I need advise....My husband calls me a c--t when we have an argument. He apologizes but it still hurts. Help!?

Question

Should I forgive him or ask him to leave?

Answer 1

Well, I suggest you take time to think about your hurt. Obviously, c--t is a vile word and it make us feel like a low class whore. So, I suggest you talk to him again and tell him the seriousness of how words can hurt and damage the relationship.

Answer 2

First of all forgiveness is the key for your personal freedom, so yes you should forgive him and move on....WITHOUT HIM!!!!! The name calling is just the beginning to something bigger and more dangerous. You do not hurt the ones you love, your self worth is more than trying save face and sparing his feelings. You must realize the insults are not about you it is how he is feeling and misery loves company. Do not give him that kind of power of your feelings. Now is the best time to get out...no matter what anyone else says you can make it without him, yes it maybe a little rough but it will be well worth it in the end. Remember you are very important take a stand and realized that. Forgive him and move on.

Answer 3

The next time he apologizes do not forgive him. This alone may not be something that should make or break a relationship but it is certainly not something you need to put up with. The key here is not to forgive the behavior, he has learned that he can continue this because you are going to "forgive" it. Next time he apologizes tell him you do not accept his apology. No matter what he does or says to try to get you to forgive him don't. If he asks you what it will take to get you to forgive him tell him, nothing! It won't take long before he realizes there are some things that can not be forgiven and this is one of them, once he realizes this he will stop. I'd give him about three times if he continues after that, tell him to get out because he does not respect you.

Answer 4

Well he obviously knows that it's a word that pushes your buttons. So probably telling him that won't make things any easier, even when you've moved past the argument. He'll just remember it for the next argument.

People say things they don't mean in the heat of the moment. It's usually to get a rise out of the other person, or because they just can't control their tempers. It's just a word that to some strikes a big chord and is the ultimate in bad words to call someone. To others, it's just another word, like the other dirty words. He shouldn't be calling you names anyway, but if that's his deal, why let him win and know he got under your skin?

You could just make sure he doesn't see your c*nt for about 6 months. Maybe that will help.

Answer 5

My husband calls me all kinds of names when he' mad but when he's not mad, he's the sweetest guy. This has been going on for the last 10 years and I took it like water off a duck's back. How? by not taking what he says during anger seriously. If we are open to the fact that people do not mean what they say when they are angry, it makes it easier and less painful for us. When this happens, he eventually realises that calling us names ain't going to work anymore, no more effect on us no matter how angry he is..he will stop. Trust me! Now, all i ask of you is to turn a deaf ear, walk out when he starts cursing and come back with a big smile (or whatever you can muster through your tears and heartache), it will softten the situation and his heart. You will become a stronger person emotionally. More importantly, he will stop his ways. Good luck!

Answer 6

That is about the worst word any man or woman could call
me. I had this gal call me that and boy i snapped. Lets say
she had to rearrange her face the next day at work. I think
its really not a choice word for any female. As forgiving, no
way, i sure wouldn't, because it will just continue on with more
nasty insults, and these insults can hurt deeply, as well as
messing up your mind. Don't take it , o.k.. I wish you well on
the take out on all this.

Answer 7

You should talk with him. If it really hurts you that badly, then you have to tell him so.

However, you could also take a different tact. Remember that words are just words. What you say with words is much more important than which words you use. The "C-word" is just another word. Perhaps the reason he uses it when mad is that he gets to the point that he wants a reaction and that's the only word he can think of that he knows works. If it didn't work anymore, he'd have to just tell you what he means in different words. Try saying, "Can't you think of any other words to use, or are you just stuck on that one?"

Answer 8

Let me put it this way. If he STOOPS to calling you a **** when you argue then he must not think much of you when you're not arguing. Forgive him if you think he is worth it but no DECENT husband would ever call his wife a **** even in the heat of an argument. That is the nastiest thing to say to a woman.

Answer 9

It's your call.. my ex would say $hit to me as well, and say how I was pudgy when I'm 98lbs, and I had left work from a docor's leave, and he said.. I'm going to work now.. do you even know what that is?
I made excuses for him day in and day out.. he treated me like pure refined $hit.
Cause everytime we got into an arguement, it was never his fault, and he did say sorry.. but did he learn from it? Nope
Thing's just kept happening.. and happening.. until we split.
I kept making excuses for him, and letting him get away with it.. it's like a dog pissing on the carpet.. are you going to let him get away with it each time even though he's got that cute look in his eye?
It's hard.. I know from experience.. it's sounds alot easier to give advice than to take it, but trust me on this one.. I've been there, and I never stood up for myself, and he constantly walked all over me, and never thought twice of it.
Re-Consider the dog pee, and decide what you want to do from there.

Answer 10

No person needs to be treated in any way that they do not like. From your husband you want love, happiness and respect, if you get no respect tell him you will leave, accept his appology conditionally, in that if it happens again you will leave. Bad words in anger are not acceptable, my wife used to call me hatefull things when she was angry and it hurts, later the appology comes but the words have already had it desired effect in hurting you and making you lose confidence in their feelings for you.