I was looking through my boyfriends videos on his moblie phone and i found lots of dirty videos. I pulled him on what i found and he said that he didn't look at them but everyone has them on their phone to send to other people. I felt very low at that point my self-confidence was low. Is it right for him to have dirty videos if he knows i don't like them? Please help!!!!!!!!
2006-10-15 23:11:22 · 34 answers · asked by mummytray 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Alas i know what you mean... i recently found some dodgy videos on my blokes phone... after investigating where they had come from... (just to make sure that duping him wasnt the right thing to do)... I found he downloaded them from see me tv... Needless to say that he doesnt yet know ive seen these... i find things like that are best left unsaid.. i mean if he found your 'rabbit' he might get a complex!!! its swings and roundabouts hon.. just remember if he comes home to you... thats all that matters!!!
2006-10-16 00:56:42 · answer #1 · answered by Cat ( " , ) 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel but don't worry there only videos, at the end of the day your the one he is with and your the only one his attention is focused on. If he didn't have dirty videos he wouldn't be a normal fella. You really have nothing to worry about. Why don't you act out something in one of the videos, your fella will think all his dreams as come true and will know how special you are and how lucky he is to have you.
2006-10-16 00:50:25 · answer #2 · answered by Sihanna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it's not right to for him to have dirty videos on his phone. But this is not your problem do not let him make you feel low or lacking self-confidence. Stand up for your self and be proud of who YOU are. What he does in his narrow dirty little mind has nothing to do with you.
2006-10-15 23:15:51 · answer #3 · answered by i have no idea 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh boy.
Where is it written what thou shall and shalt not have on your phone, shelves, DVD's, videos etc....?
Who made you the Captain of Taste, behaviour and of his morals..?
Did he ask You to become his Mum...?
You have every right not to like or approve of any of it, just he has every right to look at it ....just as others have the Right to possibly disapprove of the type of relationship you (imply you) have, without the benefit of 'being Married.'
As a male, I think his 'defence' is a load of garbage, but then maybe others in his group of friends do behave in the way he does and it's the 'norm' and is thus acceptable.
There is nothing Wrong or Right about these videos, it's the attitudes of people towards each other which is the problem, where people see each other as just 'a commodity to get off on,' and BUT who totally > FAIL < to see each other in any OTHER way.
One the one hand you are talking about the Right or the Wrong of dirty videos, and on the other hand, he's ignoring your feelings about them (and other issues!).
It would be a good idea to try to find away to 'talk > with < each other' about the issues you both have.
I'm NOT saying you are Right or Wrong, just that your attitude and ways of dealing with your 'issues,' does not lend itself to resolving anything.
Try to talk about what gets you upset, but avoid behaving like his Moral Guardian ~ unless you want a total failure of your relationship (which might be the easy way out - and thus proving you 'Correct').
Best of luck.
Sash.
2006-10-16 01:55:17 · answer #4 · answered by sashtou 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like theres a few issues between u and your boyf. Either youre very trusting of each other and you both dont mind going through each others phone or, more likely, he didnt know you were looking through it and you were checking up on him cos you dont fully trust him or you suspect something. Either way, guys will be guys! Ive been friends with loads of blokes. our local rugby lads and my boyf is in the raf (notorious for being typical blokes!!) and is mad on footy. Having hung round with blokes more than girls ive learned that thay are simple creatures who blatantly just enjoy having a laugh with their mates!! If the vids are of explicit content then dont worry all guys watch stuff like that, it doesnt mean hes not still into you, but if you really dont like it then maybe he should accept that you wont change your mind and take them off his phone. Either way someones gonna have to give in!! Good luck (and dont take it personally)
2006-10-15 23:45:01 · answer #5 · answered by Jenie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all why were you looking through his phone? Don't you trust him?
At the end of the day having dirty videos is better than him cheating. If you don't like them you don't need to watch them.
2006-10-15 23:19:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well its perfectly normal for guys to have that kinda thing on his phone, but i wouldnt worry about it, the videos are probably just a fantasy but he's with you, just tell him how you feel about them as im sure ur more important to him than the videos.
Take care
2006-10-15 23:50:10 · answer #7 · answered by Chappers 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's just something you have to expect from men. Nearly all of them have little things like that around in one form or another (and lots of women do too!), it's perfectly normal as long as it's all legal stuff. Relax and don't let it eat up your self esteem. Just because he's got a few naughty pics doesn't mean that he isn't still attracted to you. All normal, healthy adults have fantasies, men are just particularly visual.
2006-10-16 00:20:30 · answer #8 · answered by Little Girl Blue 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men like looking at dirty videos. That's just a fact of life that you will have to accept. That is the way we are.
It's no reflection on you, and it doesn't mean that he is not satisfied with you. The correct response is not to get upset, but to roll your eyes heavenward and say 'Men!'.
2006-10-15 23:16:23 · answer #9 · answered by langdonrjones 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i don't think it's right or wrong - it's just a matter of personal taste and oppinion.... but if the guys out there are honest, i think most of them would admit to having either bought porno stuff in the past, or they have a secret stash of it now...... magazines.... websites..... it's just so easy to buy it and download it...... i wouldn't worry about it..... it's just a picture... it can't compete with the real thing - ie, you ! u can tell him that u don't like it, but i wouldn't let it keep upsetting u... it's just a male fantasy thing...... and hey, everyone has fantasies... even us women ! we are better at creating fantasies in our imagination than men are - that's why there are so many porno products/images for men - they need the help !
2006-10-15 23:37:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋