my husband of 25 yrs. goes with a male friend he has known for many years to our remote cabin in the mts. every yr. They always go about the same time of yr. and stay a week. It's not that I am insecure and have to be with my hubby every min of every day, quite frankly the time away is nice, but why would a married man want to be with a guy for that long? Am I missing something, or do I just not understand guys?? I don't work, no children at home, but I am never invited. What is your gut feeling? Oh, and a couple of years ago upon his return 2 of his viagra pills were missing from his little black duffle bag. When I asked him about this he told me he had to pay his friend back from a couple of years ago when he had borrowed some from him. He tried so hard to convince me, but I still don't believe him and he insists on still taking these trips??? Ok, let me hear from you! Thanks!
2006-10-16 03:00:25 · 20 answers · asked by butterflylover 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Broke Back Mt.
2006-10-16 03:03:07 · answer #1 · answered by seilygirl 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Unfortunately I must say that he is cheating. A woman's intuition is rarley wrong and if you are already thinking it and are seeking advice you are only looking for someone to tell you he's not. Because you know in your heart he is, you're not stupid, but being together so long and having the luxury of not working, and then no kids at home. Makes it that much easier to look past these things. And let me think like a man for a second, because I've seen this way too many times. He knows you're taken care of, so he sees that you have no right to tell him that he shouldn't go. And because he is the provider he feels that you need him more than he needs you so even if he did get caught he feels that you still wouldn't go anywhere. But because of how long you've been together he obviously does love you so he's not just going to try to make it obvious of his unfatihfulness because he really doesn't want to hurt you. But from experience on both sides of the fence sweetheart, it is unfortunate that many people stay married because its convenient, not to say thats right, but 25 years is a lot of history to just throw away just because he feels the need to explore other jungles! That sounds sad but thats how a lot of people feel in your same postion, if that sounds like BS then don't take it!! Go get your groove back girl!! Its never too late.
2006-10-16 10:19:45 · answer #2 · answered by Curious 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband has 2 gay friends and there very close to him, I also have 2 lesbians friends that are very close to me. It doesn't mean that we are Bi. Honestly, your husband can be up to something. I mean do you both usually take trips like these together ? or he only does this with his friends ? You can always end up showing up to the cabin or hiring a spy. If you honestly, truly believe there something fishy about your husband then you have all the right to check up on him in a way you never intended too. Alot of husbands unfortionaly cheat on there wives's.
I think the whole viagra thing, it just doesnt make sence to me. I wouldnt pay back my friend with 2 birthcontrol pills, would you ?
2006-10-16 10:08:24 · answer #3 · answered by I think of you I touch Myself 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Me personally would grab the kids and take a trip up there to see what is going on. No married man she go away for a week without his wife. I have heard of couples get away for a week but not two married men. Don't fall for it hun. He is definitely up to something me as a married woman and a stay home mom would be in my car with my kids checking out what is wrong. A woman's instincts is always right. It has never let me down.
2006-10-16 10:06:18 · answer #4 · answered by shyhonney 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wasn't at all concerned until you mentioned the pills. But honest, men need time alone with men. It's healthy for them. Women also need time away with women. Just to relax, bond, have fun, do things that the opposite sex just don't understand. Like if you went away for a week with the girls, you'd probably site see, do each other's hair, go for manicures, tell stories of the wonderful things your spouses do and so on. Men wouldn't get this at all, and so you might not get the things he finds fun when away, but that's okay. Men need to bond with men for this reason and women need to bond with women. If he's never given you any other reason to worry, I'd trust him on it, but if more pills go missing next year, I would definately ask him what is going on. Also find out if there are other reasons to take the pills, is there a high or anything? I don't know much about this drug sorry, but it might be something to look into. I wish you all the best! :) I myself wouldn't worry about it unless more pills go missing next year.
2006-10-16 10:11:48 · answer #5 · answered by Kendra 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Smells fishy only because you threw in the viagra thing. There isnt anything wrong with a vaca. from life. Wouldnt you go on a trip with a girlfriend. Should he think you are hot-n-heavy in the sac with her!!! Do some more digging. Gays/Bis arent that hard to miss!
2006-10-16 10:18:34 · answer #6 · answered by runzwsizorz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
guys like guy times together just like women like morning tea together. I would love to have a week with my best friend out in the woods, and we aren't gay but we do love the woods and living rustic. You can't rough it with a woman and kids around wanting a hot bath, a video game, etc. Maybe he borrowed the viagra to see what it was like last time before getting his own? It gives me a stiff neck. ;)
2006-10-16 10:22:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a guys trip. Give him some space. We need that once in a while. Lots of guys I know are gone half the fall hunting. Be thnakful its only once a year. And what are you doing counting pills? Believe him . If they go into town and meet women, they wouldn't need viagara to do that. Buddies trade them, believe me. Just be grateful when he uses one with you
2006-10-16 10:11:53 · answer #8 · answered by Foss 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you positive you really do want to know what he's doing? I mean - they've been doing this for a long time and it doesn't seem to have affected your relationship so far. If you want a divorce, sure - follow him there! But if you are happy in your relationship, maybe it would be best to just stick your head in the sand.
2006-10-16 10:19:37 · answer #9 · answered by farmgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wake up honey - it's not the guy he's doing. They both take a couple of women up with them when they go. It's their Little get away - a nice little foursome party. Same time next year - follow him up there a day or two later. don't be surprised by what you find.
2006-10-16 10:08:40 · answer #10 · answered by Admiral 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My suggestion would be if you have your own car follow him next time he goes on one of his trips. Maybe he's playing "Broke Back Mountain"? Or he is telling the truth. The only way to find out for sure is to follow him....
2006-10-16 10:11:37 · answer #11 · answered by Ms.Deb 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋