he says it's not my fault i know it's his but i feel like i didn't or i don't do enough for him but i still love him and both of us want to make it work please help i need advice it is all i think about.
2006-10-16 03:33:38 · 33 answers · asked by ♥♥ lou lou ♥♥ 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
PLEASE ONLY SERIOUS ANSWERS PLEASE !!!
2006-10-16 03:35:24 · update #1
Blame is not very productive.
He needs to understand:
#1 Kissing anyone but you is out of bounds
#2 If he has needs he is not getting fulfilled by you he needs to tell you.
You need to understand:
#1 Take care of your husband, learn how to give BJs and do it often without being asked.
#2 Take care of you body.
2006-10-16 06:54:50 · answer #1 · answered by onlineseeker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's ridiculous to feel its your fault. You should be FURIOUS at 1)Him and 2)Your best friend for even being in that situation. If a man is going to cheat (i consider kissing cheating), it has NOTHING to do with you. He wants something else...not becuase you werent enough, hes just a man. Men like women. If he isnt trustworthy, your vows dont mean squat.
That's great if you want to make it work...people give up on marriages too easily these days. But DONT be a doormat. Tell him and MEAN it that if it happens again (with anyone) you are GONE and you get the house and the dog too. And really leave. Bottom line, its often easier to blame it on ourselves...because we can change ourselves. Its harder to take a step back and say, No, he chose this, and he is the only one who can change and fix it. Its out of your hands.
2006-10-16 03:42:00 · answer #2 · answered by EllisFan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never discuss your personal life with a best friend. Always speak in generalities and don't encourage her to develop more than a casual acquaintence with your husband. You are asking for trouble. It's not your fault that he's an a*s and let his little head do his thinking. Cease all contact with her and keep a close eye on hubby for a while.
2006-10-16 06:53:13 · answer #3 · answered by kane 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW!!! you have nothing to feel terrible about. You weren't the one caught kissing someone else, he was. And as for her being your best friend, not, a best friend wouldn't even let it go that far. Sounds like he is the one with the problem. You have to think hard on this one. Cause, usually once they do something once, they'll continue doing it. You and him need to get down to the root of the problem. Is it a problem? Or is it just him wanting alittle bit tooo much?? You can't have your cake and eat it tooooo
2006-10-16 03:41:39 · answer #4 · answered by kittymeow63 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, no one, is responsible for the actions of another person...no matter what you did/said, you are not responsible for his actions as he is equally not responsible for yours.
How did you find out, or were you there when he tried to kiss her? You need to understand that whatever is going on in your marriage, should be first and foremost discussed between the two of you, without trying to find solutions outside of your marriage..i.e him trying to kiss your best friend.
You need to come to the understanding, and accept the fact, that there is obviously something wrong and lacking, if he is trying to kiss your best friend...and this is something he needs to come out and explain. This was all on him, you need to get a reason from him on why he did this, and what he feels is missing, that led him to do what he did.
Remember, each person is responsible for their own actions...once you realize this, you will stop feeling guilty over something that you truly have no control over. This will also help you gain perspective on what you need from your marriage, and what you also can do for your husband, from what he might have felt is missing.
2006-10-16 03:51:44 · answer #5 · answered by Patience 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you blame yourself for the selfish thing that your husband did? If he was so intent on making the marriage work, why did it take him trying to seduce your best friend for him to confess his love and loyalty to you? What kind of best firend is she? Did she at least resist? What did you do? Don't blame yourself, if he wasn't happy he should have come to you and the two of you work it out, not him tyring to bring in a third party. That was just a selfish move on his part. He did it, so let him take the blame for it. Decide if you can trust him, and if so, move forward with your marriage, if not, get out and find someone who will love you for you.
2006-10-16 03:40:25 · answer #6 · answered by Special K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not your fault at all, did you put the two of them together and make them kiss? No, so stop with all that, he has treated you badly and so has your friend. I would firstly tell your friend never to set foot neat you or your husband again, and then make sure you get the apology you deserve, and not just the words, make sure he shows you by his actions and behaviour that he is truly sorry.
2006-10-16 03:39:11 · answer #7 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why would you feel like it's your fault? Your husband was at fault.
Since nothing happened maybe you can work things out. Talk to him and find out why he wanted to kiss her and take it from there.
2006-10-16 03:41:50 · answer #8 · answered by debi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why on Earth would you feel like this is your fault? It's not. If you want to work this out, you guys need to see a counselor. It will be hard for you to trust him again. Good Luck
2006-10-16 03:47:23 · answer #9 · answered by Lotus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's definitely not your fault. If I were you I'd hurt my so called best friend for gettign ready to kiss my husband. At least yhou saw it at kissing. I would recommend counseling to resolve the issues he and you have. Don't blame yourself though. Good luck with that
2006-10-16 03:44:22 · answer #10 · answered by B U Tiful 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋