How do I get my wife to stop over-reacting?

Question

My wife has a terrible problem of turning a minor setback into a full blown battle.
Today after church I left the classroom to look for my wife and be on our way home. After 5 minutes of searching I finally found her walking down the hallway.
The first thing out of her mouth is "Where have you been?" And I tell her that I have been searching for her and she tells me that she has been searching for me, too. "What's wrong? You didn't see me waiting for you?" she says. And I tell her "No, I didn't, that's why I have been looking for you." She says "That's your problem... you never think!"
That happened about 8 hours ago and she still hasn't spoken a word to me. Am I missing some deep, mysterious reason for being upset? Because I just dont get how you can get so mad over one simple little thing. And it happens often.
Anyway what do I do now? I just want for her to realize that she is treating me very unfairly and it's making me think that I should leave her.

It isn't that I want to leave her over this one little issue.... Its the fact that it happens ALL the time! I am always the bad guy no matter how normal and innocent I try to be.
Just last week I missed her calls because my cell phone was charging. I don't even want to re-live the drama that happened after she finally did get a hold of me.
I try to be a loving husband but I am playing the game at a major disadvantage... I'm always wrong, no matter what. She can blow up in my face whenever she feels like.
I wish I could get even half as mad as her when she does stupid things. But I understand and I don't even bring it up. She on the other hand has to rub my face in it for weeks and weeks.

UPDATE: It was a cold hard night on the floor of my living room. Drove her to work, still wont say a word. I told her that she could keep quiet or talk to me like an adult. She chose the former.
Apparently I'm the evil one. If she hates me so much, how could she have ever married me in the first place? Either she's incredibly spiteful, or just an idiot... I'll try to find the answer and keep you updated.

Answer 1

OMG!! Hon, all women do this!! LOL I do this to my husband...He says all women need drama in their lives! His sister is even worse than me!! I can't believe you would leave your wife over drama; who is being dramatic now?? Maybe she just needs some attention....It sounds like it!

Answer 2

First thing, she is overreacting. If she was standing somewhere out of your sight range, and she didn't say anything, it's not your fault that you didn't look in her direction.

Second, apparently she thinks you don't think very well on your own. I read the story over again, and nowhere did you say, "Well, I thought you were over here." There is something else going on, and you need to find out what that something is.

Lastly, this is not worth leaving her. The whole thing is a big misunderstanding. She should have let it go hours ago. You sound like you love her a lot, and there is no reason to split up your marriage over this.

Approach her carefully in the morning, and see if you can make her laugh. If that doesn't work, then just ask her what the problem is.

Answer 3

Your wife couldn't possibly be upset over something as simple as that-she must have underlying anger issues. Fortunately, you have access to one of the best places that can help-ask the church about marriage counseling or seek one outside the church.
Meanwhile, do not take it personally and don't let it come to the point of physical violence.
If she doesn't make some improvement soon you may need to take steps like a separation because being miserable is also mental abuse.
Try working it out if at all possible but if not then make the transition to being single as civil as possible especially since there are children involved. Best of luck.

Answer 4

I have no answer for this but would like to respond anyway. I, too, have these problems and they make me feel terrible. I find that when my boyfriend upsets me, instead of talking about it I get mad and say stupid things. It's almost like a switch thingie inside me head. I have no clue why I do it and have tried to control it but to no avail. The only thing that I haven't done is gone to therapy and I think that is going to be my next step. It's not as if I (or I'm sure your wife) wants to be like this.
My suggestion is to sit her down and let her know how this is affecting you. Don't judge or point your finger at her. Give examples and explanations and question her as to why she thinks she does those things. AND PLEASE...if you find out why, email me back. I'd love some help with this situation as well. Good luck.

Answer 5

Sounds as though she is a drama mama. Yes I think she over reacted that is for sure. You could of turned it around as well and told her well where were you I was searching all over the place for you. You should talk to her and ask her why she is so mad. There could be something else that is bothering her and she is taking it out on you. I would tell her that as well.

Answer 6

it sounds to me like she needs some pamprin. but for next week name a place to meet after church-and you get there first and patiently wait with a smile on your face. If she seems to get peeved over things similar-then beat her to the punch and get specific details about who,where,and when BEFORE the outing.
sounds like she may be hormonal-maybe she should have her levels checked or you should do some digging and see who she is talking to/spending time with. Mutual RESPECT is needed and she does not appear to respect you.

Answer 7

Is she menopausal? There could be lots of reasons. She sounds a bit hormonal. You need to talk to her and find out what is wrong. Don't break up your marriage for such reasons. I am in menopause now and I am very tempermental and moody, but my husband is fantastic, he knows when I'm being irrational and he makes acceptions for it. If you love her, give it time, talk to her.

Answer 8

Since both of you are believers, than you should take the lead in praying for her. There may be some unforgiveness in her toward you in the past. Such behaviour don't come about suddenly, talk things out. God bless.

Answer 9

Sounds like you married a drama queen. Good luck with that!!

Answer 10

don't hold back your words if you feel like you have to say something thats bothering you.you do have a right to speak.