My kids are better than your kids!?

Question

My husband thinks my kids are bad. They are normal 8 and 9 year olds. Not horribly bad, not angelicly good. I know they aren't angels. I think his children are bad in ways that my kids aren't. Again, his kids are not angels and not horribly bad. Both of his are disrespectful to adults. My kids are loud and fight with each other. My prob is that hubby has compared his kids to mine. His are angels, mine are miserable. This makes me angry and kinda makes me resent his kids. I try not to. but, it's hard. He spanks my kids, but never his own even when they do things that are worse than what mine do. He takes my child support $ and uses it for bills. He takes the child support for his daughter and puts it in a savings account for her. His family owns the house we live in. So, they would say that is why her child support goes into savings while mine is used. I'm sick of the double standards and it is causing bad feelings. I love him dearly though. What can I do?

Answer 1

How about putting your children and yourself first
time to move on
I have remarried with 3 children (boys)
before the marriage I have told him that you need to understand that my children come first & no one is allow to hurt them
if they do something you and I will deal with it together
where money is concern we are responsible for all 4 children (he has one from a previous relationship)
Don't let anyone used you children nor their money
if he does not respect your children that mean he does not respect you ,if you stay in this relationship as it is as the moment you will lost your children, and the worst thing that a mother can have is regret for the way she cause pain to her children
Move on, your love for this selfish man can not be stronger than your love for your children nor can this man love more they do
Take your kids and start your life
I'll bet you within 2 wks after you left he will see his children for what they are
Be strong have courage, Pray
be good to your children, be patient and some day you will have the Angels that you deserve

Answer 2

You should have planned better for a blended family. You can't discipline another parent's kids - your husband should back off with the spanking (you let him do this to your own kids?). And you should find out why your kids are fighting. Are they copying you or your new husband? And there is definitely something wrong if he's taking your child support payments to pay the bills while fattening up a savings account for his own daughter. You have problems... but the most important thing are your kids. Be a mother!!!!

Answer 3

Wow. First, go to a reputable marriage counselor. Start there. There are many things wrong with the way he is acting about the kids. It almost sounds as if he's making up for guilt with his own kids and second guessing your discipline skills with your kids, among other things. He has no right, ever, to spank your kids, for any reason. Beside the fact that they're too old for spankings anyway. In my humble opinion, your kids are doing better because they're only fighting with eachother. That's completely healthy and normal. Disrespect for adults leads to worse, like disrespect for authority and bad behavior at school will follow. Seek help soon.

Answer 4

Express how you feel to him. In this day and age man is no longer the ruler of the house. It is seen more as a 50/50 relationship. Its not fair that he uses your child support for the benefit of the entire family, but uses what he gets for his daughter to only benefit his daughter. This is going to be a bigger problem later in life when the kids want to go to college. Will it be that you don't have the money to pay for your kids to go to college and there is this nice savings built up over the years that will allow his daughter to go? All the kids in the house must be treated equally no matter what. You both knew that you had other kids when you got together so there is no reason why he didn't marry them too. Please do what you are doing about resisting your feeling for resenting his kids. It is his mistake and not theirs. Good luck.

Answer 5

Talk to your husband tell him your feelings about the childrens behavior. tell him you would like to set some ground rules for all children in your house hold to live by.Quit the spanking evidently it is not doing any good. time to make a change. if its corner time,you'll get some crying but stick with it and it will make things different. as far as the financial part of your problem remember you are a family if a savings is created for one child so be it for all.

Answer 6

you really already know that he does not love you are your children hes the man of the house he should pay the bills if his child support goes into an account so should yours its not fair and i wouldn't allow him to hit my children at all.your kids are going to hold you responsible when they are older enough to understand what you allowed to happen to them if you sit and do nothing you are less than a woman to allow someone to mistreat your children and you stay with him because you think you love him you should love your kids moreleave him are tell him how you feel but i dont think hes changing

Answer 7

Look lady you have a madman for a husband, so what do you expect. The days will come when your children will show respect to you and him but his will act like pigs. He is insecure so do not bother to watch him

Answer 8

Sounds like his goal is to be in control of everything... &... for him & his kids to be up on a pedastal.
Start taking charge of your money & your kids... & don't let him be the one who always has the last say.

Answer 9

Leave and sue for support in divorce court. Accuse him of abuse in court as well.