Your neighbor's wife is having problems with her husband and wants to move out. If she asks you to help her is it right? You are friends with her husband as well.
2006-10-15 14:53:48 · 24 answers · asked by mdntblu 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes, but maybe talk to the husband and inform him its just moving just so you can keep the neighbor hood happy...
2006-10-15 14:57:28 · answer #1 · answered by randaroo87 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
First off, just like most of the others have said, you can't do a darn thing without going to her husband, your friend and neighbor, and telling him that she came over and asked you to help her. Just tell him that she asked. Don't ask him if it is okay to help or anything...just state the fact. Be prepared for his reaction, because it may be very out of character. He may get superfly angry; He may become very sad; He may act like he dont care; He may get mad at you...if so, don't take it personal. Dude is probably going through some kind of h*ll that I can't even begin to explain to you.
After you get his reaction, I would explain to him that you don't want any part of whatever is going down. I would tell your boy that you always have an open ear and a cold beer if he needs someone to talk to, and I would leave it at that.
As far as the leaving wife goes, I would just call her back and tell her that you don't feel comfortable involving yourself in the situation. If she is reasonable, mature adult she will understand this. If not, you don't want any part of helping her anyway.
Finally, no matter what, your guy friend is still going to be your neighbor and you don't want to cause any friction with a neighbor, no matter what, especially as it relates to something so painful and sensitive.
No matter how good, fair, honest, whatever your intentions are, you have to put yourself in his shoes. Look at this situation from his angle. What kind of friend dedicates his time and energy to helping his friends ex move? Why would a "friend" even get involved in the situation?
You gotta ask yourself, do you wanna be "that" guy? The answer is always NO! You don't.
Don't be that guy!
2006-10-15 17:08:46 · answer #2 · answered by Cing 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be careful, I lose a friend doing this. I was friends with the both of them. He has anger problem with only her, and he threw her out in the middle of the night after ruffing her and her son up. I helped her get her things...what I got was a death threat from him. He's has cause my family more grief till I can't even begin to tell you. Would I do it again? In a heartbeat, because before he had keep his "Dr. Jeklye and Mr. Hyde" act in the closet. Yes, if she was a friend, and she needed to get away...I would help.
If she was leaving for another man, no! But if the relationship is just going down the tubes from poor communication, abuse, or he's cheating...where the boxes I will help you pack her up.
I hope he's a true friend and understands, if he doesn't are you prepared to lose his friendship. You got to think about it way. I mean, I had just cause, I didn't lose a friend, I lost a enemy and a crazy man....
God bless us all..........
2006-10-15 15:09:51 · answer #3 · answered by totallylost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely. Having gone through a divorce, I experienced the loss of my husband and more friends than I care to count. It is tragic to me that so many people choose sides and divorce friends. It is not your marriage it's his. Take out a big part of your question and answer this part of your question, "My neighbor needs help moving - should I help her?" If your answer is yes than help her. She is still a woman in a really bad spot. If she didn't need your help she wouldn't have asked. Talk to your friend and tell him that you just couldn't say no but you will always be there for him if he needs anything.
2006-10-15 15:19:49 · answer #4 · answered by working mother 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, graciously decline. Do not get involved. You will have to live with the neighbor after she's gone, and it's not fair for her to pull you in. If she's old enough to get married, then she's old enough to figure out how to move.
It's unreasonable and thoughtless for her to ask your help. Plus, does the husband even know that she's planning on moving? How would you explain that? What if the situation were reversed?
Steer clear.
2006-10-15 15:00:19 · answer #5 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that you are sorry about the current trouble, but you can't be caught in the middle of it since you are friends with both of them. Or, if you think that will upset her, just tell her you're sorry but you have too much going on in your own life right now to help her (i.e. you're too busy). Helping her is going to make you have to choose friendships, and that's not a position you want to be in. It's not your job mediate, and you'd be getting into a lot more than you bargained for trying.
2006-10-15 15:05:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not a good idea. Remember, you're still going to be his neighbor after she moves out. It's not worth the trouble. Recommend a local moving company instead.
2006-10-15 14:58:13 · answer #7 · answered by Larry F 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
only if he ask you to help him move her out. that way your friendship will be there,and you can remain a good neighbor for years to come. After all she is the one leaving,and not a good friend or she wouldn't put you on the spot.
2006-10-15 15:14:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Meddle not with other people's business or you will end up in trouble. If she moved out, let her find her own help but not through you. In a crime scene, don't be an accessory to the principal suspect. cause it only adds up to the injury
2006-10-15 15:02:17 · answer #9 · answered by dtmc542006 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
SHE is moving away
HE will be living next door still
you decide who you want to piss off more
your next door neighbor or someone on the other side of town
who will you see more often
2006-10-15 15:06:45 · answer #10 · answered by zether 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋