My divorce becomes final today.?

Question

Can you make me feel better before I fall helplessly into the deepest pits of hell?

Answer 1

Hi!
Divorce is not a good think to happen in anyones life, how ever bad the marriage is divorce does makes one sad. Sad because we all walk into a marriage with our dreams, emotions, aspirations and love but when it breaks down we break from within. We feel why me? We all get carried away with what the media teaches us about marriage, no one says how hard it is to work in a relationship, and what qualities go into a successful marriage.
But now that you know what does not work you could be your own knowledge and a source of help to someone. See you have a pearl with in now!
You are part of the decision which means you have a lot of courage to change what is not working. You did it, and you surely stand a role model for those who do not want to face reality and live in delusional world. You are sure how you like to be treated, you do have a good self esteem hence you very well knew what you want, your self awareness is high.
This is infact an experience where you come out clean. Spend time in finding out what you would like to do now that you are divorced. You cannot solve future problems with a mind that created the problem, hence upgrade you way of thinking, the world is waiting for you to have what you want , People think love is everything in the world but they forget that beyond love there is something we all seek and that is freedom, even in love if there is no freedom love goes down the drain.
Make the best use of the freedom by knowing yourself better, love yourself so you understand what real love is.Love is a state of being, YOU are meant to be happy, this is your life, the shy is yours sore high!

Answer 2

Have a party and celebrate the first day of the rest of your life. Don't dwell on it. Things will get better I know I've been there. Make a resolve to start anew, you CAN and WILL cope. Be independant you are strong enough. when the day comes that you meet someone new make sure you are together because you want to be not because you need to be. A whole new world will open up to you and you will be happy. In the meantime keep busy and remember in 6months all the pain and hurt will be gone. Good luck.

Answer 3

Good for you!! if you're sure it's what you want. my ex and I were together11 years: the first 8 1/2-9 or so were wonderful, with two daughters 16 months apart, but then things fell apart, partly, i think, from my having to move toa night shift. the first 2 weeks appx. after deciding to get divorced wer hell, and we were together one day for some reason at a 7-11 (remember those?) arguing louder and louder, and all of a sudden we both stopped, left to go back home, (we were still living under the same roof) and from that moment things got better.(I"m giving you this 'divorcealoge 'as I think something frm my experience may seem familiar, and maybe help'. sorry about all the words) from that point in time we acted like adults (the girls were only 2 and 3 1/2). We were able thus as time went by to talk about when one of the girls was having a problem , or whatever. basically, our focus, actually unsaid outloud, yet understood by both, became making sure we presented a united parenting front to the girls, and I am happy to say that although she is now on husband #3, she has 2 children by him and they, it looks like are going to be ok. this was important, because he had to act as a 'stepfather'(she got the weeks, I got weekends) aand as husband #2 was not fit for this, I was actually glad to see it worked, as he by his presence, had an effect on the kids. I am happy to say,that both girls got married, and have 3 children between them, and a fourth on the way. This may not have turned out as well, had we been at each other's throats from the start, as some divorces go. Now there were times I had to bite my tongue, and I'm shur she hers, but we now have holidays together,(her house is more centrally located, and larger for family get-together, I have a standing invite to drop by anytime, (this was more important when the girls still lived mostly there), but there was no fighting, we would get together, oh, for instance, for graduations, proms, meeting the fiancee's, etc. I just cannot stress how badly this might have gone had we not acted like adults, and actually over time, become good friends. (one more ' for instance' and that's it, I promise) I had a seizure when the girls were in their mid-teens. I got better, and they asked, and there mom gave them permission to set up a 'living quarters' downstairs at my ex's house, for a few months, to make sure and keep an eye on me as I recovered (at the time, i lived alone, and all involved thought it best that at least for a while, I should not be alone) a nise couch to sleep on, use of the whole house actually , to cook, shower, and hang out with them until I got better. I have heard horror tales from some who did not get along, and I am VERY happy to hear that you two do. that will make things so much easier, trust me on this. agail, sorry about the length, but I could se no way to tell you my story without 'telling you my storry' Again, Good luck, but my advice to you would be to kep the relationship in as good a shape as possible. -dj

Answer 4

Okay, it is obvious that you are not the one that wanted this divorce. The only best help is a friend. Take a friend along with you that really hates your husband. It will hurt like hell, and if he has another woman there with him, ohh man...but I tell you over time it will get better, but the best thing is to take a friend...preferrably male, females seem to bond with them more in the time of tragety. After the divorce court time is over, go and grab some ice cream...believe it or not, it actually calms the stomach.

Answer 5

It gets better - please believe me.
It takes awhile, but you get on with your life and struggle for a little while and you learn to learn from your mistakes and be a better person for it.
I have been divorced (and lost everything ) twice and I am a much wiser person because of it. I didn't give up hope and I am doing better than I ever have in life for many reasons.
Change is against our nature and we find it very difficult to have to break free from our daily rituals and practices - but once you do you will find a whole new way to approach your life and everything around you. In a way - it's like taking off a blindfold and actually being able to see everything around you.
My best wishes in your new endeavors !

Answer 6

Well i'm happy for you, Think of it as a new start
Don't be afraid to fall in the pits of hell, from hereon after it going to be great.

Like the song say Always look on the bright side of life.

Answer 7

Unfortunately, you will have to go through the grieving process hon. Just know that it will get better and in the time to come you will probably be glad that it did. Use this time to take care of yourself and to enjoy the freedom of it before becoming involved again. Learn from your experience and try not to replicate them by getting involved with the same sort of individual.

Answer 8

Today can be a defining moment for you in your life. The way you choose to deal with your divorce is completely up to you. Keep one thing in mind,be wise in the paths you choose for your life from this point on and I promise you will find a happiness you did not have when you were married.

Answer 9

Watch a nice romantic movie and cry your eyes out. It's okay to be sad about it. Then take a shower, get dressed up, and go out with your friends. You don't have to celebrate, but just being around people who care about you will help you feel better.

Answer 10

Lets laugh and jiggle. Get with a support group with a local church or group. It is not the end. Only the beginning of the rest of your life.