Is it right? What would you do?

Question

I have a 5 y/o Daughter and a wonderful boyfriend I have been with for a year now. Lately my Daughter has been calling my b/f "Daddy" just playing around but it's happened more than once and I believe she is trying to get a reaction or wants that connection with him because he is the closest to a Father-Figure she has.
Her real Dad is in her life but not as much as he should be-he's not a bad guy but he is living 3 hours away and only calls once in awhile. She spent half the summer with him but because of his parents it was cut short. I can not call him because he doesn't have his own phone-he uses others but that doesn't mean he doesn't want me to call-I just can't.

My boyfriend doesn't have a problem with my Daughter calling him Dad but neither of us really know what to say to my Daughter and because I can't call her real Dad to let him know whats going on I'm not sure what to say to my Daughter. She knows who her Dad is but is it ok for her to call my boyfriend Dad?

I would never ask anyone to take the place of her real Dad or put the responsibilities on my boyfriend but she does need a father - figure in her life. Her Dad does love her and wants to be more in her life but because of some other issues he had to move up north and that is why he is so far away right now-but when he was closer he spent all the time he could with her.... so he's not a bad Father at all. Just not around enough right now.... And like I said, she does know who her real Dad is and she loves him, too. But if it's ok with her and my boyfriend would it be right for him to be called that - she obvioulsy feels comfortable with it...

And one last detail.. my boyfriend and I are getting a house together in the next few months so I know I know she's going to be looking up to my boyfriend even more when he is around all the time... I am just looking for advice and suggestions so we can work something out. We do believe she is doing it because her Dad isn't around and I do believe the choice is up to her mostly --- idk... I just want to know what others think

Answer 1

I live in a situation similar to this. What I've done from the beginning is for the little ones not to call me dad (I'm not there biological father) but to call me by my first name. This worked (dad is dad, I'm me), and there has been no problem for the last 9 years.

Answer 2

If your boyfriend is going to be in your life forever & be part of her life have her call one "dad" and one "daddy" so she won't get get them confused or a lose a connection with her real dad.