ive had an affair on my husband and told him about it . he still wants to make things work the person i had an affair with was just someone that makes my life even more crazy nothing there nothing that can become of it. hes =involved also ive told myself this last time was it no more i cant do this . ive never been unfaithful to my husband i dont know what happen to me . im truly bored with my marriage that for sure but still i cant understand what i did and why i did what i did.
2006-10-16 04:36:59 · 18 answers · asked by simone3_2000 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your husband sounds like a good man whom you are taking for granted. You may be in some sort of depression. See an internal meds doctor. Get tested for hormone imbalances and maybe depression meds too. Get counseling. Maybe you are a sex addict. Usually we think only of men being that way but many women are too. Otherwise, divorce your husband and free him up to move on with his life. If you really can't stand the idea of doing that then you need to change your ways and remember you are an adult not a horny teen who can excercise self-control.
Whatever problems you had with your marriage before you just compounded by stepping into another man's bed. Think of the indignity of it for your husband. How do you think he feels knowing that another man has been somewhere that was supposed to be only for him. How would you feel if he were to be with other women? If you like that idea you may be more of a sex addict than you think. There is help available but you have to take the first step to get it.
2006-10-16 05:03:49 · answer #1 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can totally understand what you are going through, i am in the same boat only difference is that i have't told my husband because i cannot leave him as i have got a little one and also he is a very nice person and i still love him. My bf is on the other side of the world does know everything about me and still loves.
The question that comes to my mind is why do i need to leave my husband just because we have had ups and downs....it does not work like that like others say grass is always green on other side. I have never met my bf at all i know him from last 4 yrs.
Well i think i will always love him and treat him as a frinnd and make my marriage work as that is the only think that will make others happy and specially my little one.
Be wise and think carefully before you take any step as there is other life connected to you..
good luck!
2006-10-16 04:45:11 · answer #2 · answered by sim 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Being bored with your relationship isn't a good reason to cheat. You two should go to marriage counseling and try to save your marriage. Also, you should look into sex therapy if you think you are unable to stop yourself from doing this in the future. If you are truly unhappy, and there is no hope for your marriage, get a divorce.
2006-10-16 04:41:18 · answer #3 · answered by jagerchick80 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are bored or unhappy with your marriage you should have gotten a divorce long before you had an affair. Then at least you could save face instead of being two faced. I have no sympathy whatsoever for anyone who cheats. If you are looking for help easing your conscience you won't find it here
2006-10-16 04:43:30 · answer #4 · answered by Wiccan Woman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just said it. "Your bored"!! But, that doesnt validate the act of going out there and sleeping with anyone.
People cheat for various reasons. I slept around on my wife because I was tired of harboring all of the responsibility of the household. I had it set in my mind, "If I have to work hard, then I'll play hard...."
I thought that it would give me pleasure, but it didnt because I love my wife. I still love her. I just felt that it was unfair to me that I had to take on the role that I had.
Anyway, you two should seek out counseling. Cheating is serious business because it touches on that "Trust" issue. He now has a right to question every late night at work, every "Birthday party" that you'll go to by yourself, every phone call you take.......
Its just bad. Talk it out with him, and seek out counseling first of all. Being honest with yourself and making sure that boredom was the main reason why you cheated on him is the second thing you should do.
Marriages can be boring. Hell, if I wasnt bored, I wouldnt be on here. They say relationships are work. Maybe this is the avenue that you two need to travel down when it comes to boredom.
I've researched on-line and it was suggested that a couple should get involved in activities that are short term goal setting oriented. Set aside at least one weekend a month to get involved in some kind of activity that will provide tasks for each of you to reach a certain goal by Sunday night. If your creative enough, you'll find something for you two to do that will bring that "Spark" back.
Gudluk!
2006-10-16 04:48:57 · answer #5 · answered by diaz276 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
sad thing but women seem to seek the things their husband lacks. Even worse is that they settle for sex rather than what they are missing due to the fact men are scum and that's all they want.Any time you have a problem in your marriage, the last thing you need is a 3rd or 4th party to complicate things
2006-10-16 04:43:18 · answer #6 · answered by Mr nice guy 2U 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you have to forgive yourself. you have to have inner happiness in order to have it anywhere else. I hear this all the time but don't ask me how. I think you feel something is missing in your life. most likely the excitement the romance. bring it back, get a babysitter once a month and go on a "date" with your husband. play pool, go to a movie shoot go parking and make out in the car. but first work on forgiving yourself. as i always advise perhaps counsling.
2006-10-16 04:45:43 · answer #7 · answered by wendy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you said it yourself: you are bored. You need to communicate with your husband about whatever problems you feel are going on in your marriage.
Your are lucky he has forgiven you. But remember, he will never forget.
2006-10-16 04:39:45 · answer #8 · answered by JC 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe it's time for you to move on but hun let me tell you,you need to leave the married or involved ones alone,just because you have problems with your life doesn't mean it's ok for you to screw up other peoples lives.
2006-10-16 04:46:55 · answer #9 · answered by ///\oo/\\\ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are bored? then work on the issues with your marriage, but also within yourself. go and get counseling to help you figure out why you did it. and remeber marriage is work, and you both have to be committed to it.
2006-10-16 04:39:03 · answer #10 · answered by moluvsmark 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋