Is it okay to refuse my step children borrowing or asking money from me and my husband ?

Answer 1

they won't stop asking for it unless you tell them no.

Answer 2

Of course it's okay, it's your money.
BUT
It would also depend on how much they want, what they want it for, and whether or not they had other source(s) of income, like an allowance or a job. And, since you said "borrowing" can you rely on them to pay it back somehow? There are a lot of factors here that I would need to consider if it was my kids or my step-kids, (which I have both.)

As a parent, it's part of your husband's job to supply his kids with necessities and SOME of the things they want. Use your best judgment, and talk it over with your husband. If mother is in the picture somewhere, then you two would also need to find a way to set up some kind of agreement as to who is responsible for what for the children. Part of his child support (if she has custody, and he's paying support) is supposed to go towards their clothing and other needs, but that doesn't excuse him from all other expenditures. If you two have custody, and she pays support, then it's the same thing. Find something that all of the adults can agree on.
While it shouldn't come out of your money, he should be ready and willing to pitch in when the kids need things, or just want something that is within reason.

Just some examples here of what I would do:
If they had no allowance or job, then I would grant most any reasonable request, like money for a movie or anything for school.
If they wanted designer clothing that is more expensive than what is normally bought, I wouldn't fork over the extra dough. They don't need the expensive labels, and they do need to learn that a pair of jeans doesn't need to cost $120.
If they wanted to "borrow" money, then I would make sure that they knew that they have to pay it back, whether in cash or chores around the house.
If they had money of their own, but wanted to use it for something else, then no way. They need to start learning money management, and how to limit their spending.

As parents, it's up to you, your husband, and their mom to set the rules about money and spending for the kids. If you two feel that they don't need the cash for legit reasons, then don't give it to them. Missing out on a the newest video game won't hurt them, nor will having to make do with less stylish name brands.

Answer 3

Really it is your money and you have the right to refuse anyone.
Do you say no to all the children or just his. Do they pay you back?
Really children who are grown should try to support themselves but sometimes they need a little help. If you cant afford to help that then that is different than just saying no.

Answer 4

yes it is very ok if you dont then they will never learn to stand on thier own two feet and take care of themselves and there own family and what will happen when you both are not there any more to help them I know lost both my parents buy the time I was 15 beentaking care of my self then my kids no help and we are all better and stronger for it.

Answer 5

Yes!

Answer 6

you say whatever you want and you allow your husband to say whatever he wants with his money.hopefully you have your own money.don't try to monitor his money with his kids even if you think they take advantage,they are his kids and we parents don't take kindly to others keeping us from parenting.

Answer 7

Yes but you and your hubby should be on the same page

Answer 8

Of course!! Really kids are always surprised if you give in to such requests. lol

Answer 9

You can say "No" to them but,if there Dad wants to say "Yes",he can because he's there Dad....

Answer 10

sure it is! why would you think it wouldn't be? you're the parents, you set the rules!