O.k well here is my story, i have my boyfriend of 2 years, I love him to death, but yesterday we were together, and we went to his house and just stayed there for a while. Well there was new news that his cousin is getting married in May 2007, which is awsome, but when he was taking me back home, i asked him that why was everyone getting married but us, then he said that he is not ready that he doesnt even think about that, which is ok because im currently 18 and he is 21, but is it ok that he doesnt even think about marriage yet? should i just give him time? because i really dont want to lose him.
2006-10-16 03:36:25 · 19 answers · asked by *Playmate* 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You know us girls start thinking about marriage when we notice that we fell in love with somebody. You think he's the one for you. But he doesn't think that way that soon. If you know he really loves you, give himn a little bit more time. Wait till you both are ready, physically and financially...
Hope everything works out for you guys.
2006-10-16 03:44:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not all that wise but this is what I think,
Do take your time and don't rush your boyfriend. If he isn't ready, then he'll panic from what he sees as pressure and flip out. I got married when I was 18 - many moons ago, and it was really really difficult. It made growing up alot harder because I couldn't afford to make mistakes that a person naturally would make at that age. I felt lonely, bored and had to grow up really fast. It's was so hard and you can never get those years back again.
Secondly, I watched my son go through a very long relationship with alot of pressure from his girlfriend and her family to get married. He was NOT ready and would have made a terrible husband if he had gotten married even 6 months before he did. He got married at age 24 - he was ready and is prepared to do everything he should do to keep his marriage strong and growing. He knows it's HIS job to protect his wife and family and to work hard on communication. They got to move into their own home - a house they purchased and hope to have a baby before long. They have traveled and spent alot of time together - growing alone and growing together and they are stronger for it. Their chance of long term success is very high - they laid the groundwork first.
I know it's hard to be patient when you are 18. Take time to have fun, learn about yourself, experience life first - you will be happy you did.
Let him do the same. You'll be glad you did, sweetie.
Very best of luck to you both.
2006-10-16 10:56:32 · answer #2 · answered by MissHazel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think you should be upset, your both young still, whose to say in 3-4 years you might not wanna be married to him. enjoy your time together. have this conversation in another 5 years. A 21 year old guy who isnt thinking about marriage is normal. im sure he loves you but wouldnt you like to have a home, career and all those things be4 marriage? live and let live.be happy, ur not gonna lose him, my parents have been together for 20 years and married for 6.
2006-10-16 10:49:59 · answer #3 · answered by jenny3543 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is a life choice, are you ready for that at 18? You shouldn't be. You have lots of time don't stress about it. Him not even thinking about marriage at 21 is normal. Just have fun together. Don't think about what everyone else is doing. Think of it like this "if every one else jumped off a bridge would you then jump too"?
2006-10-16 10:47:35 · answer #4 · answered by lynx 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're so young. Don't push it, no pressure. Pressure usually backfires on you anyway. Enjoy each other's company for now even if he's not the one you eventually marry. Try not getting in too deep either if this is how he feels (for example in no way should you live together) and make sure you have plenty of girl friends to do things with too.
2006-10-16 10:42:53 · answer #5 · answered by Babyface 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want to lose him, respect his feelings. You both are young yet, go out and experience life for just yourselves and together. Given time, he will come around when he feels ready. You pushing him to it with hints or even comments about wanting to get married all the time could drive him away.
2006-10-16 10:41:28 · answer #6 · answered by spunkyshell2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are too young. Don't even think about marriage. Get an education and take care of #1, first.
2006-10-16 10:41:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes guys are not mature enough,,even at that age to think about marriage...Altho it seems wierd that he doesn't even think a little about it. Give him a little more time and if you have no problem with not getting married then let it drop.
2006-10-16 10:40:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. You are both still very young with education or work responsibilities to start or build upon. You still also have a continuing and enriching maturing process to go through. Give it time, enjoy your youth without premature burdens, and, if it is destined, it will happen.
2006-10-16 10:50:12 · answer #9 · answered by ElOsoBravo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am wondering what part of his conversation did you miss ???He has been straight up with you so any wishes you're hanging on to are yours.The man said he 's not even thinking of marriage,actually neither should you be ,unless you are doing married things.If you are ,with him, and you thought it would lead to marriage,well now you know it won't.
2006-10-16 10:41:40 · answer #10 · answered by georgia p 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋