How many Republican Conservatives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Question

1. One to deny that the light bulb needs to be changed.

2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs to
be changed.

3. One to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb.

4. One to tell the nations of the world that they are either for changing
the light bulb or they are for darkness.

5. One to give a billion dollar no bid contract to Halliburton for a new
light bulb.

6. One to arrange a photograph of Bush dressed as a janitor standing on a
step ladder under a huge banner:' Light bulb change accomplished!"

7. One administration insider to resign and write about documenting in
detail how Bush was literally in the dark.

8. One to viciously smear number 7.

9 One surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on how George Bush has
had a strong light-bulb-changing policy all along.

10. And finally one to confuse the American people about the difference
between screwing a light bulb and screwing the country

11. Four hundred and sixty two: Twelve to investigate Clinton's involvement in the failure of the old bulb; twenty-three to deregulate the light bulb industry; sixteen to cut funding for alternative lighting R&D; thirty-four to cut the tax rate on light bulbs; fifty-three to design a block grant so the states can change the bulb; forty-one to talk with defense contractors about night-vision gear instead of light bulbs; and two hundred eighty-three to pass a law making it illegal to discuss naked bulbs (or screwing anything) on the Internet.

Answer 1

Only one,
but then it takes the liberal media to report that it was done incorrectly,
and the democrats in congress to complain about why it wasn't done before the old one burned out,
and Cindy Sheehan to protest outside the Bush Ranch in Texas,
and then there's the foreign pollicy fallout for using a Chinese replacement bulb,
and the domestic fallout because the Republican wasn't a union member,
It goes on for weeks before the election . . .

And when the election is over and the political fallout blows over, it is discovered that it was a democrat that broke the old one just to make the republican look bad.
But there is no follow-up in the news cycle.

Answer 2

Very funny...best thing I've read in a while on here. Unfortunately the Republican Conservatives in charge right now are going to start WWIII in the ultimate power play to retain/gain control of everything. Who will vote against them after they commence "D-Day"? Will there be polls, or voters for that fact, to go vote on November 7th?

Answer 3

It's impossible for a Republican or a Democrat, or anyone else for that matter, to even fit inside the light bulb let alone screw in it. Get a clue!

Answer 4

One day I seen Junior and Chaney sitting at a bar and I walked up to them and said "wow what are you guys doing here" and Bush said we are trying to decide who to bomb next, Iran, or a six foot blond and I said "why a six foot blond" and Chaney leans over to Bush and said see I told you people don`t care about 60 million Muslims.

Answer 5

No in reality they don't change their own light bulb they ask the illegal mexican maid or yardman to do it.

Answer 6

Are you Remy D? You sure sound like him.

This "question," still rhetorical, seems a little bit better than the last one. There's hope for you.

Oh, btw, you answered your own question.

Answer 7

I like that. Very clever. I've yet to see anything as good coming from the right, as far as humour goes.

Answer 8

Awesome!
I was thinking, they would pay Halliburton $100 million to do the
job & then have Halliburton charge them another million for
the bulb.

Answer 9

Good one!

Sorry Calee, I inadvertently gave you a thumbs down, oops! You can give me one back.

Answer 10

You are a bitter person. I feel bad for you. Find something better to do than hate people.