Would you find it demanding or controlling if your partner/wife ask you to call them if you are going to be late when coming home from work or going impromtu to the pub?I noticed that this was the time when my marriage had started going down the drain.All I did was ask?
2006-10-16 03:12:31 · 31 answers · asked by JUSEve 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I thought we were really happy in our marriage.We had just moved to the UK.We had no family or friends.I just needed A phone call,no details really and nochecking in every hour just one phone call be informed
2006-10-16 03:25:41 · update #1
No, it is entirely reasonable and your husband is being selfish and discourteous.If he was late for a business meeting, he would call the other party and explain, wouldn't he?So why not do the same for the person he has elected to spend his life with?
My husband is known to stay at work longer than he should. During that time I have prepared dinner. If he does not ring me to say he has been delayed, then my efforts to present him with a decent meal are wasted.
Worse, if he is three or four hours late because he is held up by traffic on his way back from a meeting some distance away, I am worried that he has had an accident. So I do expect a telephone call.This is not control , it is CARING for the other person in the relationship and making sure they are OK.
Nowadays there is no real excuse for not calling since most people have a mobile phone, and to ring your wife to say that you will be late is showing the consideration which you promised her when you got married.
It is a simple enough courtesy really.
2006-10-16 04:03:16 · answer #1 · answered by WISE OWL 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's demanding or controlling at all as long as your not asking for permission as much as just informing your partner. Taking the time to inform them of a plan change is a courtesy. Otherwise, that person could be at home afraid you've been in a car crash or someother horrible accident which isn't very fair when it takes 2 seconds to call (or they could be planning a surprise romantic dinner that's turning to ice). On the other hand, if they tell you that you can't go for no good reason, then you have a problem....there's a lack of trust & there is a controll issue.
2006-10-16 03:19:50 · answer #2 · answered by autumn 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends on how you asked him but I would say no. My husband is a plumber so his work day is done when the calls are done which could be 5-8pm and the company he works for has a 24hr on call service so at times he has to go out late at nite. I asked my husband to call me when he's going to be home later than normal or when he's on his way home from a late night call. He has no problem with this and never fails to call especially when I told him my reasons. 1. So I can have his dinner warm for him and 2. When he's out late I worry about him getting into an accident or hurt on the job. Let him know that it's not because you don't trust him but that you worry when he's not home when expected. If he's any kind of husband he will understand.
2006-10-16 03:28:36 · answer #3 · answered by Troubled 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No it isn't demanding / controlling at all. Its just nice to know where your partner is so that you know not to prepare dinner or wait up. Me and my partner had some problems when we initally moved in. He'd just pop out after work and I'd get home, start dinner and thered be no sign of him til 10:00pm that night. For all I knew he could have had a car accident on the way home from work and be lying in a hospital bed somewhere! So we had words and he understands now. Don't link this with your marriage break down. Your ex husband probably had other issues at the time and your concerns maybe highlighted them.
2006-10-16 04:37:38 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh come on. In a good relationship a guy will just call and say "I am just hanging out with the guys for a bit". Calling is a courtesy. Think about if you just went out and didnt call. I dont care if my partner does whatever as I trust her.... but since we are a pair we just know what the other are doing. But so many guys get into the she is just being a ball and chain. I personally, and a mature guy will, love just getting a hey I love you when I am at the pub.
2006-10-16 03:24:02 · answer #5 · answered by jackson 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not demanding or controlling! With all the accidents and crime going on in the world, it's only fair to let your partner know where you are going and at what time you'll be back. My hushand and I have a rule - If we have to go somewhere, we call when we go and when we arrive there. The other day one guy's wife was missing for a whole weekend and the guy didn't even go look for her.
2006-10-16 03:18:19 · answer #6 · answered by Charmaine V 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Out of being respectful, you should be informed. Not calling to say you'll be late is rude. If he was cheating on you the call may not have mattered though. 17 years of marriage and I managed to call my wife most times to let her know I was running late or gonna be late. But she always knew how to get hold of me in any case. I was always where I said I was. That is part of being a partner. Respect and Trust.
2006-10-16 03:21:32 · answer #7 · answered by Tommy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Asking to be told that your partner is going to be late, or has decided to go for a pint or two after work is fine. Any bloke who can't even show that simple courtesy shouldn't have a wife.
If however, you want to know who he's with, when he's going to be back and what he's going to do - and you keep calling him just to make sure - that's controlling and demanding.
2006-10-16 03:17:11 · answer #8 · answered by mark 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel, My wife, possibly ex was the same. She had no relatives over here and friends, Now she's gone I realize where I went wrong and I deeply regret it. You had every right to ask, you were probably worried etc. Don't blame yourself for this, your husband should have done the right thing, I know I wished I had. Don't assume he was cheating or anything, maybe he just couldn't handle the responsibity Men I think just take longer to accept responsibity than Women. I hope this helps, take care...
2006-10-16 07:17:31 · answer #9 · answered by Joeyjo75 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No there is nothing wrong with expecting a phone call, when someone your husband or wife is either late, or going to the pub, its respect, and comon courtesy to let the other know where they are etc. cheers good luck.
2006-10-18 22:08:10 · answer #10 · answered by donua1022 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋