2006-10-15 15:39:47 · 32 answers · asked by sexy00soldr 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It called; "Woman's Prerogative" I think I would tell her; "Let's just stay Divorced". That my opinion.
2006-10-15 15:43:24 · answer #1 · answered by Snaglefritz 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie don't take anyone's advice here, this is Y/A, people can say a million things, but the fact is, what is your heart telling you to do? Those who say don't take her back, (once a cheater always a cheater) don't know that, unless they've been around her all her life. You do know her, but not even you know how she really is, if she cheated it's possible because of the fact that you were not there for her and she felt abandoned and needed your love, if it wasn't the case she wouldn't want to get back together, only you know the motives and reasons why you guys got a divorce, she divorced you, you said, if she divorced you, divorce is a huge step, I wonder what is making her change her mind, perhaps she finally realizes what a great man you really are and she isn't going to find someone like you, but only you know if you'll resent her for all she's done.
If you really love her still, it will be necessary to get some couple counseling, but she really needs to change and show you she'll never do it again, the next question is, how long have you been apart? and divorced?
She needs to know what she wants and make up her mind, if she is unstable, young and immature, then you should let her grow up on her own first, if you are willing to wait, and if it's worth the trouble, she'll need to prove herself. Let her do it, and let her do all the talking, let her look for you and do most of the work. Just sit back and watch her, be an observer.
Good luck!!
2006-10-15 20:31:44 · answer #2 · answered by You are loved 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well there are two different ways to look at it. You could say she had was lonely and had a lapse in judgment. Or on the other hand maybe she doesn't love you like she should. Either way she did you wrong and it's up to you to decide which way you want to look at it. No matter how you look at it you should always remember you deserve better. There's no good excuse for one spouse cheating on another. It all comes down to how you want to deal with it. I wish you the best and I hope you follow your heart. But if you decide to give her a second chance you would be wise to find out the truth about why she has changed her mind.
2006-10-15 15:49:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a veteran myself, of course I've seen all types of drama in the cheating department. I'm not gonna make excuses for her, what she did was wrong. Life is too short to dwell on past mistakes because we all are guilty of mistakes in one form or another. The question is where does your heart lie? We only get one, two tops if were lucky at finding true love, whether we embrace it and all its faults or turn our backs on it, is a demon within us as individuals to decide. Do you still love this woman? Don't listen to everyone on here telling you to let her go, to move on, if your hearts speaks differently. You need to do some soul searching and figure out what will make you happy. You served your country, I commend you on that, now do yourself a favor and enjoy your life. You definitely deserve it. Good Luck and God Bless.
2006-10-15 16:01:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm an army wife, and i would nor could ever do something so harmfull or hurtfull to my hubby. we were married for 5 yrs before the army so we had our foundation down for a strong marrige to build off of. your ex made a selfish decision based on her own needs of insecurities or fears of you being deployed. maybe they military life was a bit much for her, and her loniliness took over, but whatever her reasonings, she left you mentally and physycally the minute she layed down with another person. i'm sure she relalizies her mistakes, but what will happen the next time you deploy or have to be away from her for a period of time. I know this life can be rough at times, but my hubby sacrifices everything even his life to provide a better future for me and our son and our future children, a life we could have never had outside the military lifestyle. i'm sorry you got hurt in the process of doing for your family. be strong and remember there are plenty of other ladies out there.
2006-10-15 15:54:27 · answer #5 · answered by Becca 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can understand her being lonely. As a military wife, I'm sure it's hard on her when you have to go away. The flesh is weak. Things happen. You guys can talk about it and move on. Her indecisiveness tho, that's not at all good. She divorced you? She gave up. That's not excusable.
It would be unfair to say walk away. But, you'd be a fool to just say 'lets do it again' and not consider that in a moment of weakness, when it really counts, she does not make decisions that for the benefit of you both.
2006-10-15 15:52:12 · answer #6 · answered by Honey 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That is a tough one man. So many wives cheat while the man is away at work. A lot of them just don't know about it. They go out with some girlfriends for a night on the town and meet a guy and go home with them for some companionship and fun. The guys who say, "that would never happen to me...". They seem to get cheated on more. Maybe because they don't pay enough attention to the wife.
As for you...think about if you could live with this longterm. If she did it once she will probably do it again on you. But that means you can do it also. So you can have your cake and eat it too, lol. You and her may just need to talk honestly and lay down some honest wants and desires. Then if you both can live with that...go for it. Good luck.
2006-10-15 15:54:57 · answer #7 · answered by Ricky 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
she was lonely and selfish, I have been deployed many times and have seen allot of people divorce, she didn't want to be faithful - now she sees that the grass isn't greener on the other side and wants to come back - be careful once a cheater always a cheater.
2006-10-15 16:13:59 · answer #8 · answered by SIR LEE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she is a complete basket case!! Time to cut and run. What happens when you get deployed again? I think you know whats gonna happen.
2006-10-15 16:57:03 · answer #9 · answered by Tony 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there dude. She was lonely with no help or affection ripe for the picking. But she also made a choice. You have to decide if you really love her enough to try. She actually sees her mistake now but you have a hard choice to make. I would make sure that if you remarry have a prenup.
2006-10-15 15:42:45 · answer #10 · answered by Tommy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because she has learned that the grass isn't as green on the other side as it looked learn your lesson and move on don't take her back anyone that would cheat while your deployed isn't wife material.
2006-10-15 15:41:11 · answer #11 · answered by Amy M 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋