i'm sick of this marriage?

Question

we always quarrel.... almost every month... i can't stand it anymore... i'm so stress... what should i do???

Answer 1

if you guys love each other and are quarreling about things that can be worked on....go see a counselor

Answer 2

Lose your stress, and start to see the brighter side of things, so that your mind will loosen up, and there will be less quarrelling. When you try to solve every problem there is around the house, you start to forget about each other, and the emotion becomes tense. Eventually, this negative emotion will over take your relationship, and it will poison it (and that will end it). First, slowly... stop the quarreling... communicate with each other... spend time doing fun things... and from there, show him affection... It's like rebuilding your relationship all over again without rushing into it (worrying is a bad emotion for relatinoship). If all these fail, I suggest counseling. Good luck!

Answer 3

Quarrelling isn't necessarily a symptom of a bad marriage. It's more of a symptom of bad communication in the marriage.
You & your husband need to work out the major issues in your relationship, & the methods that you are using to communicate now are obviously not working.
You could go for marriage councelling, but before you do see if you can try some "Intentional Dialogue"

Take a look at this website where they give a relatively detailed explaination of the technique & see if you & your husband can give it a try. If you really give it an honest try, it could save you a lot of time & money with a marriage councellor.
Good Luck
http://www.relationshipjourney.com/dialtips.html

Answer 4

My mentor says that when two people quarrel, usually it is just their values that are quarrelling.

Your values are your priorities in life and the things that are most important to you.

If you quarrel often, you are likely to have very different values and beliefs in life.

There are a few things you can do:
- sort it out through marriage counselling, try to understand the other person's point of view and work it out with effort

- ignore and wait for it to lead you to divorce..

You can go for marriage counselling with churches or you can search online for some courses to go to. i think there are many in SG.

For a start, you might also want to read some books by John Gray under the Men Are From Mars and Women Are From Venus series.

Good luck!

Answer 5

You and your husband need to sit down and discuss the root of what is going on in your guys marriage.For long you both will find yourself arguing every day instead of once a month if things can't come to an understanding.Listen to your heart,what does it tell you to do?I would try to recall the arguments and think what they were about and who said what.Sometimes without thinking,we can start arguments with out knowing we did.Maybe your husband is feeling the same way as you,but he is confused as you are about what to do next.Do you Love him?Does he love you?If so,then there is a base to work with towards your marriage.Every marriage sometimes has ups and downs,and your marriage doesn't sound so abnormal.Just stressful at times.No one said that everyday would be a bed of roses for us and would come with instructions for every detail for the perfect marriage,that is something that no one has ever had.Whether it be due to themselves or friends and families.I wish you both the best and good luck to you both that you find your way back to one another,if possible.

Answer 6

Quarreling is normal, but if you do it excessively it signals that you either married too fast or that you are simply immature. I hope that you are not pregnant. Having children too early in the relationship can seriously hamper your style and cheat you out of the true purpose of marriage which is to know each other, enjoy each other's company, and work out your differences. People who hope to save or better a relationship by having children are living a fantasy. I have been married for about 14 years and know exactly what you are talking about. Don't believe that stupid Paula Abdul song "opposites attract." The truth of the matter is this: Birds of a feather fly together.
Cheerio.

Answer 7

Leave. Unless you have kidlets, then stop being a spoiled brat and own up to your part in the "quarrels" and make changes. Read Dr. Laura's book, "The Care and Feeding of Husbands" before you walk out with the kidlet(s) and into the arms of Chester the Hunk Molester just around the corner.

Answer 8

It is important to keep in mind that when you got married you made a commitment for life. If you bail out now because of some conflict, what is going to stop you from doing the same thing in every other relationship or marriage you are in? Work it out, develop your communication skills, talk with a good marriage therapist. Don't throw something this important away so easily.

Answer 9

Go to counseling, find out WHY you are always quarrelling, and get better. It is possible, although not always fun. Trust me, I was a rotten SOB for the first 7 years of my marriage, but I went to counseling, and my wife and I went together, and now have a stronger marriage than ever. Rule #1, learn to sacrifice, giving is harder than taking.

Answer 10

i am newly married. and before we got married we were counseled and the one thing i really got out of it was that no where in your vows of marriage did you say anything about feelings. just becausethings aren't going your way, or just because you don't feel you are "in love" anymore doesn't give you any right for divorce. that's not what marriage is about. marriage is about a strong commitment that you made to go through life with this person come hell or high water. our society has made us think marriage is just another relationship, another job you can just quit if you think it will make you feel better. i disagree. do everything you can to make it work. and start by getting the notion that you can just leave if it gets too hard out of your head.
i'm not saying you shouldn't get out of a marriage if there is abuse. that's a different story.

Answer 11

I believe there are thing that causes both of you to quarrel. Did this sort of thing happened during your courtship days?
Don't be too stressed out. Give yourself sometime and cool down. Think what you want in your life and speak to your husband on this matters. Hope this could help you in someways.