We have a lease with both of our names on it, is there anything that I can do? I suffer from major depression & have PTSD, & I can't take this anymore, he threatens to harm my pets & me, if I interfere to try & protect them.
2006-10-15 19:20:05 · 18 answers · asked by charlie 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
I am sorry to hear about your pain. I was an emotionally battered spouse myself and I know how it can cause one to go over the edge.
You need to accept that you are in more danger living with this kind of person then you would be not living with him.
You are not alone and there are support groups in your aria. I would suggest getting in contact with them and ask if they can go with you to talk with your land lord. You need to understand that you need to move to a location where this guy can not find you. This is the safest solution if you are unable to prove the abuse.
You need to accept that this will get worse if you stay in the relationship and you must be resolute in leaving this person; this IS a poisonous relationship get help and get out.
THERE IS HELP PLEASE GET HELP NO ONE DESERVES WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH!
LEAVE AND DON"T GO BACK YOU ARE PRECOUS AND DESERVING! YOU ARE A HUMAN BEINGWORTHY OF LOVE AND RESPECT!
An Abused Women's Affirmation
I celebrate my courage in coming here. I was alone, but now I am not alone. I was victimized, but I am no longer a victim.
I name the violence in my life--and declare it wrong. I name that I need help, and that I am willing to give help.
Nothing I do provokes the violence. Nothing about me causes the violence. Nothing gives one person the right to abuse another person. Abusers can change themselves, but I cannot change them.
Nothing I can do will change my past. Everything I do changes my future.
I have protected myself and my children. Resistance to violence, defending myself or my children, is not abuse.
I believe myself; I believe my sisters. I can ask support; I can give support. I can change myself; I can change the world.
My being here helps others. I am not here to judge my sisters, but to support their healing. I will take the risk to trust other women here. I affirm the privacy and confidentiality of every woman in this group. Every time a sister resists, she creates a space for resistance around her.
I am here in solidarity with my sisters of all persuasions, all colors, all orientations, and all faiths to say NO ! to violence. We will not be divided by our diversity--we will be strengthened by it.
In the words of Alice Walker, "I am the woman offering two flowers whose roots are twin. Justice and Hope. Let us begin."
Copyright. SAFE House. 1996. Vickie Frederick-Toure and Susan McGee.
My Prayers and heart are with you
God Bless and Watch over you.
P.S. You need to break your Cycle of getting involved with people like this. You ARE better then that believe it and live it.
2006-10-15 19:56:11 · answer #1 · answered by Shazaaye Puebla 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm really sorry you are going through this, emotional/mental abuse is really hard to prove, but if both names are on the lease, he cant throw you out, if that's one of your worries, obviously you cant live with this person anymore, you have choices talk to the landlord and explain the situation in detail, if you can bring your medical evidence about your condition even better, another choice is get a court order, the problem with legal stuff is that he can turn around and get vindictive so be very careful, some court orders cases can take up to six months, but then again you are not well right now, so that can help speed things up, go away to a friends house, family, whatever but stay away, make sure this person cant find you, on the other hand if you have medical evidence about your condition/depression and PTSD, this person can get into a lot of trouble for abusing a person who's not well, depression causes a lot of symptoms in different people, if a person is abusing someone who is majorly depressed can lead that person to suicide, now please don't even think about it, your life is more important that anything else right now, and about your pets someone or even yourself can make an anonymous call to one of those places that take care of people who abuse animals, Ive no idea if theres one by you, but find out..they will take care of him and his attitude problem, and please talk to someone near you who can help you, you cant take this abuse specially in your condition, it will create more stress and anxiety, theres always a way out, a solution for almost everything except for death.. God Bless and Good Luck... keep us posted...
2006-10-15 19:34:33 · answer #2 · answered by Trick Rocks 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There are worse things than breaking a lease. Talk to your landlord and see if he will let you off the hook. Maybe you should go to the courts and ask for a restraining order against this creep, this could help you get out of your lease. All that needs to be done after is that a new lease is drawn up. Good luck and you need to get away from someone who not only hurts you but hurts defenseless animals.
2006-10-15 19:23:24 · answer #3 · answered by saucylatina 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends on what the lease says about terminating the lease. One of you should move out, but you would still be responsible for paying the rent. The best thing to do would be to pay your half directly to the landlord and get reciepts. This way if your live-in ex doesn't pay his share, you will have the documentation as proof he is at fault.
Also check the lease for subletting the apartment to somebody who is willing to take over the rent payment (either in full or half). If the sublet is only for half, you can figure out who stays and who goes.
2006-10-15 19:29:07 · answer #4 · answered by Kevin k 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't tell you what to do with the lease, but I can tell you what to do with the rest of the situation. If at this stage of the relationship, your boyfriend is threatening you and your pets, your boyfriend has issues, regardless of whether you are depressed or not.
The boyfriend has *GOT* to go. Find a way. Take a week, take a month, take a year, take as long as you want, but any plan that does not involve not only him moving out but the end of your relationship, is a *very* bad plan.
Just my 2 Canadian Beavers,
L8s.
2006-10-15 19:24:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
His threats of harm are enough to get a restraining order and boot him out. Go down to the court in your jurisdiction which handles this.
They will most likely have victim/witness advocates who can assist you. And almost always the clerks of court are more than helpful.
You will have to fill out an affidavit of the threats he has made and that you are in fear of him.
The police will serve him that day and boot him out. You will have to appear again in a few days to extend it for several months, a year--whatever your jurisdication allows. He will have a right to present evidence at that hearing. They ususally don't appear. But if he does--the only thing the court will be interested in knowing is what threats he has made. And if you tell the judge that he did the order will be granted.
I wish you my very best.
2006-10-15 19:29:35 · answer #6 · answered by beckychr007 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Problem: Get yourself a big boyfriend or somebody to hit the sh..
out of him.
Then tell him that if he harm you again, it will be hospital stories.
Yes, hit him yourself when someone is present. He is a bully and will only stop abusing you when you show him you're not afraid and he knows someone else will hurt him if he does something to you or the pets.
2006-10-15 20:29:55 · answer #7 · answered by TP asking 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what he's doing to you is bullying and he's trying to control you. I'd talk to the landlord about the situation and find a way to get HIM removed. I'd also alert the police so they know if anything happens he's the first suspect on the list. After his sorry a.s.s. gets the boot, I'd put a restraining order on him.
Good Luck!
2006-10-15 19:31:53 · answer #8 · answered by viewAskew 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call your local services for battered women. They often have access to legal information and might be able to help you get out of the lease. He sounds like a sadistic moron. You are not safe there. Get out.
2006-10-15 19:29:36 · answer #9 · answered by ValleyViolet 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get a court order against him & make plans to move out & get your half of everything. He is obviously in control of you but you need to be strong. His threats are just his broken ego trying to hold on for dear life by bullying someone weaker than himself.
Once you get a court order against him, cut all ties with him asap & try to sell up & move out. You need to be away from this psycho maniac.
Thank me later
2006-10-15 19:25:11 · answer #10 · answered by Claude 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋