should i ban smoking from my house?

Question

My dad comes over quite a bit and is a smoker. My husband and i don't smoke ourselves and choose to have a clean healthy enviroment for our three children. My dad is of the opinion that passive smoking is a load of rubbish and breathing in second hand smoke is not harmful.

I am becoming more and more irritated when i sit in my kitchen and see him breathing out the smoke into my clean atmosphere. I try and joke when he is going and say that i will be able to breath again but he lays a guilt trip on me and says i will give him a complex and he will feel like he can't come over anymore. I think this is really unfair. My sister and brother both smoke but they go outside in my back garden.

Anyone else had this dilema. How did you handle it?

Beerbelly, i wanted helpful advice, not be told to grow a spine. I have a spine but i also love my dad dearly so your advice isn't needed. Everybody else thanks, great advice thankyou very much

Thankyou cowpoke, very nice words. much appreciated. Thankyou

Answer 1

I think if you handle your father in a kind and respectful manner he would comply with your wishes. Give him a comfortable smoking area and make him feel welcome in your home. Don't be a smart a-- about it like some of the answers I have read. I smoked for many years and it was very hard to quit , some people just can't. My wife can't ,but she is a very good mother and granny, and I would not let my children are anyone mistreat her. She does not smoke in their homes but they have a place for her to smoke. She is very respectful of their wishes and would not want to endanger her grand childrens health either. Most young people today can't tolerate anything and have no patients with anyone or thing. I am sure that your father loves you and his grandchildren very much , so try to keep this in mind when you approach him . Kindness and respect can move mountians. I bet you handly this well and good luck to you .

Answer 2

To tell the elders not to smoke may resulted in negative impact on relationship. However, there are still many ways of getting it done with a win win situation method. Put a "No Smoking " sign at a place where U do not want the smokers to smoke. Designate a conducive location for smokers to smoke, possibly at the garden or at out door area. Remove all ash trays from the interior of the house. Inform your visitor that smoking is prohibited inside your house. I hope it will works.

Answer 3

Depends if you want to fall out with your dad or not. I am a smoker and can see it from both sides. I honestly believe that smoking is harmful to those that smoke and others around them. However, if you keep going on about it to him he will get upset and think you are being unreasonable and this could lead to relationship problems that need not have been there. Perhaps you could move his chair near a window or open the doors so the smoke goes out through them? All I would say is that this is a tricky one and you have to weigh up the effects the smoke would have on your kids as opposed to the efect it would have on them if they did not see their Grandad?

Answer 4

I am an ex-smoker and have asked all family and friends to not smoke in house but to feel free to smoke at open back door or in garden. All understand how I feel and are happy to comply. A loving relationship works both ways and compromise needs to be taken to keep that. Surely your father will understand that you only want best for your family. If brothers and sisters can I'm sure he can too.

Answer 5

Passive smoking is very harmful and it can kill just like ordinary smoking. Could you perhaps show your dad some information from the internet? It sounds like he's in denial about this as it's common knowledge that passive smoking is harmful. Can you say to him directly that you don't want any smoking in your house due to the risks. After all it's your house and your right to clean air. I understand it's horrible upsetting your dad but at the end of the day your kids deserve a healthy life and constantly exposing them to smoke is really not good at all.

Answer 6

Your dad thinks passive smoking is a load of rubbish because he doesn't want to believe it. That is up to him. But if you believe it, then for the sake of your kids, ban it from the house. It is awkward to stand up to your parents, but if he really loves you and your children, he will respect your wishes. You could offer to meet him somewhere outside your house, or ask him to smoke in the bathroom with the door closed (soft furnishings hold the smoke, so usually the bathroom is the best indoor place for a smoker as the particles won't be trapped in carpet, sofa etc)
Good luck!

Answer 7

yes i think you should...for yours and your kids sake....you can catch smoke related illnesses from passive smoking....there was a case a few years ago where a guy got lung cancer and sued his company because the firm did not have a smoking facility in the workplace so whereever he went...he was breathing in other peoples smoke...it was big news back then....your dad should at least go into the garden or by the door until he's finished his ciggy...or better still ask him to quit....it takes 5 minutes to smoke a cig...but it has long lasting effects on other people...and himself of course...be firm but polite with your dad...tell him you don't like it and it's making your home stink, plus it could cause health problems for you and your family...he should respect your wishes...i know you love him, and would love him to quit, but some people just can or wont....so get him to one side and ask him nicely to go by the door or into the garden until he's finished

Answer 8

I banned smoking from my house. My friends understand because I have four kids and accept that I don't want them inhailing second hand smoke.

It is dangerous. My Mum died of lung cancer at 49. The doctor thought she must have been a smoker but she never was. She actually worked in an office for five years next to a woman who chain smoked all day.

I still know the woman. She has given up smoking now - pity she didn't do it years ago!

Answer 9

Just explain to him that you really dont like the smell and your children, ( his Grandchildren ) dont like it either and would it really be too much trouble if he could smoke in the back garden, even offer to go out there and stand with him, while he smoke... stand the opposite direction from the smoke. It is a hard thing because of course you love you dad, but he should know that is bothers you and understand. Good Luck!

Answer 10

It is your house, you have children, and you are looking out for them. He should respect you and your views.

Ask him to go into the back garden, why dont you get him a nice little chair, or bench under an umbrella so he can smoke when it rains, and a nice sturdy ash tray. He will feel less of an outcast that he smokes if he sees you making an effort.