to swing? She says she isn't into having sex with anyone else, but not only would I like that experience, It would also turn me on to watch her with someone else. Is there any way to convince her to do this, or am I nuts?
2006-10-16 03:37:55 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Please, I am looking for real answers, not a bunch of judgmental control freaks to impose their version of morality upon me.
2006-10-16 03:43:07 · update #1
Ask her to go to a swing party to just watch other people first to get her hot and horny about watching others.. and of course get her comfortable and friendly with other couples on a non-sexual basis that have like minds for swinging at the party. Women need mental stimulation !!! Let her know you love her and that you are looking to only spice things up for you and her to have fun together.
Make sure you **** her and only her the first couple times you go and talk dirty while you are ******* her ...recounting what you have watched others doing or specific people you have met and fantsize about being with and what you would like to see her do with others.
Let her lead the way and make the decision of who she likes and ask her who she might fantisize about and what nasty thoughts she has after you take her to a party or two.
Once she tells she is interested in a guy even if it is not your taste let her lead the way.. then invite the guy to make some moves and see where it goes.
One more thing to add is that what i have found is that when i have swung before and i was with a partner i loved and cared for .. when i had sex with someone else it made me more aware of how special the bond and sex is between me and my partner. Make sur eyou tell your partner this also. It really helped me realize the difference between hot sex for fun and a deeper meaningful connection where you would do anything for the other person and you could be that open to exploring and having those kind of adventures together.
Other swinging sex partners admire the trust, honesty, commitment, and bond a swinging couple has.
2006-10-16 03:51:01 · answer #1 · answered by hotredhead2655 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I am not trying to be judgmental but have you thought this all the way through. My man admits that it would be great to have a threesome and see me with another man but he also says that in the long run he would be jealous as he!! and probably end up knocking the guy out.
My thought is that if she doesnt want to and all she wants is you then just leave it alone for now. You have to respect her opinion on this also. Myself as a woman if I dont want to do something in the bedroom than there is no way to change my mind.
However, if you are looking for more excitement or something new talk with her about what she would like to try from the norm. You never know but you might be surprised what she will come up with I know my man was when he asked me.
I would drop this subject of swinging if she is set on not wanting to you just need to leave it alone someday she might change her mind but if she is happy with just you then be happy and grateful that all she needs to be sexually satisfied is you.
2006-10-16 03:52:48 · answer #2 · answered by Aries Girl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Check out swing clubs online and ask this question of them. I believe that it yakes a special woman to want to swing. Most woman want one man and only one man so you may never get her into it. My wife is cheating on me and we are seperated but when she told me she was cheating all I could think about was watching her with the other guy. I have no idea what I would gain from watching another guy satisfy my wife its just a goal and not a very good one at that.
2006-10-16 03:53:04 · answer #3 · answered by fortyninertu 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well you need to realize that some women get married to be with one man. I know it is more common now a days to swing but some women are more tradtional.
Try explaining it to her and tell her what your turn-ons are. Explain that you love her and that you think it would help with the bedroom activity. I don't know if she would be into it but you can always try. The worst thing she could say is "NO". Just keep in mind her values and morals. She might be old fashion and want to stay that way.
I wish I could convince my husband to swing.
2006-10-16 09:01:02 · answer #4 · answered by babydove1821 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There's no way to convince her of anything. She can make her own decsion. My fiance and i have this argument all the time. This is what i tell him.
Men can separate sex and love, and most women cant, especially when they are married. Duh,of COURSE you would like the experience of having sex with someone else...but too bad, you made the choice to be married and be faithful to one person for the rest of your life. She probably sees sex with you as something sacred, soemthing only you two share. She doesnt want to share herself with anyone, even if you are ok with it and want to watch, becasue this goes against her values of what marriage is all about. And she CERTAINLY doesnt want anyoen else being intimate with YOU. You are her husband, and you swore vows to her on your wedding day that you would be faithful.
Even if she DID agree to it finally, it would liekly ruin your marriage afterwords. She will be totally insecure thinking "Why am i not enough for him anymore"? and will be scarred with the images of you with someone else in that way. Its a BAD idea. If you are having these thoughts...well...too bad, you should have thought of that before you said your VOWS on your WEDDING DAY.
2006-10-16 03:57:09 · answer #5 · answered by EllisFan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I find it hard to believe that she doesn't have sexual fantasies. The first thing you need to do is to get her to talk openly about them, but be ready, hers will likely be much different than yours. The key ingredient that all married swingers have besides trust is open and honest communication with their partners about sex. Take it slow. You are taking your relationship into strange territory and it will take time for both of you to get used to it. The link below is an excellent forum where you can ask this question but I think the adviced you get will be much the same.
2006-10-16 07:18:37 · answer #6 · answered by justaguy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try watching some porn with couples that swing. See if she would be interested in a soft swing first, where you don't have sex with other couples, ujust in the same room so you can see each other. Maybe she would go for just oral after that, then...who knows? Try reading some erotica to her during foreplay that deals with swinging and see how that works.
2006-10-16 04:00:50 · answer #7 · answered by C. V. C 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She probably now feels like she is not enough for you, or that you are using this as an excuse to have sex with other women. If she is really not into it, better to just drop the subject and try to spice up your sex life in other ways.
2006-10-16 03:59:20 · answer #8 · answered by Lotus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not real sure that you can "convince" someone of that if they're not into it. Look, these people judge everyone for everything....the fact is, over 4 million Americans swing every year! That is an incredible number! But it's not for everyone....
2006-10-16 03:47:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If she doesn't want to do, you'll never "convince" her to do it. If you ever do convince her, deep down, she'll be regretting it. So, in the long run...it will only cause problems for the two of you. Just love her for the woman that she is. I hope your wife will satisfy you enough. Respect her wishes.
2006-10-16 03:46:13 · answer #10 · answered by lkjgfyfukh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋