he was accusing me of cheating on him until he cracked down and told me that he cheated on me , i never did, now we are divorcing for this reason, I can not forgive him and the way he traited me all this time, was he just trying to cover for himself by accusing me? he is my highschool sweetheart.
2006-10-15 14:53:10 · 21 answers · asked by TOUR IN WARZONE 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My hubby cheated on me and we are divorcing. It seems cheating is always an issue, it never goes away. Even with counseling it still just lingers there and pops up all the time. Better to move on with your life and find someone honest! Plus usually those who cheat, do it again! Sad reality but TRUE!
2006-10-15 14:56:58 · answer #1 · answered by Shae 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear, high school or not, it is obvious what he was doing. Nobody can judge what others do without knowing the full story. You have to be clear about the reasons for divorce. Are you divorcing because he cheated or he accused you of cheating? If it was because of him cheating and you can't take that, then, by all means, go ahead, move on with your life and find someone you deserve.
But if you can forgive him but is divorcing because of his accusations, you gotta make sure..is he asking for it or you? if he is asking for it, again, my dear, move on, he's using this as an excuse to get out of your marriage. On the other hand, if you ask for the divorce because he accused you...don't 'cos you will be divorcing for all the wrong reasons.
You love a person, love him wholeheartedly and accept his flaws and forgive his mistakes. This is especially so if you have kids. Do not let him have the freedom and pleasure to walk out of his responsiblities. It won't be fair to the children.
Take care and be strong...
2006-10-15 15:57:38 · answer #2 · answered by angelheart 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry for your trouble. This further confirms my theory that people often project their bad behavior onto others. I am always suspicous of people that accuse others of cheating, stealing, etc. It would never occur to me to do those things. It only occurs to cheaters and thieves because that is the behavior they do. (by the way my husband accused me of cheating all the time - I, of course, never did but he suddenly had a girlfriend within a week of me moving out) I am very sorry to say that it does sound as if your marriage is over just from what you said - I wish you happiness and good fortune in the new experiences that may come your way.
2006-10-15 15:26:12 · answer #3 · answered by working mother 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems that you have already made your decision. Now here is the hard part, actually continuing with this decision. I understand that he is your high school sweetheart but he obviously doesn't care about that or about you. These words may be harsh but trust me, you have to leave him. It will be hard at first and it will be painful, but just remember that things happen for a reason and that in time things will get better! I don;t know if you two have any children but if you do, it's also in best for them as well. Take care and be strong, I've been there and it's just not worth the pain of continuing your life with someone that you do not trust.
2006-10-15 14:59:58 · answer #4 · answered by Vanessa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest you go to a marriage councilor. There are probably lots of things that could be resolved between you and your husband that will give you the opportunity to clear the air and have a renewed "clean slate".
If your relationship was worth the time and effort you each have put into it so far, it is worth the time and effort to attempt to reconcile.
Too often society is ready to throw in th towel and walk away from a difficult situation...
Anything worth having does not come easy...you have to work for it...and when you do it becomes priceless.
YES, these are the words of experience...I have walked in your shoes.
I have learned that being quietly responsible for one's own choices is sometimes the more sensitive and loving choice.
2006-10-15 15:09:40 · answer #5 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone makes mistakes, if the marriage is worth saving, try to make it work. Time heals all and you will learn to forgive him, although you will never forget. Find the root of why he cheated. Usually there is something going on in the relationship to drive a person to cheat. I hope you can find hapiness in whatever the outcome is.
2006-10-15 15:00:25 · answer #6 · answered by awagner1971 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry that this happened to you. At least he told you the truth. He was probably trying to hide the truth from you and probably himself because he was ashamed of it too. If he hasn't apologized then I think you should divorce him but if you really love him and if you think that he is sincerely sorry then I think you should hold on to him and try to make it work. Try to forgive him. Again, I am sorry that happened.
2006-10-15 14:58:17 · answer #7 · answered by bluechicken818 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok maybe he was your high skool sweetheart but if he cheated on you and tried to blame it on you!!!! hell no girl you need to stand up for yourself and get a divorce thats not right dont take any sort of cheating! i alwasy tell my boyfriend even if you just hold hands with another girl its over! you deserve to be treated with respect find someone better
2006-10-15 14:58:19 · answer #8 · answered by courtney5839 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said you are divorcing him, so why ask? If you can't forgive him then you have no choice. You can't live with someone without forgiveness. Forgiveness is something that comes from deep within, if you can't do that, then it's over.
2006-10-15 16:24:31 · answer #9 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If will never work for you two again,once a cheater always and you will never be happy with that,I would go though with the divorce,and,what go's around come's around,he will really get his one day.
2006-10-15 14:57:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋