My boyfriend is very jealous, when i stay 10 minutes late at work, spend time with my colleagues when he works late, or spend a day apart from him to go and see my girl friend, he gets very angry and upset.
2006-10-15 22:34:06 · 37 answers · asked by Nicky A 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Nicky, please listen to me, I know it is long but you must read this, this is from bitter experience, and as much as this may hurt, please do not let yourself get into a situation like this. I went out with a guy for 2 years, he was jealous in the extreme. At first it started out with sly comments about my clothes, he did not like me showing ANY skin at all, I am not talking about wearing low cut tops, but he did not even like me wearing a t-shirt showing my arms. It escalated into him choosing all my clothes for me, and then when we were walking in the street I had to look straight down at the floor, because he was paranoid that I was looking at other men. Then I was not allowed to go out, I had to call him every half an hour, even while at work, and if I rang even one minute late he would go mental. He would not let me sleep unless HE wanted to sleep, so even though I had to get up at half 5 every morning, if he decided he was not tired, I was not allowed to go to sleep until he was ready. He caught me talking to a female friend on the phone one day, and then the jealousy turned physical, he grabbed me around the throat and lifted me off my feet and pinned me to the wall while strangling me, he stopped when I started to pass out and go blue. He almost killed me. There is nothing you can do to change your boyfriend, he has a problem that needs to be dealt with professionally, you cannot change him. Please end this relationship and find someone who loves and respects you, and who does not put these ridiculous restrictions on you, someone who lets you breathe and be yourself. I am sorry if this upsets you, but having been there, I know how bad it can get.
2006-10-15 22:44:32 · answer #1 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I had a fiance just like that, absolutely drove me nuts! I tried everything, for example, if I was going out with the girls, I would get him to invite a mate over (or I'd do it), but it made no difference; he remained extremely jealous. So, knowing that in the end it would drive me to despair and drink, I ended our relationship. Now, later, I have an extremely jealous eleven year old daughter, and I can't dump her. I deal with her by reaffirming my love for her, drawing parallels with the things she cares about and an enormous measure of patience. For instance, she is crazy about animals and we discuss the idea of a bird being couped up in a cage and how awful it must feel never to experience the joys of flight and the wind under its wings. It helps in some measure but I guess that, in part, it is because I love her so much...so I guess the ultimate question is, 'How much do you love him?' and is it sufficient to lose some of your own freedom?
2006-10-15 22:53:52 · answer #2 · answered by marimu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You the two sound such as you want counseling. This jealousy is going to wreck the two one among your lives. Jealousy isn't love and he has to come back to phrases together with his insecurities. you need to think of actually perplexing approximately loving somebody like this. is that this the form of existence you want? do you want somebody who's so jealous which you would be able to no longer have a common existence? Get help so which you would be able to learn how to handle existence and stay a common, friendly existence.
2016-10-19 11:46:36 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No offense but if he's being THAT controlling, than you should really break up with him. Those kinds of relationships NEVER end up healthy for a person. Im guessing you've always spoken to him about his actions and if you havent and ur afraid he'll blow up, there's another sure sign that its just not working. No lying, It'll be a hard break up but It will be better mentally and physically for you
2006-10-15 22:40:31 · answer #4 · answered by Eurale 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What follows is giving you a mobile phone, so that he can constantly check on your whereabouts. After that comes the isolation, by embarrassing you in front of your friends. Next comes the bashing just to get your attention, followed by the apology and "I will never do it again". Then he does it again and again followed by flowers / chocolates and the promise to change.
I think you know you need to take control of your self esteem and run not walk to the nearest exit...
2006-10-15 22:42:19 · answer #5 · answered by mark2zephyr 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm afraid to say that those who say "dump him" are right. There is a lot of truth in the saying "a leopard will never change its spots" and I'm afraid someone who is jealous to that extent must put you under enormous stress, which is what you DO NOT want. So - lose the loser!!!
2006-10-15 22:47:36 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This isn't your problem - it's his. It's only your problem because you let him in your life. He obviously has some serious issues that are past you being able to fix them so I think for your sake you should break up with him before he does something like hit you. Trust me, I have known many men like this & the longer you're with them the harder it is to get away from them because they alienate you from your family & friends until you feel like you have nowhere to go when things get really bad. Find someone who has enough self esteem to trust you.
2006-10-15 22:40:34 · answer #7 · answered by shirazzza 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would dump him. It always starts off with them being really jealous next thing your know they start being abusive with you. Men like that are no good for you or anybody. You deserve someone who is going to let you have space. It sounds like to me he hardly lets you have any space at all. Time to move on and find someone else before you get into something deeper that you can't handle.
2006-10-15 22:39:50 · answer #8 · answered by Esther V 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't trust you because hes very insecure. Dump him before you become a insecure wreck I was with my boyfriend for seven years, he totally destroyed me, I avoided seeing my friend it will be hard at first but 5 years later I'm that confident happy sole that no one will ever try and destroy....
2006-10-15 22:49:43 · answer #9 · answered by Lisa P 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hiya Nicky
did you say boyfriend,, he sounds more like a father, you can't stay with this guy. Hes taken over your life and please don't let him do this to you. I know you probably love him and want to stay with him,,, if that's the case set him down and tell him he ruining the relation ship between you both because of his behaviour. Tell him hes going to loose you if he does not stop this NOW
2006-10-15 22:45:44 · answer #10 · answered by chass_lee 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋