we've been together 10 years and have 2 children - but he's still married to his ex and I'm really not sure whether he's for me. Everything is in my name - the house, the business, the cars etc because he's a bankrupt. Do you think he's using me? I've tried to split with him before, but he insists he loves me and wants to be with me - but I'm not sure he's just waiting until he's cleared of his bankruptcy. What do you think? Will the kids be OK if we split? I'm so confused...
2006-10-15 21:38:02 · 27 answers · asked by Ailsa P 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
what i see there is someone who knows what she wants but is scared to make the move...u have the answers not us..u know better than anyone..if everything is in your name..and your not married..your good to go..do what is best for you..you deserve to be happy as do your children
2006-10-15 21:45:26 · answer #1 · answered by tinkerbell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, you've stuck with a married man for 10 years and even given him children? Oh, honey... That man should have eaten your dust ages ago! He is obviously a selfish good for nothing and when he says "I love you" you can bet that what he really means is "I love leaching off of you". He's telling you whatever he can to keep you around so that he can continue to mooch. If he had any real feelings for you he wouldn't have put you in such a terrible situation. Run, don't walk, away from this man. You don't need him or the headaches he will give you. The children will be fine. They will be better off being raised by a single mother than having this utter waste of space around setting a bad example for them. Good luck to you.
(By the way, she's not an "ex" if he's still married to her.)
2006-10-15 22:49:01 · answer #2 · answered by Little Girl Blue 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am really sorry for your life, and please believe me when I say that is just really pittiful. I have never in my life thought that a woman could be dooped that far, and to bring children into the picture. Well honey you really did a number on yourself I would claim whatever confidence and get the hell out of that situation you owe it to your children. They deserve a healthy environment to live so take them with you (because he is not going to give a damn), and leave. Quit being selfish and think of your children. Really that is this the most apalling situation I have heard all night!!! What right do you have to make a decission like this and add children to the mixture get over your own stupidity, and get some sense.
2006-10-15 21:46:24 · answer #3 · answered by foxy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It does not take a decade for a divorce to be finalized honey. He is just using you. Your kids if no one else deserve a life that they can be safe from any kind of stress. By staying with a man that is obviously using you to get what he wants is adding stress on to them with out you even realizing it.Get out while you still can, if he tries to stay with you tell him you need some time alone to think about how you feel about him and how the relationship of him and his wife is going to affect the kids. The kids are the ones that will be more affected if the relationship goes bad. Also tell him that if he truely loves you and wants to be with you then you can see about having a relationship AFTER his divorce when you know its finalized and there is no other woman involved in his life.
2006-10-15 21:50:47 · answer #4 · answered by ~MandiNic~ 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well if he loved you like he say he do he would have got a divorce from his ex you and him have been together for 10 years and have two kids and he is still married that should let you know that he isn't going to marry you. and he is just there because you have good credit and you can get all of the stuff that he can't. move on you are wasting your life away on a man that is already married. the kids can still see daddy .
2006-10-15 21:47:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do your children say? They would want their mother and father together! Is your relationship bad? If everything is in your name, his marriage isn't a threat to you. You don't say why he won't get a divorce, but I woulnd't pay too much attention. Most men's loyalties are where their wallets are and he's invested in you.
I'm assuming he's living with you, by the way. Full time. If not, well, then you have some serious thinking to do.
2006-10-15 21:57:15 · answer #6 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes you just don't want to love someone any more but you can't help yourself. I think you need a serious chat, put it on the line. If he wants to be with you he must divorce his ex or its over between you. Then stick to it. His reply will tell you everything you need to know. You and the kids will be fine, it may take a while to adjust, but you will all be fine. Good Luck xx
2006-10-15 21:51:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh hon, You know i dont really have anything that you wanna hear right now... but this guy sounds like hes a bit of a leech (or should i say tape worm)... im presuming that it is was with his wife that he became bankrupt (forgive me if im wrong)... and then like a knight in armour here you come and support him. Fund him.. Love him... when in reality your not getting anything in return... it sounds like he is stuck in a huge rut and feels safe with you... as he is not having to have his name on anything he is free to do as he pleases...
You say that everytime you go to end this relationship he says he loves you etc... but doesnt every desperate man. I had an evil ex who was a 'tape worm' just like your guy.... my advise hon.. sh*t him out before he gets you in any financial difficulties... he obviously is not prepared to divorse and take your relationship seriously... so why should you fund him and support his *** with no prospect of a life with him!!!! THINK OF YOUR KIDS!!!!!
get out whilst you can... it will be hard to start with... but when you get over the grief you will wonder why you stayed around for 10 years... and as for your kids... i think tey will be ok... kids ajust!!! especially if they see your happier on your own...
Good Luck and sorry if ive misread into this!!!
( " , )
2006-10-16 04:34:49 · answer #8 · answered by Cat ( " , ) 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
After 10 years and no commitment,says only one thing,and it would teach him if you just dumped him and claimed all thats in your name and found someone that truly want you for who you are with out having a bit on the side and using you for hiding bankruptcy purposes.
But you have agreed to him doing this to you and will carry on with it,as no one can do something to another with out them allowing it.
2006-10-15 22:00:49 · answer #9 · answered by asmoothrider 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you've made a mistake in the first place..having an affair with someone who has a responsibility alredy is big big mistake..but enewie,i cant blame you because that's how love goes..my advice is that,for the sake of the two kids try to settle that matter by talking with him..it depends on d situation,so if you prefer to end that thing as a loser then take your time to decide the best decision..goodluck
2006-10-15 21:48:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋