Feelings after abortions -?

Question

After having two abortions because the birth control i was taking obviously didnt work and now two years down the road i feel guilty about having children at all because i had the two chances. I am only focusing on adopting... how can i overcome these feelings/thoughts.

Answer 1

I highly recommend the free online studies available at http://www.healinghearts.org Just about all of their counselors are women who have aborted babies themselves. I also recommend http://Abort73.com

Answer 2

You have to realise that those two chances were choices. You made the best choice given the situation. Yes, it's true, many women have difficulty getting pregnant but, that is by no means a reason for you to feel guilty because you have working parts nor does it mean that you must reproduce because others cannot. You are not to blame for the luck of nature.

If you can't reason with yourself out of guilt and ignore the pro-lifers hatred, (you will get it for simply talking about abortion) then, you should find a counsellor to speak with. Don't go to some crazed after abortion therapy or anywhere that is going to try and convince you what you did is wrong and you need to forgive yourself. That's more pro-life lies. Find yourself a qualified pro-choice therapist. You can probably get a referal from a planned parenthood or the doctor who preformed your abortions.

Answer 3

Therapy is helpful. Also, you need to come to terms with your decision, and when you think the soul enters the body of a fetus. Making that choice in the past does not mean you won't be a great mom now...it means you were wise enough to wait to have kids until the time is right.
You should try to forgive yourself if you feel guilty, and don't judge yourself for being in a different place now than you were back then.

Answer 4

I don't know what your beliefs are but it plays a big part in your guilt. If I were you, then this is what I believe: The babies who were aborted recarnated back to earth to good parents and a wonderful life. I would try to have another baby because deep down inside that's really what I want. And I would image having a wonderful baby who would be perfect for me and give me the opportunity to share a wonderful life with. and if I am happy and want more babies, I can adopt or have more. There is no bad karma for letting go of a child you were not prepared to have, only bad karma for being a bad mom.

Answer 5

Its normal to grieve but after some time to should be a bit easier ,I think you should talk to a councillor.Given time you will be able to have a child of your own and give that child the love you feel you should have given the lost ones ,PS this is not a safe forum for this question as people are very opinionated on this topic ,good luck and be kind to your self ,you can not go back and you properly made the right choice for you at the time.

Answer 6

Do you want children, is that even going to be an issue? Well I hope you don't mind people giving you there opinion about this subject because you just opened up yourself to a world of hate. This is one of the most touchiest subjects out there. Let me just say it may be just 2 years but you will feel guilty for the rest of your life, not trying to be mean just trying to be real. Now you can't go back in time but you can be smarter about the things you do in the present because you have learned from your mistakes. I don't know if adoption is your best option. I think if you are mature enough to have sex in a monogomus relationship than you should be able to be ready for kids of your own. Don't let your mistakes in the past lead you to mistakes in the future. Don't think that you shouldn't have your own kids because you did what you did, that is silly. Trust me I'm not trying at all to be mean in any way whatsoever, just don't want you to go out and adopt a child and then regret not having one of your own.... Hope this helps a little.

Answer 7

My feelings on abortion is that it's killing a baby. It's not "removing a clump of fetal tissue" or the sugar-coated "terminating a pregnancy". Just look at how the abortion is performed- anyone w/ a brain in their head can see that it's murder. People who say it's not murder are simply looking for an excuse to justify their selfishness. It amazes me at how delusional people are about abortion- abortion is legalized murder. Period. Is it scary to find out your pregnant when you don't want to be? Yes, it is- and I know from experience. I kept my baby girl...is it hard raising her at times? You bet. But she had nothing to do with being conceived...that was a decision that was made by my now- husband and I.

Answer 8

at the start that's an extremely heated subject rely so do not assume superb solutions. many persons are very enthusiastic approximately this subject rely. yet i'm going to be superb. :o) i think of that no rely what your age, in case you're making the alternative to have intercourse, then you definately ought to handle the implications of your strikes. on the triumphing time there's no excuse for undesirable pregnancies with all the beginning administration obtainable and there genuinely isn't any excuse for homicide in my eyes. you're killing a residing individual and if people provide up finding at a toddler as a gaggle of cells early in its progression and comprehend that this "chew of cells" has a concepts, a heart, eyes etc.... in case you get pregnant, the least you're able to do is provide the toddler up for adoption. there are various households that ought to truly prefer to have babies yet can't.. the only reason i'm able to ascertain that an abortion could be extensive-unfold is for scientific reasons that endanger the mum. that's it. yet that's in basic terms my opinion.. In a case of rape, in basic terms by way of fact a woman became injury in one among those terrible way would not provide her the justification to take a existence.

Answer 9

I've had two abortions and like u i felt terrible for years after. I always used to think what if i had them and wonder what my life would be like now if i did. But unfortunately i was 17 and 18 when this happened and chose not to have them not because i was selfish but because when i had children i wanted them not to suffer because i wasn't mentally or financially prepared to have them. Im now 30 and have a 2yr old son and he is beautiful, but when i found out i was pregnant i freked out and was going to have another abortion, one because i still didn't think i was ready and two because i kept thinking about the other two children i had sacrificed. But luckily i have a loving partner who knows everything and we discussed things and decided to have our son and believe me it was the best decision i have ever made. Know matter what happens in your life you'll never forget what you did but that doesn't mean that you can't have another child and love it just as much as you would have the other two. Don't punish yourself we do things in life for a reason and you had your reasons for doing what you did and ultimatley it's no-ones fault it's just something that happens that we have to deal with. I wish you luck with everything i don't know what it would be like adopting but i can tell you that having your own child is the best feeling in the whole wide world it's like a never ending suprise from pregnancy to every stage they go through is just amazing. But in the end you have to do what is best for you. GOOD LUCK

Answer 10

You are apologising for your mistake thats enough for you. but for the you think that you cannot have the child as furthure it is not good. Be cool have a change, Have outing with your hubby for some days go to some hill station forget about all this issues till oday enjoy come back and plan for the New baby. If you find any difficulties contact any therapist or specialist who can help you in this matter.

I am agree with PiePiepie

Answer 11

i have no sympathy for some1 that MURDERED their 2 children, U made the choice - live with the consequences, u shouldn't even be allowed to adopt children, you are no different that andrea yates and all the other mothers that killed their children. guilt is telling u did something wrong, u caused tremendous pain to your children, i hope u feel guilty for the rest of your life