Help with girls?

Question

I'm 18 and never had a girlfriend. I'm definitely good looking, that's not a problem. I guess the problem is I never really had the right opportunity to talk to girls and make relationships. Or if there was a chance, I never knew what to say.

Probably the most popular answer to this question is "join a club or some activity you like and meet people there". This doesn't work for me because I don't have time between work and school and don't really have one particular thing I like deeply.

I'm looking for someone 1-2 years younger so being a freshman at college doesn't help much. So I guess what I'm asking is what is a good place/situation to meet girls (by themselves and not in large groups or with other guys).

I'm thinking about different places and scenarios and a thought just popped into my mind. If I were to go to a place like the mall, how would I go about meeting someone? Should I go with a large group of friends, or by myself? Do I just randomly walk up to girls walking in the mall? Seems a bit ackward just walking up and talking to someone randomly.

Answer 1

First, it will be hard for you to get your "mind around" this because you are thinking the way someone your age thinks, but 18 is very, very, young. Your choice of the words, "never had a girlfriend", makes it seem as if you think that being 18 and not having had a girlfriend is not normal. Many, many, people of your age haven't yet had girlfriends or boyfriends. You think more in terms of, "I haven't yet had a girlfriend."

Don't go up to girls in the mall. That's creepy and - you're right - awkward. If you were in a group of guys, and you all met a group of girls, that would be different.

I think the best way to meet someone is to meet as many friends as you can, and maybe you can meet girls to date through those friends. I know you can't just sit around and wait, but you never know when some new girl could shop up at school or work.

You may not have time for joining some activity, but that does remain one way to meet more young women. If you don't have time, that's how it is; but if you don't meet someone to date then you know its because you're too busy with school and work.

I know how you feel right now (feeling as if you're 18 and don't have a girlfriend), but six or seven years from now you'll look back and see how absolutely super-young 18 is, and how (even if though you may wish you had a girlfriend) it isn't a big deal for a young guy your age not to have yet had a girlfriend.

Answer 2

I am 19 and i travel alot. The best place I have found to meet women is a large bookstore (Books-a-million, Barnes & Noble, etc.). This is a good way to meet women because 1) you already look intelligent for being at a bookstore, which women love and 2) you can almost automaticaly know something the girl is intirested in by the material she is reading, which may help you land the first date. If you see a girl you are intirested in go into the same section she is in and act as if you are looking for a book in the same section. This may seem like you are lying to the girl but most relationships end up in a lie so this is the most logical place to start. If she is sitting sit near her- close enough to spark a conversation. It never hurts to get her a drink- as most book stores have coffee shops, and water is not a good drink. Don't be afraid to talk to women- they are just as nervous to talk to you as you are to them. A date is not hard to obtain if you know the rules to the game.

Answer 3

If you are "looking", the chance that you are going to 'find' a good match is not in your favor. Guys think that going out, going to bars is the place to pick up girls .... how many lasting relationships do you know of, that have started off in a bar?!!

Just be yourself, honest and try not to think too much about - being a single guy, looking for a girl - for some strange reason, women can sense a sense of urgency and tend to shy away from a guy that is too eager (looking).

If you have the time, you can get some culture and also help out the world by volunteering .... cause every woman that wants a guy, wants a nice guy. (it is the wild and crazy guys that get the girls ..... but eventually ..... they want a different girl, and that is when the girl realises that she wanted a 'good guy' *** I guess what I am really trying to say ... let it work out naturally ... I know at 18, your hormones don't want to quit, but be patient.

Answer 4

I think the guy who advised a book-store has it right. Personally I find that I am much more open to meeting new men (unless introduced through friends/work/etc) and potentially letting them try to chat me up (when i am single) during the day, and in places like book/music stores, grocery shops...that sort of thing. That kind of atmosphere is much less desperate and more relaxed than, e.g., at bars/clubs/parties where I am usually on pervert alert and therefore much more bitchy and cold than usual.
You're also much more likely to find girls by themselves (not in packs) in such places, which does make it easier to actually start and keep up a conversation (for both of you).
Although I would recommend caution on trying to fool her into thinking you are something you are not (as advised by the other answerer). If she's looking at a book about baby kitties with tears of adoration in her eyes, and you are in fact a dog person who can't stand felines and gets asthma just thinking about them, you might want to steer clear of pretending to 'share her interests' and find something else to talk about :-)
Just be confident, genuine, and forget about creepy pick-up lines. I'm sure you'll get a girl in no time.

Answer 5

Well you sound like your school and work is a big part of your day. From someone who has been married for what feels an eternity ... is there any way to just have fun with your friends and just hang out .. and finish school with out any distractions .. I know this is the opposite of what your thinking ... BUT hanging out in Barnes and Noble .. or Albertsons you dont want to seem like a rapist waiting around ... I would start small and work my way up on the talking to girls ladder.. start by sitting near girls in your college classes .. getting their early... talk about tests crappy teachers ... and you will get the hang of it .. especially during exams( not the test time but after the exam when you leave the building... after your done in the halls ) .. you can chit chat .. how did you do hard questions ... .. study with these friends( girls) get to know them like the back of your hand... then ask where they all go on saturday nights... meet them there ,, then strike ... strike small , Buy a study friend a drink or coffee,, ( because you have to go back home to study.. ) then after a while your friends will start sending you girls... girls like to help out a nice looking single guy... but start small . trust me this works . these girls in your classes can be used as a resource for friends.

Answer 6

Hi, looks dont realy matter. (u can b the most hansome chap but u dont hv fate oso no use ya.) Didnt u have any gals schoolmates? Just b natural, the more u wished, the least will b coming. U'r still young man. So b patient & wait..

Answer 7

just start being friendly to the girls in ur everyday life. my best relationships with guys r the friendly ones. and please, for ur own sake, drop the cheesy pick-up lines! im sure u dont do this, but when sumone says, 'r u tired? cuz u been runnin thro my mind all day,' and u met him 5 mins ago, just kinda makes u want to hurl. haha! now ur in college, i expect much better from u! ;) but dont be shy. just start talking to them. believe me, they have something to say, if someone is listening.

good luck!

Answer 8

well, one make sure u have time for a realtionship. don't let ur work ruin it otherwise ur out of luck. All I can say is that there's the mall, stores and stop looking. She'll come, trust me!!!

Answer 9

just be yourself.. stay calm.. girls dont eat cute guys.. lol but seriously, just act natural and uhh, good spot to find girls?? i'd say go to the mall, the beach, and those house parties in a friend's pad..

gud luck..