3 months ago my 1st ever boyfriend contacted me out of the blue to tell me about a school reunion, a 25 year school reunion.We talked and as i am now divorced i suggested a meeting. problem is he is in a relationship with 2 year old daughter and another on the way. We havent met yet i havent seen him in 10 years.We talk like we have never been out of contact. I have very strong feelings for him and always have. he isnt happy but wants to do the right thing by his family.Should i meet him? Have coffee with him?Or should i stay away.Dont want to be the other woman!!!He said i am his soul mate and that he has never asked anyone else to marry him because i turned him down, twice.What to do?
2006-10-15 21:27:17 · 14 answers · asked by willy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Okay I was in your situation a few months ago. He may still love you but his feelings may not be real. I would meet with him but let him know that you just want to meet as friends at first. See if the feelings truely develop. Hes obviously in another relationship and has some kind of feelings for this woman or he wouldn't be with her. I would just have coffee with him, don't make any kind of physical contact and see where things go, if at all possible avoid the whole past "how i fee/felt about you" conversation that will only either bring up past feelings or will complicate things.
2006-10-15 21:32:54 · answer #1 · answered by ~MandiNic~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People... they are the worst! Do you really have to ask what you should do? This whole situation is so juvenile and selfish. The guy is married, hasn't seen you in how long and you are wondering what to do because you NOW have feelings for him after turning him down twice before? Have you always had feelings for him or have you just decided that now because he is back in your life making you feel nice about yourself?
Sounds like you are just lonely and sick of being on your own so as soon as someone gives you a little nostalgic attention, you want to turn it into something that it's not, even though he has a family which is very much together. Grow up, be nice to each other but leave it at that.
2006-10-15 21:55:50 · answer #2 · answered by punkvixen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's bound to get a lot more stickier if you don't stay away. You're hedging on being the other woman. Maybe you're feeling like it was a mistake by turning him down before. But now more than ever you most certainly DO need to turn him down. So stay away! That means you don't go meeting with him or even talking with him. He needs to continue to do the right thing by his relationships and family. If he isn't happy now he's going to be really miserable if he starts messing around. And so are you. Lady, there are a lot of wild distracting thoughts being stirred up here. Don't you think that you both are old enough and smart enough by now to know better?
2006-10-15 22:05:56 · answer #3 · answered by quantumview 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay the hell away from him. Don't go to the reunion, lock your doors, and change your phone number.
He's telling you straight up that he doesn't have any plans on leaving his family. And whippee! never asked another to marry him. No, but he's on his second baby with some unforunate soul. Doesn't that make you feel special, that he wants to screw his soul mate. It can't go any farther than that, and don't start thinking that you'll be able to change his mind.
Honestly, all a man has to do is give us women a couple of false hopes, and we're ready to throw our whole lives away because of him. Give me a break. Don't fall for this fool again. and remember, there must have been a reason you broke up with him all those years ago.
2006-10-15 21:37:48 · answer #4 · answered by penelope 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have any children? If you did and you had no idea what was going on ( i mean by putting the shoe on the other foot) how would you feel to find out that your husband would soon be gone? And your children would be fatherless?
Would that leave you confused and a little indifferent towards any future relationships? I know it would me and as for the other woman factor or issue that is exactly what you would be labelled as by his children and the whole other family (dont forget that those are his children and you will have to deal with them a very long time and that means dealing with her to she is there mommy...So you weigh the pros and the cons and decide as for me I would definetely stay away and far away I am not and would never be a home wrecker man I couldnt sleep.....L
2006-10-15 21:35:37 · answer #5 · answered by Angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Knowing that he is in a relationship you should avoid further complications and if you think that meeting him is that important then meet him along with his wife for a cup of coffee.
2006-10-15 21:40:54 · answer #6 · answered by wanchoopk 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stay away until he gets his family life figured out he must deal with his relationship before trying to even start a friendship with you considering your history.
2006-10-15 21:34:13 · answer #7 · answered by shelly f 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He still loves you and you have confessed that you love him too just go for it my dear you cant be the other womn in his life just go after him and accept his marraige proposal you will find true happiness with that.
2006-10-15 21:39:07 · answer #8 · answered by zinja 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
crazy talk... 10 years for him to realise that? outta blue... crazy...
stay away... u should start life again but not with a married man and a KID.....
there are many guys around.. trust me...
2006-10-15 21:31:18 · answer #9 · answered by alfahomme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you dont want to be the other women okay , no that we have established that move on
2006-10-15 21:32:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋