I know a guy that frequently gets beaten up by his wife. He comes into work with black eyes etc. Has anyone else come across this before?
2006-10-16 03:47:37 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
hi, i work with people who suffer severe domestic violence-he really needs to get out of that situation, i know it will be extremely difficult for him-and maybe frightening but he will have to leave. are there any other factors involved-alcohol, drugs or children. if there ar children involved, this makes it a very difficult situation and they will be witnessing this, possibly getting involved in the middle!
if he loves her, she will need to get some help and support-maybe she had a horrendous childhood and it is learnt behaviour or if there is alcohol, drugs or mental health issues-you really need to advise your friend to see his GP regarding support either for himself or if they stay together for both of them. there are other agencies such as woman's aid who can direct you on the right path.
i often find it is better for the partners to split up and live separate-both of them getting support and help alone and then possibly reunification.let me know how you get on
good luck
2006-10-16 03:57:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Not only have I come across it I have been a victim of it. Everyone hears about the beaten wife but if it's the beaten husband everybody makes a joke out of it and calls him a wimp. Point is, when a man is attacked by a woman and he defends himself he then becomes the aggressor whereas if he does nothing then he is a wimp. A no win situation really isn't it.
2006-10-16 03:51:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes. It is very awkward for the man involved because his situation is so humiliating and he is afraid of being mocked by his friends and those around him. Woman can be very spiteful and cunning in their attacks and are adept in taking the man totally by surprise.
I remember one case where the man got to the end of his tether and called the police. The wife was arrested and granted bail by the court on conditions which included her living at some distance away from the family. The poor husband felt that he had been thrown from the frying pan into the fire. He had to take total charge of the children, which involved comforting them for their mother's absence, getting them to and from school at hours which conflicted totally with the demands of his job (the wife was a teacher, which made things so much easier) and somehow or other explaining his wife's absence to all manner of curious onlookers. At a time when he so desperately needed sympathy and support, it was hard to get any.
I suspect that there is far more of this about than people are prepared to admit .
2006-10-16 04:11:04 · answer #3 · answered by Doethineb 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yeah my big cuz was married to a husband beater an he never told anybody cause he was embarrassed about it. My advice would be to speak to the guy, let him know he is not alone with this an be there for him to talk to if he needs to. And try to let him know he could do better than that and he does not deserve to be treated like that. Zero tolerence for both sexes.
2006-10-16 05:19:19 · answer #4 · answered by krazykazza34 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I didn't say anything to anyone in the '70s,it was not "the done thing" to say anything,i would have been laughed at.There was no help back then,but glad to say now there is.30yrs ago now and i still think of "things" that happened,but the fear lessens over time for me.Big up to all the guy's out there that do not put up with it now--and to the guy's who suffer in silence?-there IS help out there for you,and you will not be laughed at.
2006-10-16 11:22:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know of two men who were attacked by their girlfriend/wife.
One was only mild, one needed hospital treatment. The girlfriend of the poor chap who was badly hurt was lucky he is a of mild temper as someone a little quicker to hit back would have given her a good hiding, and rightly so.
A women who attacks a man wants to keep in mind he will almost undoubtedly have twice the upper body strength of the "lady" and if he snaps could cause her great injury with a couple of blows.
Don't be a bully ladies, we (as a rule) don't bully you.
2006-10-16 03:56:45 · answer #6 · answered by iusedtolooklikemyavatar 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yep there was a man who used to live by us who got beat up all the time by his wife. Shes in prison for it now and he campaigns against it. It happens more thn we think it does its just we acknowledge women getting beat up by there partners more than the blokes and its not fair we really need to except it and try to put a stop to it, because women wont get as long in prison for the same crime that a man does.
2006-10-16 03:53:24 · answer #7 · answered by Jo. 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I had a boyfriend who was abused by his wife and have been on the recieving end myself. Essentially, though i am female, the basic emotions and reactions are the same. My ex was floored by the fact that he was abused by a woman and one considerably smaller and weaker (in terms of strength) than he. Nonetheless, the old saying 'no one can make you feel inferior without your permission' comes to mind. Physical abuse in any form is ileagal and immoral. Show him your support and encourage him to be strong and independant. He should not accept this.
2006-10-16 03:53:18 · answer #8 · answered by Kathyd 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes, I know someone that had been through this kind of situation he was so embarrassed that he had a nervous break down. That's when the hitting stopped. If you see the guy with any marks again. Call the authorities and have the nasty person be held for their consequences.
2006-10-16 03:53:09 · answer #9 · answered by Ms.Deb 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
yes... i only see her as a violent horrible coward, someone he met after his first wife died...she hits him in front of people, she humiliates him, makes him look small and totally ridicules him to the point of embarrassment.... he is a gentle sweet man and treats his kids great, he was married before and has 3 daughters to his now deceased ex wife... he's a family man and all he wanted out of life is a happy one with his wife and kids...i asked him why he stayed with this animal...and like other victims, they love their partner and cannot leave because of the kids...even though his kids were at an age to fend for themselves...she is one nasty horrible bastard with alot of anger issues...i was glad when his own daughter came over and beat the crap out of her for beating up her father...she got what she deserved...this man is now re married...he has a new family and is very happy, his new wife is lovely....and not scared to punch 10 colours of cap out of her husbands ex, which she has done before, violence is not the answer to everything but this nasty wretch deserved everything she got, she has not been near their home since....i am so glad that he got away from that horrible pig...she's disgusting
2006-10-16 03:59:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋