? I bet not. There is all kinds of birth control available, why did you want to get pregnant this soon. Your boyfriend probly wanted to wait awhile before starting a family. Maybe he is stressed out a little about that. Maybe you should put yourself in shoes for awhile. Seems like you are looking for a free-ride maybe?
2006-10-16 05:50:07 · answer #9 · answered by Ellyn 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He is obviously worried about being able to support both you and your child.
You could try getting a job in a call centre maybe, where people never stay very long.
Or think of some work that is seasonal - Christmas is coming, there must be some work related to that.
There are lots of agencies who supply temporary workers - try those.
Or maybe look for a babysitting/nanny job.
I think you are right to be concerned, but try to not let it get you down.
Good luck.
2006-10-16 05:49:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋