Why do so many people get divorced today instead of sticking together and working through their issues?

Question

and what differences are considered to be irreconsilable for a couple so much so that their marriage is to far gone to save?

Answer 1

I hear ya. Too many people today go into marriage thinking if it doesn't work they'll just divorce. Marriage has lost it's meaning, it's no longer a convent between two people, rather a temporary situation. The expectations are he or she will complete them, will make them happy, will fulfill their needs. This is so far from the truth, and when they discover that they quickly get out. The only problem is, the next relationship will only have the same issues, because the expectations are off. Our spouses are not responsible for our happiness, we are. If more people would make changes in themselves instead of trying to change the other there would be a lot more successful marriages.

Answer 2

If more people had your thoughts about marriage there would be a lot less divorces. The fact is most people think the exact opposite: "If this doesn't work we can always divorce" is a thought that most have. Most don't want to work for their marriage. The either enter the marriage expecting the other to change or expecting the marriage to change their bad relationship. They don't work towards a good relationship and then when things don't go as they planned they give up and divorce. There are some legit reasons to divorce like abuse, adultery, etc. but if I had to guess, I would say at the very least 60% of divorces are because people just give up. Very sad.

Answer 3

Because it's so hard. With both people in the relationship working and kids, added onto that all the rest of the responsibilities and volunteer work one could do, there's not alot of time to see each other and it's very easy to grow apart. I have been married for 16 years. The one thing that I'm beginning to learn is that you MUST make time together. You cannot hold a marriage together without quality time alone with your spouse. NOT with the kids. People grow apart with all of the variables in life. You have stress and financial difficulties that can add to the chaos. Children are very time consuming. This fast paced life has cut out many of the things that held close families together in the years past. If we don't find a way to overcome that then there's no hope for any relationship. We are more likely to just give up when things get hard nowadays too. In my opinion it's the biggest challenge I've ever been faced with to stay married (happily). It's a shame, but that's just the way that it is. From what I've been told about reconciling it takes both people. If one person is ready to leave and doesn't show any feelings of love toward the other there's not much you can do but move on. No act in a marriage is too much to overcome until one person decides that it's enough.

Answer 4

I wish I could tell you the reason, I am going through a divorce right now and my husband filed at irreconsilable differences. He told me we have had the same problem since the first few months we started dating 8 1/2 years ago. After being married for 4 years and having a 17 month child he can't deal with our problems, I just wish I knew what they were. So you ask what difference are considered to be irreconsilable differences it doesn't have to be anything concrete except the person doesn't want to work on the marriage and wants out, that is why there is so many divorces...People forget to have a relationship with anyone there has to be some level of trust and communication and if you can trust or commuicate with the person you are married to truthfully, then there will be a problem to bad for the person who didn't know. Plus the gov't makes it easy to get out of a marriage without actually committing a crime, less work that they have to do.

Answer 5

People today in this generation do not trust in God. A family that prays together stays together. If married couples would seek God more, they could have healthier marriages. But now in this day and time no one wants to give or take. A marriage is a give and take situation. You have to be willing to meet each other half way. God said in His word that what He has joined together, let no man put asunder. People really don't live by the Good Book. Also the bible says that no one should divorce unless its for adultery, but people are divorcing for anything now. When people are really willing to fight and hold on to what they have then their marriages could work out. Couples should be willing to stay for better or worse, richer or poorer, and in sickness and in health.

Answer 6

I think people aren't taking the time to seriously get to know their partners or consider whether they have a truly compatible partner. It seems like people spend more time researching and shopping for a car thn they do shopping for a partner.

That's why there are so many divorces.... First because they had no business getting married in the first place and second cause theirr issues are way too big to work through.

And we live in a society where everything is disposible... including a marriage. Too many people think marriage comes with an expiry date!!

Just my thoughts.

Answer 7

couples now are in too much of a hurry to get married especially the younger ones....they don't get to know each other properly...they jump into a marriage that is destined for the rocks....people should just stick together, date, go out, be a couple THEN in a few years...plan a wedding, this is the problem with the young ones today...my nan and grandad are both 86 they have been married for 66 years and still going strong...they have been through everything together, illness's, trauma, death, everything, they still hold hands and have a cuddle too...why cant all marriages be like that....loving and long lasting...girls want to marry more than boys do these days because they have this fairy tail image of that wedding dress and flowers and bridesmaids and all the flouncy floaty stuff that goes with a wedding....its the after part they should think of....just just rush into it with their eyes closed

Answer 8

Depends which person of the divorce you ask. I am going through one after 17 1/2 years and you'd think it should be pretty much on it's way. I thought so. But sometimes no amount of trying will ever fix it. Most times if people find forgiveness first and try to make it work then there is usually a chance. However if you just say cheating ********* then give up with no thought then that's how it'll end. But if there is love you can always pursue it but it has to be both parties that is trying.

Answer 9

I tried everything to save my marriage but there came a point of no return. I just couldn't subject my children to those kind of living conditions anymore. In some cases, it's better for the children if you divorce. I didn't want my kids to see the fights or worse yet think that it is okay to hit someone that you love. I tried to forget all the bad things that had happened and live for tomorrow but I was weak and couldn't forgive him for all the black eyes, broken nose, girlfriends and getting a co-worker pregnant. Enough was enough. I didn't want my little girl to think that it was okay to be treated by a man like her daddy treated me. I admit I was no angel in this and I take 50% of the blame for our marriage getting to the point of no return. Some marriages are just doomed from the start and divorce is the only answer.

Answer 10

Because we are now a society of I want it and I want it NOW. If some people don't get what they want right when they want it, they'll walk away and start again. It's a shame really, I think for the most part if people worked a little harder, there would be less divorce and happier marriages. Irreconcilable differences just means you can not get along no matter what you try.