What if I don't want to 'grow up'?

Question

So.... i've always shared my essays for school with my dad. And my math homework. The other day he told me that it's time for me to grow up in the sense that i should evaluate my own work according to my own standards. I felt slightly sad because i like sharing with him... And if that's his defenition of growing up, i don't want to...

I feel slightly ridiculous.

But seriously, if growing up means doing everything on my own without his or my mother's input, i think i'm going to go insane.

I don't know how to let go..

I don't want to 'grow up'.

What about you?

Answer 1

Well.....you always know you have a second mom. *wink*

But first of all.........I can so feel where you are coming from. What a tug of war life is. Something beyond us calling our name while those apron strings are still tied tightly. We're so tempted by what lies ahead. But so comfortable with the familiar. It's easier...... it's tried and true....... it has worked for so long. What if what if fail at what lies ahead?

The cool part is......you never let go of needing your parents. And if you make a mistake along the way they are the first people standing there to pick you up. They'll dust you off, but they will keep directing you down that path on your own. You mom will never stop giving you input. lol Even during times you wish she wouldn't *wink* My mom still talks to me from the grave. No....not literally. But our parents have instilled such values and ideas in our heads that we hear them speaking to us with each and every decision we make. Even when your mom is miles away......trust me, she will still be with you.

You don't have to "let go." Nobody ever said you did. You keep holding on to your youth, to childhood and to playing on the swings in the park. But take those things with you as you go down the next path. Add more to your life........don't take things away that are precious to you.

I know it may be "easier said than done," but trust me.........it can be done with the right spirit........and a youthful spirit is perfect for who you are. :)

Answer 2

I can sympathise...

Not so much with the actual difficulty you have in being independent in your schoolwork...but with the issue of growing up.

I went through a similar...stage, as such in that I absolutely panicked at the idea of aging, getting older, growing up, becoming an adult...etc. because of responsibilities and 'leaving the nest' anxiety.

Do not worry, growing up does not mean your parents want to abandon you.

They want you to gain a little more independence, which is not a bad thing.

Trust me, your parents love you, and will want to be a big part of your life for years and years to come.

I have a very close relationship with my own folks even though I became schoolwork independent at a reasonably young age and they are still very much involved in my life.

So your parents are not pushing you away, and if you feel as strongly about it as you say, talk things over with them. You may not have to necessarily show them all the work you do, but pick out the ones you want to 'share' most.

You must also realise that sharing is different from asking them for help with homework...

Answer 3

i am a teen ager some years ago i also use to do the same but people have to grow this is a natural phenomenon and u cant stop it but u can definately change ur way of thinking this is right time of learning dont feel bad about my saying but are ur parents going to be there for ever with u if so u dont grow up even ur parents want to see u growing up in front of them taking responsibilites of life will only they help u through out ur life is this not ur responsibility to look after ur parents i am not talking about today but some day or the other they will become old then they will need u . even they feel that their child should do something so that every one apperichiate u and it may make proud to ur parents i think ur parents are right.

Answer 4

What you are experiencing is becoming more and more common these days, as parents are increasingly smothering their children, and over-protecting them.

It is part of a parent's job to prepare their children to be independent.

It's time for you to stand on your own two feet, and face the fact that soon you will be an adult. You need to accept that you are your own person, and not an extension of your parents, and similarly they are their own people and not an extension of you.

Welcome to the world!

Answer 5

There are many adults out there who have never grown up and it does become a choice. However the benefits of becoming independent from your parents I believe will out weight the dependence in which you have grown accustom to. I currently struggle with letting go of my own, but soon I just feel this happening....

Answer 6

I remember feeling just like that!!

I still lie in my bed sometimes at night and think "Wow - I'm a grown-up, I'm a mother!" It's harder for some people to let go of childhood than it is for others.

When I left home, after a week, I thought "I miss my mum", but you get used to it.

Whats happening to you is not quite so drastic, but it has to happen sometime! Maybe your dad should still listen to your essays, but not evaluate them. Just share knowledge with you, but let you choose whether you think it is good enough or not.

Try suggesting it to him, and good luck with scary growing up, I'm still getting used to it!!

:-)

Answer 7

Thats so sad. Well im sure they dont want to let go but they are trying to make you feel confordent for you to one day go out into this world on your own. Its scary but trust in yourself and you can do it. Good luck.

Answer 8

I am older than you, and have yet to do so...my responsibilities have multiplied over the years, but then so has my wealth,so now I can afford to be even stupider than I was when I was a kid...

works for me!!

Answer 9

tell your father that, it isn't going to do any good in here tell him you enjoy the time that you get to spend with him and you enjoy his input on things like that tell him that it is important to you and that it means something to you, you can always find other things to do with your parents though other than just asking them for input on your homework

Answer 10

your father is a lucky man to have a someone who thinks so much of him . May I suggest you tell him what you told us .
I like where you are coming from don't grow up