Help me decide what to do please, I don't want to hurt my husband but....?

Question

All I want to do is have some fun! How can I stop??
I am 36yrs old, been married for 11yrs and I have no idea why all of a sudden I'm actually asking the guys at work to go out and have a drink with me. I haven't done anything with any of them, yet!, but if its only a matter of time, I just know it. I even tell my husband that I've gone to the bar with this 26yr old...what in God's name is wrong with me??? mid-life crisis? what??

Answer 1

I think you're going through a phase. You're very bored. You know you're going to have sex with a few of these guys. Just do it. Make sure you have protection. Just don't tell the husband. This is your phase, not his.

Answer 2

Satan is roaming about the earth seeking who he may devour. He does not want us to have successful marriages. God is allowing you to be tempted. If you love your husband and you are truly committed to him and you want to respect and honor your marriage vows then take yourself OUT of the situations you are placing yourself into that will destroy your life, your marriage, and possibly even your health. Call it a mid-life crisis or whatever. It is wrong! Stop for just a moment and think about how many lives are at stake here. How many people are going to be hurt? Are there kids involved? Is an affair worth destroying all they know as home and security? Do you really want to offer yourself up as the office whore for the sake of a little fun? There is pleasure in sin for a season honey, but after that comes the judgement. Maybe you are looking for a little more attention from your husband. Whatever it is, you need to take it up with him and leave these other guys OUT of the equation! They are nothing but trouble and heartache for you.

Answer 3

Seriously consider this. You could be going through a midlife crisis. And a mid life crisis, really is just a hormonal in-balance. You need a good checkup. Get some blood work done to see what is going on with your hormones. Secondly, you sound bored, find some safer ways of having fun. Hobbies and such. Thirdly, you have some serious soul searching to find out why you would jeopordize you marriage. I have seen this turn out dangerously. Take care of yourself. Go to the doctor.

Answer 4

Wow I almost thought I was reading a question from myself, I had to read your age twice to make sure. I'm 34 so I guess I didn't write this one. But I've also been married for 11 yrs and am just so tired of not having any fun anymore. I've had opportunities, this summer I had a 29 yr old massage therapist who was definitely interested, and if I was single I would have gone out with him in a heartbeat. My husband just doesn't want to do anything anymore, and we don't have kids so no excuses about kids tiring us out or taking up too much time. We never do anything together, we don't fight or anything we just exist together, he might as well be my roommate. I've tried and tried to get him to talk and get nothing. He just doesn't seem to be unhappy about how things are and doesn't seem to get how serious I am about the problem. I'm just so tired of it and want some fun before I'm too old to have any. I've also told my husband that I've gone out with friends that sometimes are single guys and have even told him about guys seriously hitting on me and it doesn't seem to bother him. I know I'm not really any help but I wish you luck in figuring something out.

Answer 5

Sounds to me like a mid-life crisis thing. However, are you bored in the relationship. I imagine after 11 years you love him and don't want to hurt him, n\but is it the right love. There is a reason why you are putting yourself out there. Perhaps he isn't showing you enough attention or the sex isn't exciting or you just aren;t getting it. If you truly love your husband, and want to be with him, ask him out for a drink after you are off of work. There could be lots of reasons why you are doing this, you just have to question yourself on where you are at in your relationship and take it from there. Good luck.

Answer 6

Learn to have fun with your husband, especially if you want to make your relationship work. Think about the reality of divorce and all of the things that will change in your life. Do you even care any more? If you really are unhappy in your relationship, there is no better time then now to get out. But get out first, then start meeting new men.

Answer 7

Because maybe after 11 years you are wondering if there's something out there for you thats better. Maybe your sick of a regular everyday routine and want some excitement in your life.Fun but potentially dangerous to your marraige isn't it? Scary in a way too right? I would guess that you need to explore and find out for yourself what it is that your looking for but don't tell your husband--ever (period). What he doesn't know won't harm him and if you find out later on that life with him isn't the best thing for you, a choice can be made then but until that time have some discreet fun.

Answer 8

Try to find a way back to your husband! Is your marriage so bad that you want to throw it away! There would be nothing wrong with you seeing a 26 year old if you were single! YOU ARE MARRIED-what are you thinking! If your husband is true to you then you better hold on to him! If you do this then don't be surprised if he does the same to you! There lots of younger women as well as older women who might like him! WAKE UP! You can make it work out!

Answer 9

You are married, honour your vows.
You are married, respect your marriage.
You are married, respect and honour your husband.

The moment you said I do you became one and the decision as delicate as going out to bars with others guys should be made by you but supported or Okeyed by your husband. You're hurting him and it's only a matter of time before you do something you will regret later and possibly break up your marriage.

You want to loose him, go ahead. You want to save your marriage then think about what you're doing cause you're hurting him. He doesn't deserve it.

Answer 10

You want to have fun is all. Fun and cheating on your husband are 2 different things.

Why not tell your husband to meet you for drinks? A trip to Victorias Secret and a bottle of wine...and call it an early evening.

You are stuck in a rut. You need to get out of this rut with your husbands help- or when this rut is over...you may be divorced.

Answer 11

There is no excuse for what you are about to do. You are going to ruin your marriage for probably just a one night stand. You could also jeapardize your job as well. Be smart and talk to your husband tell him that you are missing something out of your marriage. You should be taking your husband to the bar with you and have some precious moments with him.