We're married for 6+ years and having 2 sons ~ 5 years old and almost 2 years old. We're being a happy couple when we met and till married. i've supported the family financial with every single cents i've earned and i've been a good husband and father ~ No smoking, No gamble, No going out & No drinking. We're trained our kids knowing our family must be together ~ with father must got mother. and we're happy with it. When i've noticed, my family gots income problems and i've been trying to supported it with everything i could by working overnight at home often. She's noticed me always worked at home overnight but she's didnt understand my pressure. Always asked me - Don't work to late but i've ignored her many times coz if i've stoped WHO's will supported my family. My brain started to think HOW am i earned more to give better life to my wife and kids! till.... i've noticed --> my wife said WE no love & want to divorced and she's in love with her penpal guy at china, leaving us.........
2006-10-15 20:51:11 · 20 answers · asked by peter71 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She's refused to gets counselling with pastor and forget every single things we've promised plus our wedding VOWes at church. Only she's want is asking me to LET her go and she's said She's suffering. I did asked her for last chance by revised all my schedule for her to unite our happy family but she's refused. I noticed her heart become hard than a metal and doesnt care of children losing their mother. it's really hurted me 100% and i suffering when i knows my sons will lost her mother forever. MY sons are innocent!!!! Why she wanna broke their TRUE heart as what we're being through trainning them from the day our sons born. WHY????
i've struggled till my heart on her broken but i still love her if she's still willing to ..... i still asking her to unite our family to go to NEW place to start over again. She's still refused. MY KIDS FAITH still SAME and i'm SAD..... How am i survive this????
2006-10-15 21:12:29 · update #1
HERE's MORE DETAILs ON MY HISTORY.....
i knows she's got this guy penpal when we're together till now. But ppl's always got penpal including me. But when i found her, i cutted all my penpal coz i've found the right person to started my life. penpal = friends. Before she's telling me her answer, She's always said wanna have a long vacation to china to meet her father plus penpal and i knows she's got presure with kids. And i trusted her 100% with all my heart, i plan for whole family going to china vacation but she's refused saying it's expensive but i can borrow 1st. She's still refused and so... i asked her sister to go with her. My father died at my age of 18 and i usually said father and child must got communication when they're still here. i supported her to take a long vacation and i'll take care 2 kids.
NIGHTMAREs came.... before coming back from china saying her answer to me. Now she's back after meeting china guy 1st. face to face with her sister and asking for divorced.....
2006-10-15 21:29:24 · update #2
You sound like a very loving and devoted husband and father. I am in tears right now that you could be going through all this. I am a military wife and I thank god everyday that I have a loving devoted husband because I see so many marriges end around me and for stupid reasons and some people you think are going to be together forever and then they part and it's so mixed up. I hate to say it because I know you are dying inside, but let her go. You deserve better and so much more, and so do your children. If she can just walk away, she isn't worth it. You've been taking care of her so long, see how she survives without you. You have done all you can to save this marriage now it's time to concentrate on your sons. They will need you to be strong for them. Stay active with your church, and remind your kids everyday that you love them and so does their mom even know she left and it wasn't anyones fault, it was her decision. Find yourself new friends who will help you accept this.
My husband is the son of a devorce his father had to be a contractor and worked far away to support his wife, my husband now, and triplet identical 4 year old boys. His mother sent his father divorse papers on valentine' day, his father had sent her two dozen red roses. She took the kids and told the courts he had abandand them when he sent them every penny he made. People change and sometimes you just can't make sense of it. You have to just move on with your life. My prayers are with you.
2006-10-18 08:44:47 · answer #1 · answered by missy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe your wife is jealous that you are always busy with work. You should try to lower some of your bills and maybe ask her to get a part time job. Maybe she can get an at home job on the computer or something. I don't think she is really in love with a man from China. She just likes the excitement and fantasy. She needs to grow up and be a mother and stop fantasizing online when she should be caring for you and the children.
2006-10-15 21:01:05 · answer #2 · answered by Mystie 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Her BF on line is imaginary. She probably dosen't even really now a thing about him. She could be just messing with your head to get you to pay more attention to her.
I don't think men in China treat their women very well.
Work and family is a balancing act. You need to work enough but need time to be home with the family also.
A single income for a family of four is rough. Not only is hard to tred water with the bills but it is the only security of income. If she is leaving how does she plan on getting to China? Not with your money I hope......
2006-10-15 21:16:29 · answer #3 · answered by justpatagn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should have made sure she had a part time job so she knows what it feels like to contribute to the household income. let her go to the man in china she will come back. that's computer love she doesn't know what she's getting herself into. make sure the kids are safe. she is not worth trying to keep because she was carrying on a online affair that you knew nothing about. get counselling and have your financial things in order get custody or joint custody so you don't loose contact of your kids. good luck and you will heal as time goes by
2006-10-15 21:01:34 · answer #4 · answered by sexylousleo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you serious? you have all these great quality's and she is in love with a pen pal in another land. she have issues and you should be lucky that you are seeing this know. maybe this a way for you to relieve some of the pressures you are having by working so much and so hard to support a family. but what is she doing to help the family i know one thing she can do and that is to get a job and get of the notion of being with this guy, talk to each other get counseling and if it doesn't work well ha its much cheaper to get rid of her.
2006-10-15 21:00:45 · answer #5 · answered by nazwats 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry that you are being hurt so bad when you have tried so hard to be a good husband! Is she leaving the children as well? All I can say is that you need to hold yourself together for the sake of your children! Hope that things will go well for you!
2006-10-15 21:00:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try romancing her with chocolates and flowers. U're working all the time, making her lonely for marital attentions.
Cut back on the overtimes and spend some time with Ur wife + kids. Go on a holiday together. Show her U appreciate her being there by Ur side.
2006-10-15 21:01:14 · answer #7 · answered by daisy770 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it takes 2 hands to do clapping
when u think u r working so hard outside to provide the best to the family n in the end u r getting this type of things to happen is not fair to u
on her side,she thinks she jus want the simple life with u and the family with more times together but u r unable to grant her such a simple wish
what u think is the best for the family might not really be the best for them
u can give ur wife n kids all the things they want to buy but u r unable to give them some MORE important things tat they might need............which is ur precious time with them
tis might be wat the so called penpal is able to give,the love,the attention n the time
its her fault to ruin a family for a man she now passionate with but is also partly ur fault to let it happened
hope u dun feel offended but every problem u have to view things in 2 sides n not jus ur own side
all the best to you
2006-10-15 21:00:16 · answer #8 · answered by Western 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get marriage counselling. You need to talk to her and she needs to talk to you. She needs to give up on this silly fantasy of being wil her penpal.
Good luck. You sound like a good husband. Maybe she can work, too.
2006-10-15 20:54:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man, that bitc* needs to be shot! Tell you what, I know a guy......wait, let me give you some advice.........Do NOT look back. She is leaving you and the kids.....at least you got the kids...I know it is going to be hard, but find some family and friends to help out while you get back on your feet.......Go to Central America and get a real woman who will treat you right!
?Puede ablar Espaniol?
2006-10-15 21:02:08 · answer #10 · answered by 6ft5inallman 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋