Why is it when you are going through a divorce as a result of your husband having an affair people are sympathetic and supportive. Then as soon as the divorce is final and you try and establish some sort of relationship with your ex for your kids sake people start looking at you as the bitter ex wife? People assume you are still trying to control his life when all you want to do is make sure your kids are okay. It is so frustrating and unfair!
What is the right amount of contact with your ex? I contact my ex only when I have to discuss things about our kids. But some weeks that can be often if there are things going on in school, sports, etc. Should I even worry about it and just focus on my children? How do you deal with your ex?
2006-10-16 05:18:21 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This situation is between you and your ex, other people have no say in this matter. And anyway why do/should you care about what others think or feel about what you are doing anyway? This is none of their business. You are doing what a mother that is divorced from her children's father is suppose to do.Your children's lives is the main issue here not what does or does not matter to others!
Good Luck!
2006-10-16 08:09:28 · answer #1 · answered by bigred 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think a lot depends on the two of you, and on the kids. Forget what "people" say. If you have truly moved on, and have stuff going on in your life, it doesn't matter, and they will stop saying it in time. I don't know what the "right" amount of contact is. If both of you are on good terms, and are equally involved in your kids' lives, I can see how you might have more contact than a couple where dad is 2000 miles away, and is hardly involved at all. Perhaps, "people" are picking up on the fact that you can't let go; I don't know if this is true or not in your particular case, but you may just seem needy without even realizing it. Either way... focusing on the kids is not a bad idea; but don't forget to focus on yourself every once in a while. Good luck!
2006-10-16 12:29:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who cares what others think about your situation. You know that what you are doing is best for the kids and that is all that matters. You have to keep the lines of communication open with their father and it is important that you guys get along. I say good work! So many people now days don't put their children's best intrest first.
2006-10-16 12:39:09 · answer #3 · answered by Jewells 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's my take from past experince.....only get in contact with the ex when there are major issues. Let the kids call their dad to let him know about school issues....such as sporting events, plays, etc. If he really wanted to know what was going on in his kids lifes, HE'D be the one calling to find out. I have a current boyfriend, who's kids are grown, and i resent any contact with the ex about the kids, if he wanted to find out about the kids, he should call them, not have her call and relay messages. That contact to me is unhealthy towards "moving on". Remain friends if possible, but you keep your contact with him to a bare minimal. Get the kids to call dad and let him know about things he might want to share in their lives.
2006-10-16 12:27:47 · answer #4 · answered by foxxy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life goes on. He is just an ex. Ignore him except when discussing children and things related thereto. Move on with your life and stay out of his; make sure he stays out of yours, too. Time will soften the edges and life will go on.
2006-10-16 12:30:30 · answer #5 · answered by acmeraven 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just focus on your children. Never mind him...he had his chance to do it right the first time. More than that, focus on yourself, your family, friends and keeping your eyes open for a new relationship.
I dearly hope you are taking him for a ride on the child-support-go-round?
2006-10-16 12:35:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When my parents got divorced my mom went through something similar. She finally just left it alone. Dad would call when he wanted something or if he wanted an update. If he wants anything to do with his kids... he is a big boy... and he will call.... its his responsibility. Don't worry about it. If you think its important... call him... if not...drop it and support your kids... thats what being a good parent is all about anyways... I would support that one!!
2006-10-16 12:25:59 · answer #7 · answered by Myria 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
the way u r dealing is right.don't care of unneccessary comments.instead of advicing u they comment.
2006-10-16 12:41:43 · answer #8 · answered by silly 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i agree w/ Rebel Gal, the h*e*l*l with what others think!
its YOUR life, not theirs and you do as you see fit for YOURfamily
you go girl!
2006-10-16 12:30:16 · answer #9 · answered by jelli_bean_36 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know its over, he knows its over, the kids know its over....Call him as much as you need. Hell, discuss it with him. IF he doesn't feel you call too much about insignificant things, then don't worry and f.u.c.k. all those other people.
2006-10-16 12:25:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋