what do i do?

Question

i am married but i love another guy.the feeling is mutual, i want to marry him . i dont want to hurt my husband, but i want to be with the other guy.we have never had sex because i am am married

Answer 1

Honestly, you allowed the situation to get to where its at... feeling torn isnt pleasant. I think that eventually you will engage in a relationship with the one that you truely love. But, you should remember this: He does not respect your current marital status AND he will have difficulties trusting you in the future. If you two do eventually get married, there will always be the questions: Is he hitting on other married women? Is she cheating on me with another man?

-Just things to think about...

Answer 2

I really think that you should share this with your husband and let him know the truth. Just because you have not had sex with this man that does not mean that you are being faithful to your husband. You should not lead your husband hanging by a thread.
I just hope that you are aware of all of the consequences that is going to come along with this situation. You might feel that you are not attracted or love your husband anymore because you have become attracted to this man and you believe that you love and want to marry him. But once that truly happens you just might realize that he is not what you truly wanted and that you had made a mistake and let the true love of your life go because of an infatuation. And if you and your husband have children together and you are only going to divorce your husband because of your infatuation then it just might be possible that you will lose the custody of your children because of your selfish act. You should really think this matter over wisely, because if everything is going fine with your marriage then you should not want to ruin your family just because of another man.Because you don't really even know if he will be able to please or make you happy in every way that you are wanting or not.
I wish you the best of luck with what ever your decision will be.

Answer 3

Wow girl! You need to talk to your husband about what is going on asap. How did you ever allow yourself to become involved with another man in the first place? You owe it to you spouse to explain to him what is happening. Just remember the grass always looks greener on the other side. You may hop that fence and land in **** I hope you have thought this through. If you have children by all means get professional help before making a choice. Maybe if you had told your hubby the problems you were having he could of made an effort to change something. I'm assuming the other relationship is in its early stages, which always seems WONDERFUL at first. Think back to when you and hubby got together and how "in love " you were then. A marriage is work and you shouldn't just quit because some other guy made your heart flutter. You should try to rekindle that with your husband. I wish you all the luck! Words of wisdom What goes around comes around!!!!!

Answer 4

Did you ever love your husband? If so, you have the chance of rekindling the relationship and achieving back the intimacy. Maybe even more so, if you both are willing to make it work. It takes time to rebuild trust and to build shared loving experiences, but it can happen.

If you never loved your husband, then both you and he deserve to be happy and open to the prospect that you both can love, and be in love with another if not with each other.

The issue with question that I posed in asking if you loved your husband at any point in time often points to a phenomena that many women experience at some time during a relationship. That is - we often think the grass is greener elsewhere, while turning our back on what we already have. You will miss what you have with your present husband if you do not give it a shot to work it out. What about the character of the person who wants you, but KNOWS that you are already married? That is a concern. Character is everything when it comes to relationships, because we are not given guarantees with boyfriends/girlfriends therefore character is the only thing that can help you determine the characteristics of an individual in any future situation. At this point your prospective boyfriend's character is not looking strong, if you once shared the same bond with your husband. Because his fascination with you erodes that very bond that you are drawn to and that is love.

The issue with my second scenario I gave you is that you truly do deserve to be happy, and so does your husband. Therefore, you need to allow your husband to be freed from the shackles of marriage in a loveless relationship and you deserve to make the other man happy. Be careful though, some men are attracted to taken women vs. the woman who is readily and emotionally available to them. Its something along the philosophy of wanting what one cannot have, or believing the grass is greener in another man's yard.

Answer 5

Think about what you are about to do. Think of how it will affect everyone involved. I've been married for 15 yrs and during our 3rd yr the same thing happened, I thought I was madly in love with someone else, but it turned out to be only physical attraction for him. I was humiliated and riddled with guilt, and I not only devastated the man who truly loved me, but I lost his respect and trust for a long timeafterward, I've had to work hard to earn that trust and respect back. Think first before you do anything, your actions have consequences. Once it's done, you can never take it back.

Answer 6

Wow... You owe your husband the truth. Trust me, he won't be happy with it either. Be upfront. You're going to have to explain how you fell in love with another man while you were married to him, so be prepared to tell it all. He's going to want to know what he did wrong, and why you don't love him. You need to make sure he knows you haven't slept with this person because you respect your husband too much - and that's why you're telling him the truth.

Answer 7

you may think that by not having sex with this guy you are sticking to your wedding vows, but the backbone of any marriage is truth. i have a feeling that a "fling" would have hurt your husband less than you falling in love with another man. you need to come clean to your husband and set things right. if you want out of the marriage, have the decency to tell him. then you can pursure this other guy. you telling him will hurt less than him findidng out on his own. regardless of how it happens, be prepared that he is going to be VERY hurt.
good luck to you.

Answer 8

If there are no children involved, then by all means get a divorce, you're husband should be given the opportunity to find someone who does want be a loyal spouse. Good luck.

Answer 9

you promised God and your husband til death do you part.. sorry hun, but you are in this marriage for life... you shouldn't be allowing yourself the freedom to look at another man.... Its adultery if you leave your husband for this other man.. in the eyes of God you will always be married to your husband. If you run off with this other guy and "marry" him, it won't be recognized in the eyes of God... Whats more important... your soul getting to heaven, or a few years of sin with a new man? I think your soul in heaven is worth it, forget this new guy, and rekindle what you and your husband have lost, it might be hard at first, but God will reward you with happiness. He will fix your marriage and make you happier than when you first married him... stick by your husband, he deserves it!

Answer 10

be committed to the one you love thats what is wrong with this country someone does it and then everyone does it thinking it is alright so no don;t change your love just for another guy, if he will mess around with you while your married what do you think he will do when ya;ll get married?