Who likes to edit stuff? I have a college essay I need feedback on...?

Question

it's too long to post here so give me your e-mail and i'll send it to you! I'll still vote for best answer even though it's not posted :oD

Except it's not too long..

Answer 1

I'll edit your essay for you. My email is listed in my profile.
If you would number the lines it will make it easier for me to list any changes I think you should make.

Answer 2

I agree with the person above. You need a better connection between drama to singing to writing. I have always been a quiet person. I never opened myself up to new opportunities or challenges and I never really knew what I wanted out of life. School changed all of that for me. In middle school, a friend pressured me into auditioning for the school musical. My nerves had me shaking and stumbling over words and I blew the audition. However, I still perserveered, and now even years I astound everyone as they listen to "the quit girl" sing out with the rest of the Advanced Choir. Though my friend and I no longer speak, I thank my friend a little every day for her irritating insistence [on what?]. Without her help and the support of my future classmates and teachers, I may never have discovered my love of the arts. I would have never found my way out from the dark, lonely confines of my shell. [NEED A CONNECTION, OR A SENTENCE IN THE FIRST PARAGRAPH SAYING SCHOOL TAUGHT YOU CONFIDENCE IN YOURSELF AND IN YOUR WRITING] Perhaps a more important talent that school led me to is my gift for writing. All through elementary and middle school teachers have told me I am a talented writer. “I would like a complimentary copy of your first novel,” my history teacher, Mr. Johnston, used to tell me. It was not until eleventh grade when I met Mr. Funkhouser that I started to believe my teachers. English is my favorite class, having Mr. Funkhouser as a teacher—an entertaining man and published author—only enhanced my love of the subject. When he expressed an intense liking in my work and asked to edit some of my personal stories, I was made [made what, this is for college, write professionally]. From that moment forward there was no question as to what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. (Writing the same stories I spend all of lunch hour poring over in the library is my dream: THIS SENTENCE DOES NOT MAKE SENSE]. Mr. Funkhouser is my inspiration for becoming a writer. The very reason I am working with dedication on my first novel. School has brought me friends and teachers. Both have shaped me into who I am and who I will soon become. [CONCLUSION NEEDS TO INCORPORATE SINGING TOO]

Answer 3

Sounds like fun...please view my blogs for content and see if that style fo writing appeals to you...my e mail is on my first page.

Answer 4

I'll help. But, I'm not posting my email on here.

Answer 5

You could use a term paper writing service like www.allcustompapers.com or others.. but will not advise paying for homework.. do it yourself!!

Answer 6

[e-mail]
I'm an university lecturer

Answer 7

[e-mail]

i am a professional editor.

Answer 8

Ah, no thanks! Not willing to give out my email address!