Convince me I shouldn't feel like this?

Question

I can't stand to have friends who are friends with people I'm not friends with too. I get really jealous and feel ditched and hurt when he hangs out with his other friends. I know I can't be friends with his friends because I don't like them. This is probably because I really hate being ignored which, ironicly, is my life. Help!

Answer 1

You have the right to feel however you feel about the situation, but you need to realize that this is how life is sometimes.

I can't believe some of the answers people gave you, they are harsh.

Is this just your boyfriend? or other friends?

Answer 2

Girl, you need to wake up and realize that you will smother that guy if you insist upon being with him all the time or not let him have friends of his own.
Even the most loving couples must have a break every once in a while. You say you don't like his friends, and that is probably because you are too busy being jealous to really get to know them. Jealousy will only bring you heartache in your life. get over it, realize you are only a part of a persons life, and start to grow up a little.. this is not a personal attack by the way, it is meant to be an eye opener.

Answer 3

I assume you are talking about your boyfriend. Remember all people need time away from there loved ones every once in a while. If this really bothers you to a point you cannot stand it. I would say you are very selfish. You must go out with friends sometimes or have girls night out when he is not allowed to come how do you think this makes him feel? Does he complain to you about it?

Surley you have other friends besides your boyfriend. If you have neglected your friends since you have started dating and now do not have anyone to do anything with when he is with his bud that is your fault not his. Really you should not neglect these friens especially your other girl friends because these are the people in life that will be for you in hard times. If you dump them you cannot expect them to be be available to talk to during these times and believe me there will be these time. You are currently going through one of these now it just is not that bad.

A lot of times people who have an attitude towars life like you do, that everyone hates them or is out to screw you over make this a self fulfilling prophecy. This happens because people do not like to be around people who are always negative and having pitty parties. when people are like this it comes to a point when the other person decides they are not going to put up with this kind of behavior and abandon you for friens who are more positive and uplifting. I would look for the good in him and not focus on the negative if this is not possible you will never be happy together and should probably not be dating each other any way.

Answer 4

First of all get real. The problem you are facing is understandable and you are aware of the practicality that you can not be friends with everybody who is your friend's friend. Each one of us have our own circle of friends who are compatible with our nature and mutually share warmth and care. Possessiveness is the single factor which wrecks many otherwise good relationships. It is good if you adopt a more flexible approach towards this issue and take things as they are and make the best of it. When you are able to open up to the world in a more harmonious way, you will be amazed to discover that there are wondeful people in the world who can be a treasure to you. It is all in our hands to do things in a flexible and mature way by overcoming the limitations of our thinking and approach towards life.

Answer 5

You're suffering from a borderline personality complex, if you do not know what that is then look it up online. You need serious psychological help to get over feeling of abandonment and insecurity you felt from a lack of an adequate paternal relationship--dad was not around enough. Because you feel like you do not have control over your own life you feel the malicious need to control the lives of other people--who can be whose friend based upon your approval. I'm serious you need extensive psychological help to get over this complex. Good luck to you.

Answer 6

You should not feel like you have described above. You have your own friends and your friends have their own aside from you. There is no reason to feel jealous when your friends hang out with others who happen not to be your friends. You are causing your own misery because of insecurity. Stop the insanity and you will find yourself happy and contented with those people you consider your friends.

Answer 7

ok slow down ,what the main problem i see here is really you got to start ,to accept that some people have friends and dont wish to share them ,the feeling of been ditched is really all i nthe mind , your thoughts o n the subject tell me that your a little insurcure ,you sound quite young ,and this will take time for you to ,adjust to,give it time ,try to chill alittle,maybe you want all his attention? which he wont give up, but may i suggest you request more time just with him, im sure he will agree, im not going to convice you either way this is really a battle of wits ,learn to repect his wishes,and try to be honest on what you need from your friends,even tel lthem how hurt you feel,you never know he /she may change to help you out

Answer 8

to me it seems as though you are lacking a lot of things. insecurity, are afraid that maybe other people can turn your friends against you,your friends not wanting to be friends with you or trying to outdo everyone else. look, you should be happy that your friends have other people that they hang out with and maybe you should explore and find others besides your friends of right now that can add on meaning onto your life. jealousy is not a good thing therefor i would reccomed for you to your befriends' friends and get to know them. maybe that will make you feel more secure.

Answer 9

It sounds like you are suffering from insecurity. This means that you make everything about you. You need to find a way to focus on other things and people rather than yourself. Maybe you need therapy....Just make sure you don't go to a wacko who has you thinking that everything wrong with you started when you were molested as a child.
(Unless, of course, that happened.)

Answer 10

<>You need to work on your self-esteem. Take it a step at a time. Have him invite one friend over (preferably one you don't REALLY dislike too much). Try to involve yourself in the conversation; be (don't act...be) interested. Let him/her talk to you. See if you can establish some kind of common ground. If that works, try it with another friend, and then another. Next, involve one of your friends and one of his. Finally, throw a party for everyone and mingle!