And I'm going to have a baby (our second) for two months.
I'm 100% sure he's cheating on me.
I'm confused,I hate him and her.They both betrayed me.
What should I do?
2006-10-16 05:15:51 · 80 answers · asked by Madelain M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
leave his cheatin a** you and your kids don't need that a** hole. Think about your kids. They need a better father in their life and you need someone better to.Good Luck!
2006-10-16 05:19:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
well you could try and Respect him. Without fail this is the number one thing that men need and want from their wives.
Remind him everyday as to why he married you. In other words, take time to make him feel special as if he's the only one in your life. This is especially true if you have children.
Validate your husband on a daily basis. Whether he works outside of the house or is a stay at home Dad, your husband still needs to feel like a man. You know he is, make sure he knows it as well. Appreciate all the things he does for you. It doesn't matter whether those things are big or small, they are worth, at the least, a thank you.
Spice it up every once in a while. Tell him your fantasies, listen to his. Don't be afraid to experiment.
Laugh. Laugh often, but not AT Him, with him. Tell him a joke that you think he might like, clip out comics from the newspaper and place them on the fridge.
Listen first, and then talk. Let him finish what he has to say before you interrupt. Ask questions if you're not sure about what he said.
Patience is the key. Your husband may not respond immediately to any of these techniques right away as change is difficult to both acknowledge and accept, eventually though, he will come around.
Think before you gripe. What you may perceive as venting, just may come across as bitching to him which may cause him not to listen when you have a real complaint.
Apologize with caution. Most (not all) women have a tendency to overapologize. If this is you, don't say sorry unless you really did something wrong.
Everything above is pretty much unnecessary because no matter what you do if the person is going to cheat they will cheat. Yes there may be problem areas in your relationship that contribute but remember that solving relationship problems goes both ways and does not fall entirely on the woman.
The only thing that will 100% keep someone from cheating is knowing that he will be caught. And, when he is caught, he will pay a price he is unwilling to pay. This is actually pretty much the same with any illicit activity.
GOOD LUCK 2 U!!
2006-10-16 05:23:06 · answer #2 · answered by saiyuki c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him honey, just because you will soon have 2 kids doesn't mean you have to put up with treatment like that from either of them.
Many women are single parents of more than 2 kids & cope very well.
I would pack his stuff when he's at hers and get a taxi to go to hers and deliver his clothes.
If that woman wants him so much she would betray her best friend then let her have him believe me that will be a good punishment.
It's more than likely not the first time he's cheated and it wont be the last, she'll find that out soon enough.
Try not to be too wound up over this it isn't good for the baby.
You're better off without him and her after all they can't care about your feelings that much or they'd never have betrayed you like this.
2006-10-16 05:26:57 · answer #3 · answered by madamspud 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Poor woman! Only you can decide what to do. It looks like your best friend isn't your best friend after all and I would definitely have a talk with her, if you think it helps, otherwise just stop communicating with her if you think that will be better for you.
As for your husband. I don't know you situation or how strong your relationship with him was before this affair started. Do you think you could ever forgive him? I know everyone says once a cheater, always a cheater but we are all different individuals and what is acceptible for some is not for others.
One thing you must do is talk to your husband about this. You have the children to think about and I know it can't be easy for a pregnant woman to be alone but if you have real friends and family around who can help you, you might be better off on your own.
If you feel you might want to try to work things out, you and your husband will need some therapy and lots and lots of time to build up trust again.
Good luck to you whatever you decide to do.
2006-10-16 05:24:48 · answer #4 · answered by IC 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really don't have a choice here. You leave. These people are disgusting and don't deserve your friendship or love.
If this man would cheat on you while you're carrying his child, then he's really a lowlife. There's no excuse in this world for his behavior, and no way he can redeem himself. He obviously is more concerned with his own short term pleasure than your love, your future and your own children. This is not a man you want leading your family during the next several decades. Don't you think you deserve better? Don't your kids??
I hope you get mad soon. The anger should guide you toward the right decision.
2006-10-16 05:22:07 · answer #5 · answered by KerryAnn67 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before you do anything rash make sure 100% he is cheating on you. I don't know either of you but if you are pregnant your hormones and emotions will be all over the place. It is a natural occurance for pregnancy. It may be he is talking to her slightly more for a number of reasons. One may be he finds it difficult to speak to you at the moment as he does not understand howyou feel.
I would certainly think long and hard before I took the next step what ever you decide. good luck and with the baby also
2006-10-16 05:21:52 · answer #6 · answered by philipscottbrooks 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing to do is to 100% verify this. If it's true, the next steps are safety for you and the little ones in your care. You have some tough decisions ahead of you, get help from friends, family, outside agencies etc. You and your kid's safety is the most important issue right now, the other stuff can be dealt with as needed. Good luck, don't delay!
2006-10-16 05:20:07 · answer #7 · answered by ron k 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes they both betrayed you. NOW PICK YOURSELF UP BY YA BOOTSTRAPS !!! and think of the kids!!!
They need a Dad but they don't need a Deadbeat Dad who jeopordizes the family and does not think of them!
Time to get over it and eliminate those two from your life.... and promise yourself to never again attract dishonest un-trustable people into your life. Re-tune your people intuition indicator with the painful wisdom you are now learning.
Get everything you can including child support and "kick im out" luv! You've got to stay "happy" for the baby's sake...
Tell her if you see her again you'll "knock er in the ed with a fryin pan"
Let some time pass by and never, never say yes to his lying face again, then start looking for a man who likes your kids..... before you. (good luck).
Or send "im off" to counseling and you can live day in and ady out with mistrust, wounds and always wonderin if he's gone back to her....
He's really called the shots by such drastic actions.
God Bless (the kids too) and Good Luck
2006-10-16 05:32:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Poor you.
Tell him you know (don't ask him, tell him), tell him to get out.
I say this because it may put the frighteners on him to stop and also it's easier for him to continue the affair and have you at home. It may make him appreciate you more if he has the freedom to do what he thinks he needs to do only to find out it's not so nice out there. If he doesn't come back then I believe it would have been a matter of time... I hope things end well for you.
2006-10-16 05:21:42 · answer #9 · answered by Empea 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look this may be your second child so your relationship should be stronger, but considering that he has cheated on you with your best friend you need to confront both of them.
You should ask your self if you love him and wanna be with him (take in consideration your kids). Remember you are gonna have to forgive him, if his willing to come back.
If that does not work ask for a divorce and get him to pay child support. Don't forget that you might want to keep him in you life for your kids.
Most men would not want to pay child support, so he might wanna come back. My advice for that would be for you to make him sing a contarct of fidelity.
This process is hard and might end up hearting alot, but be strong and dont give up, think about your kids, not only you.
2006-10-16 05:24:21 · answer #10 · answered by angelica 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get all the evidence you can then file for seperation. You don't have to divorce him if he changes but if he doesn't you have no other choice because he will make your life miserable.
I had a boss who got angery if he found out that anyone was cheating on their partner because he cheated on his wife and still suffering the guilt many years on.
As for your best friend. She was never your friend because if she was she would never have had an afair with your husband.
2006-10-16 06:12:27 · answer #11 · answered by John T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋