Iv been wid this guy 4about3months now&really like him.There is only1problem he has a son of1wid his ex which doesn’t bother me I actually think he is rather cute.The problem is her,im not a jealous person&don’t believe in letting other girls come between a couple at the end of the day its u that there coming home2but she’s still the main girl in his life,I don’t mind her contacting him regarding the little boy but it does not stop there she phones him all the time&is always there when he goes up his mates house as she is mates with them.She takes his little sisters out&even started tellin him how she wants to be a family again&crying that she is not happy with her new boyfriend.
He reassures me that its me he wants to be wid&that he does not want to get bac wid her but can I really have a relationship wid some1that’s still so close2there ex?I know its still really early days but I really love him&don’t want2let him go.
How can I tell him2distance from her widout sounding jealous
2006-10-16 00:14:57 · 12 answers · asked by stacy c 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Learn to spell....learn sentence structure....and learn more about life before you get into this kind of relationship.
As long as they share a child together she will be around until the child is 18.
2006-10-16 00:18:23 · answer #1 · answered by OleMarbleEyes 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As long as he is honest with u about his feelings towards her then there really isn't a problem. She will always have a tie with him due 2 the baby boy........that's unfortunate 4 u but something u will have 2 deal with. If she is not happy with her present boyfriend that is not his problem nor Ur's. Don't worry about her. Trust Ur man and believe he will not go back 2 where he came from. If u cant believe or trust him then u need 2 talk out Ur feelings with him. u need 2 let him no how feel. Don't hide the truth. Communication is the key. Good Luck.
2006-10-16 00:27:56 · answer #2 · answered by bammbamm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he hasnt broken off from her completely yet that means theres still something there.....It may sound crude, but since i left my oldest daughters father, i could have at any time got him back, even after he married and had a child with her.........maybe not for ever, mind you, but at least for the moment, if you know what i mean. (not that i did) They are still in a relationship. You and her bf are possibly just weapons theyre using to make each other jealous. I suggest a balls to the walls approach. Stand up for your feelings- if he loves you back then he must respect your feelings too. Tell him you ARE AWARE its early days but regardless of this, you dont want this sort of disrespect to become a habit. You can understand if there is a period of adjustment for her but that you dont expect this to carry on forever. Furthermore, that you expect certain things to stop immediately, like his emotional talks with her where she is given the opportunity to express her desire to become a family again. His responsibility is to his child, not her, and just cause they have a history does not mean she can bellyache to him, its nearly impossible to be friends with an ex straight away. It took about six years for me and my ex rto get over loving each other, learn to despise each other, get to the point where we werent angry anynmore, and become friends. And i still dont cry on his shoulder. See how he reacts-if he assures you its truly you he wants and admits to having been disrespecting you, then set a time limit-in your head-for when you expect him to break off from her completely-and stick to it. Or if hes a jerk about it, ditch him, and find a guy who will put you first. Dont be someone elses pawn.
2006-10-16 00:31:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
by the way there is nothing wrong with Ur spelling or structure see even icant spell but ithink u should stick with this guy if u fell strongly 4 him work at it try 2 explane 2 him how Ur feeling and make sure u don't blame his child on anything. just say u feel there is 3 in the relationship as she is always there or on the phone that u would just like him 2 distance him self from her but not the baby good luck
2006-10-16 01:02:10 · answer #4 · answered by cruise girl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel your pain... My Partner has a 5year old son with his ex... although perhaps a slight different scenario as they werent really a family...
All i can say is support your partner through this... as the childs 'mother' can be as nasty as she wants with regards to access and stuff until things are settled in court... talk openly about your feelings for the child and your new partner, express all your fears and doubts especially about his ex and her calls and stuff. You know once you do it will bring you closer and he will realise that the 'package' of him and his child isnt an issue...in fact you love it..
The issue is trust by the sound of it... and at the end of the day he is with you... he has to be amacable with his ex... otherwise he runs the risk of not seeing him..
I often go all para about my partner.. but i know that at the end of the day l(ike he says) why have 'burger' when you can have caviar at home.... sounds daft but it reasures me!!!
2006-10-16 00:45:51 · answer #5 · answered by Cat ( " , ) 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, dah...your children of course! Please take off your rose colored glasses and look at this situation for what it is. Your children are your first committment; othewise why did you have them? Sadly, they have to come first above all other things. Being a parent is the hardest, most self consuming job that is out there. Be careful with introducing "men folk" to your children. If relationships fail then not only you are destroyed your children are too. I don't know your significant other so I am not one to judge but, why should he keep his promises to someone elses children....they aren't his. Any man will try to make brownie points at first to get what they want from you. Yes, even if it means stooping so low as to try to impress your children. Your children are craving attention. Apparently to them, you are not spending the time they feel you should with them. Kids don't normally act up when parents go out on dates; it's just when they have bad feelings or realize they are being replaced unnecessarily. PLEASE!! Be careful. Don't screw your kids up just because your carnal needs get in the way. Remember they are the most important thing in your life. Their are men out there who are wonderful and who will respect that your children come first. I suggest maybe you should keep looking.
2016-03-28 11:20:55 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him what you told us. That you are not jealous of the contact you two have to have concerning their child. However, he will have to make up his mind which one of you he wants. Don't get involved with a man who has not completely broken with his ex-wife. It will only cause you a lot of trouble.
2006-10-16 00:23:56 · answer #7 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have a choice to make.. stick it out and hope that he is not as immature as she is. or you can get out now before you get in too deep. if you are concerned and he does tell you its you he wants you and not her.. then tell him he must make it clear to the ex that he does not want to hang out with her and that she should be calling about the child only.. but on the other hand watch out she may get his sister involved in breaking you guys up..
2006-10-16 00:43:13 · answer #8 · answered by bluedanube69 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First may i suggest you learn the Queen's English?
Secondly she is clearly trying to win him back, time you stopped being so timind and went on the offensive.
2006-10-16 00:20:05 · answer #9 · answered by J B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
always listen to your heart! Anytime you have to question something theres a reason for it.......Hopefully one day you want have to say "i shoulda known"
2006-10-16 02:00:50 · answer #10 · answered by Lace 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋