Below is the poem, tell me please what you think of it and what you think a good title would be, thank you.
The words of the weary begin with a theory
Through the fire and flame and such
And you'll always remember this moment so tender
A feeling you wish you could touch
By the blind man's retreat you'll need something to eat
And something to sink your teeth in
And you wish you could beat just by walking the street
All the pain that this life puts you in
So I'll leave with this note, and by this you can quote
Everything that I've said and I've written
For the dust and despair that gets caught in your hair
Is worth nought for the hearts that you've smitten
2006-10-15 20:04:03 · 10 answers · asked by Aaron G 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
I like it... :-)
2006-10-15 21:09:07 · answer #1 · answered by quay_grl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a song by Sting. How about Sweet Evening Tide for a title? You could expound on it and make a chorus and build a song of it. It's like okay - relationships can be like a Sweet Evening Tide that is so fulfilling and beautiful to hold- yet so quickly vanishes and is swept away slipping through your fingers like the water barely enough time to even hold it in your hands.
Okay - enough before I start writing a poem of my own here! This is very inspiring.
2006-10-16 03:12:25 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nice A+
once smitten now biten
2006-10-16 03:05:42 · answer #3 · answered by rx8 slotcar 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its a great poem. Its really good. Title.....not sure.
2006-10-16 03:09:50 · answer #4 · answered by helpful friend 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I can relate to that, as I read it I felt something, it's sad, but it's true!
2006-10-16 03:12:46 · answer #5 · answered by You are loved 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to let yourself a little loose...
Poems are not all about rhyming...
Feel free to "not-rhyme"!
2006-10-16 03:06:38 · answer #6 · answered by Vette 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow that's awesome i think i am got to get that tattooed on me
2006-10-16 03:05:52 · answer #7 · answered by john_bradley420 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"My Painful Walking Heart"
---- a right 'caption' I suppose..
2006-10-16 03:12:25 · answer #8 · answered by SESHADRI K 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i like it....
it could be titled "goodbye"
2006-10-16 03:05:34 · answer #9 · answered by sharrron 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
superb!!! :)
2006-10-16 03:06:09 · answer #10 · answered by xoxcpxox 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋