my life long mate or wife has been having way to many self pity parties for and about herself, time for this to end, we have been going thru some ups and down for the last 3 years, now she wants everybody to, feel sorry for her, almost on a daily basis, gotten to point sometimes dont want to be around,same ole stuff all the time, maybe just worded different, any advice would be most helpfull
2006-10-16 05:33:49 · 15 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Maybe you should look back and see exactly what has been happening between the two of you that could be causing her to feel sorry for her self? You have to realize that whatever ups & downs that the two of you have it is just as much your fault as it is hers.That is probaly the reason why she is on the pity pot. It would be best if you would talk with her and find out exactly what it is that is bothering her and stand by her and give her your love & support.
Good Luck!
2006-10-16 07:24:50 · answer #1 · answered by bigred 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Been through this with a guy I was dating who had Bipolar...He was so wrapped up within himself that any support or help seemed more like fuel to keep him going on his "pity party" and never produced change just pretty much sucked the helper in further to his "poor me" lifestyle. One day I just got sick of it and told him that I am sick of him feeling sorry for himself all of the time and that if he wanted to change, to do it instead of complaining about how bad things are. Well he's still like that and I had to leave him but it did get him to go back on meds and go to counseling so I guess it did do some good. I mean my advice would be to be very blunt about her actions and call her out on them but in a manner that wont upset her, if that makes sense. Sometimes the best policy is brutal honesty because that can be the best medicine to combat people like this...Good luck:)
2006-10-16 05:49:30 · answer #2 · answered by serenity113001 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Possible she's not getting positive attention that she craves. Or, she's just likes attention. Don't go to her pity parties - it just reinforces bad behavior. When you quit banging your head on a brick wall, the pain stops. Don't give into her pity parties. It's like a baby crying all the time - if you fly to see why the baby is crying and there are no obvious reasons for the baby to be crying, let it go. Quit running to check every time the "baby" cries. Eventually, they learn that they will no longer get a response and the crying will stop. Hope that is helpful.
2006-10-16 05:41:05 · answer #3 · answered by Cupcake 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take her to an internal medicines doctor and get her diagnosed with depression. He can immediately start her on some meds to assist and then refer her to a therapist who she will have to see only once every few months possibly just once a year. This should help. Convince her that what she is doing isn't working and it's time to try something new. It would benefit the family.
Depression affects everyone in the family.
2006-10-16 06:37:32 · answer #4 · answered by kane 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she has a good reason to feel miserable, or maybe she is happy being unhappy. If that's the case, let her be unhappy. If she is really miserable for a good reason, then, as her mate, you have the obligation to communicate with her and find out what's really going on. I suspect she enjoys bathing in self pity.
2006-10-16 05:38:13 · answer #5 · answered by heyrobo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the severity of it. My wife used to give me the "why me" attitude like the world was against her. The more I tried to paint a rose picture the worse she got. So I figured that wasn't working so I did something else. Now when she gets the "why me attitude" I respond with because "you asked for it". I get her nice a pissed off with me with a smile on my face. Its the same thing I would do to any "guy" friend. I pick on her like anyone else. Its seems to snap her our of taking life too seriously.
Remember no one gets out alive, so its up to you to stress about it or enjoy it. The same goes for your wife.
2006-10-16 05:49:52 · answer #6 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is just looking for attention, and most of the time they do not tell the whole story. I don't know why they do that for, it seems like every woman that I have met does that. I have just learned how to ignore it and go on with my business.
2006-10-16 05:37:29 · answer #7 · answered by lifescircle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think about 1/4 of the women in the world are Bi-Polar.
2006-10-16 05:53:15 · answer #8 · answered by BORED AT WORK 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Set your obstacles. If he would not appreciate them, you may ought to discover yet another important different or take him to court docket (which will nonetheless in all probability bring about looking yet another corporation important different). you ought to make it clean that his habit is undesirable and unprofessional and is turning out to be a detrimental paintings environment that could bring about an end to the paintings dating.
2016-10-16 06:25:14 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let people feel sorry for her, they're not the ones that have to live with her. They'll get sick of hearing it just like you are.
2006-10-16 05:40:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋